Happy birthday EvilBastard

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Pista
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To the man with an encyclopaedic knowledge of biscuits ;)

Take a break & have a cake :D
Cheers.
Steve
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Charlie
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A fabulous biscuit filled Happy Birthday to our favourite FUCT representative!

:D :D :D
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markfiend
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Happy birthday!
advanced, forthright, signifficant
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Being645
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HBD and all the best wishes from here, too .... :D :D :D ...
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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For the purposes of the forum, can we assume that today is a high holy day in the FUCT ecclesiastical calendar?

Hope you spend the day following the sacraments and drinking from the sacred chalice.
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
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sultan2075
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Happy birthday, hoss!
The most successful tyranny is not the one that uses force to assure uniformity but the one that removes the awareness of other possibilities, that makes it seem inconceivable that other ways are viable, that removes the sense that there is an outside.
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EvilBastard
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Awww, you guys..! :D

Image

There has been tea, and if company tradition is to be observed then I fully expect biscuits later on this afternoon. They will not, of course, be British Standard Biscuits, but our colonial cousins have yet to grasp the fundamentals of biscuitry so they should receive our sympathy rather than our approbation. I may, however, lead a Dunking Masterclass for those of 5th dan and above. Sign-up sheet is on the conference room door.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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Happy birthday :)
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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EvilBastard wrote:Awww, you guys..! :D

There has been tea, and if company tradition is to be observed then I fully expect biscuits later on this afternoon. They will not, of course, be British Standard Biscuits, but our colonial cousins have yet to grasp the fundamentals of biscuitry so they should receive our sympathy rather than our approbation. I may, however, lead a Dunking Masterclass for those of 5th dan and above. Sign-up sheet is on the conference room door.
We aren't all trump supporters you know, some of us appreciated the finer things in life, such as a well dunked digestive. Or if you want to go native, dunk a Lorna Doone. Such dunking has provisional approval* from the California League, Urban Suburban Territories FUCT.


*as you are well aware, the FUCT schism resulted into (at last count) 15 separate CA FUCT chapters, including some who express truly horrifying views.
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EvilBastard
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:as you are well aware, the FUCT schism resulted into (at last count) 15 separate CA FUCT chapters, including some who express truly horrifying views.
We at the FUCT Mother Charter (and anyone who refers to us as Mother FUCTers will be punished harshly) are increasingly concerned at the fragmenting of the California chapters. It's almost as if they have ignored the Unified part of the name, and focused instead on the Fundamentalist aspect. In the early days we would smile upon requests for separate chapters in the northern and southern parts of the state, since the distances required to attend meetings were such that some people in far-flung parts felt understandably disconnected from the Church's decision-making processes.

But we feel that having Oakland, Bay Area, San Jose, Russian Hill, Treasure Island, m*****n, Tenderloin, and Presidio chapters, as well as a Mountain View virtual chapter, is taking the p*ss somewhat. Unless you people start to work a little harder on resolving your differences then I fear that the more hawkish elements of the church militant may not be able to be restrained from revoking your charters, with the consequent penalties. As you know, excommunication from FUCT, also known as debiscuitification, has grave implications, not least of which is only being allowed to consume custard creams, Nice, and Lincoln biscuits, and only of the store-brand variety.

I should stress that mine is not among the voices calling for this - I am mercury rising: the peace-maker, the reconciler, the finder of lost sheep. But perhaps you could mention to your compatriots that there are dark mutterings among the High Council, and the jungle drums speak of a price to be exacted. No chapter has been debiscuited since 1773 (that was the Boston & New England chapter), and although their charter was restored in 1976 in recognition of the Biscuitennial Of The Great Misunderstanding they remain, of course, on probation. There are those who feel that it is time for an example to be made, and a number of chapters may find themselves in for a rough time in The Hall Of The Terrible Teapot (FUCT's equivalent of the Star Chamber) if they don't buck their ideas up a little. I beseech you to spare no effort in making sure that your chapter is not among them.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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eotunun
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Make tea, not love!!1!
How right the Pythons were.
Happy new year, good Sire! ;D
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eastmidswhizzkid
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happy birthday! 8)
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iesus
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Happy B-Day :D
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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EvilBastard wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:as you are well aware, the FUCT schism resulted into (at last count) 15 separate CA FUCT chapters, including some who express truly horrifying views.
We at the FUCT Mother Charter (and anyone who refers to us as Mother FUCTers will be punished harshly) are increasingly concerned at the fragmenting of the California chapters. It's almost as if they have ignored the Unified part of the name, and focused instead on the Fundamentalist aspect. In the early days we would smile upon requests for separate chapters in the northern and southern parts of the state, since the distances required to attend meetings were such that some people in far-flung parts felt understandably disconnected from the Church's decision-making processes.

But we feel that having Oakland, Bay Area, San Jose, Russian Hill, Treasure Island, m*****n, Tenderloin, and Presidio chapters, as well as a Mountain View virtual chapter, is taking the p*ss somewhat. Unless you people start to work a little harder on resolving your differences then I fear that the more hawkish elements of the church militant may not be able to be restrained from revoking your charters, with the consequent penalties. As you know, excommunication from FUCT, also known as debiscuitification, has grave implications, not least of which is only being allowed to consume custard creams, Nice, and Lincoln biscuits, and only of the store-brand variety.

I should stress that mine is not among the voices calling for this - I am mercury rising: the peace-maker, the reconciler, the finder of lost sheep. But perhaps you could mention to your compatriots that there are dark mutterings among the High Council, and the jungle drums speak of a price to be exacted. No chapter has been debiscuited since 1773 (that was the Boston & New England chapter), and although their charter was restored in 1976 in recognition of the Biscuitennial Of The Great Misunderstanding they remain, of course, on probation. There are those who feel that it is time for an example to be made, and a number of chapters may find themselves in for a rough time in The Hall Of The Terrible Teapot (FUCT's equivalent of the Star Chamber) if they don't buck their ideas up a little. I beseech you to spare no effort in making sure that your chapter is not among them.
Oh finder of sheep, please state our case to the Mother Charter.
Here at the California League, Urban Suburban Territories FUCT (CLUSTer FUCT for expediency) the mere thought of debiscuittification lurks in the bleaker parts of our collective unconscious (along with 4 more years) and were it to become reality our members would become directionless and lose all decency. They may even drink lipton tea.

In addition to being the original chapter, CLUSTer FUCT has always held to the highest (it’s legal in California) standard of tea drinking and biscuit dunking. Black tea is never prepared with water at less than 208f (we don’t think in Celsius) and inappropriate dunking is never allowed. We should not be lumped in the same caddy as some of the other chapters -with their more loosy-goosy attitudes to tea preparation, gluten and some of the more frightening store-bought biscuits found in California (and yes I mean the m******n and Berkeley chapters).

If we are not able to bring all of the California chapters under one cozy, rest assured that we have trademarked all possible variations of the FUCT name.
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