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Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 24 Dec 2020, 12:40
by Pista
Bodybuilder hopes to spend Christmas with his wife.............. If she can be repaired in time

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 27 Dec 2020, 16:35
by Pista
If you've done crimes in the Birmingham area, stay the fcuk away from this bloke.

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 29 Dec 2020, 10:53
by Pista
Mum tells local rag she's sick of people saying her son looks like Macauley Culkin. With helpful picture of her son posing & looking exactly like.....*checks notes*.... Macauley Culkin

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 01 Jan 2021, 22:49
by EvilBastard
My last post advocated continuous heavy drinking until such times as things improve.

I realise that I should have included the caveat that continuous heavy drinking can have unintended side-effects. Like changing your name legally to Celine Dion.

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 02 Jan 2021, 09:23
by Pista
EvilBastard wrote:
01 Jan 2021, 22:49
My last post advocated continuous heavy drinking until such times as things improve.

I realise that I should have included the caveat that continuous heavy drinking can have unintended side-effects. Like changing your name legally to Celine Dion.
:lol:

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 05 Jan 2021, 13:19
by Pista
"The curved string is needlessly provocative." Claims radio presenter about a.....*checks notes*... cartoon tampon

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 06 Jan 2021, 18:55
by Pista
Seriously Denmark. WTF?

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 08 Jan 2021, 11:35
by Pista
“I know the number 3 prawn cocktail crisps guy too,” Mr Fisher confessed.

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 08 Jan 2021, 18:06
by EvilBastard
Pista wrote:
06 Jan 2021, 18:55
Seriously Denmark. WTF?
Look, I'm not proud of it, but I needed the work, so when they asked if I'd star in it I really had no option.

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 08 Jan 2021, 18:19
by Pista
:lol:

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 10 Jan 2021, 12:39
by Pista
Suddenly iguana

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 12 Jan 2021, 12:13
by Pista
Follow-up.: Seems Yuri has strayed already. Margo reportedly speechless.

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 13 Jan 2021, 11:30
by Pista
Bristol council nips gang activity in the bud by banning....*checks notes*.... cheese toasties

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 14 Jan 2021, 06:24
by EvilBastard
Now then, children - I want you to listen very very carefully:

Do. Not. Mainline. Shrooms.

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 14 Jan 2021, 07:46
by Pista
EvilBastard wrote:
14 Jan 2021, 06:24
Now then, children - I want you to listen very very carefully:

Do. Not. Mainline. Shrooms.
He was just trying to be a fun gi

Image

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 17 Jan 2021, 10:19
by Pista
PSA: Teachers. Before sending worksheets to kids who are remote learning, check them before pressing "send"

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 18 Jan 2021, 13:56
by Pista

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 19 Jan 2021, 10:51
by Pista
Old & busted: Monoliths
New hotness: Baked potatoes

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 19 Jan 2021, 13:46
by Quiff Boy
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/76868103#/

Three bedroom end terrace, Sissons Crescent, Leeds
We have been advised that part of the garden is currently rented from Leeds City Council. No onward chain.

Please be aware this property is being sold by family members as part of a relatives estate. It was the deceased's wishes to be buried in the garden as he was born and died in the house. This wish has been carried out and the property will be sold as is.
:eek:

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 20 Jan 2021, 11:44
by Pista
Pro tennis players, in quarantine ahead of the Australian open, told not to..A) Visit each others' rooms...B) Lean out of the windows...or...C) feed the mice in their hotel rooms?

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 21 Jan 2021, 11:13
by Pista
I'll see your finding toe nail clippings in bed & raise you whole toes

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 23 Jan 2021, 11:58
by Pista
Burglars took cash, jewellery, power tools, & Eddie the crow....Wait! What?

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 23 Jan 2021, 19:34
by Being645
Pista wrote:
23 Jan 2021, 11:58
Burglars took cash, jewellery, power tools, & Eddie the crow....Wait! What?
That is really saddening. I keep my fingers crossed for Eddie to return home in good health ... :( :( :( ...

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 24 Jan 2021, 14:10
by Pista
Sussex police would like to ask the public not to call them to report McDonalds for not serving breakfast after 11am

Re: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Posted: 25 Jan 2021, 12:20
by Pista
If you're missing a door from your light aircraft, get in touch with Wiltshire police. They might be able to help out.