FAT

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
Post Reply
User avatar
Mrs. Snowey
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 998
Joined: 12 Mar 2004, 14:43
Location: going nowhere. Fast.

Yayy! :D Qualified today as a workplace first-aider after a week (okay 4 days) of headscratching, confusion and semi-coherent responses.

I can now:

- legitimately push people aside saying, it's all right I'm a first aider

- refuse to give people an aspirin

- make them look extremely silly with nothing more than a pad and a bandage on their head

- drench people in cold water

Still don't know where the accident book actually is at work yet tho'. Must be round there somewhere...

;D
Why do keyboards get so dirty?
Top
User avatar
hallucienate
Overbomber
Posts: 4602
Joined: 17 Apr 2002, 01:00
Location: /\/¯¯¯¯¯\/\
Contact:
Contact hallucienate

nothing to do with file allocation tables then.

well done anyway ;)
Top
User avatar
smiscandlon
Overbomber
Posts: 2595
Joined: 05 Feb 2004, 23:52

Mrs. Snowey wrote:Yayy! :D Qualified today as a workplace first-aider after a week (okay 4 days) of headscratching, confusion and semi-coherent responses.

I can now:

- legitimately push people aside saying, it's all right I'm a first aider

- refuse to give people an aspirin

- make them look extremely silly with nothing more than a pad and a bandage on their head

- drench people in cold water

Still don't know where the accident book actually is at work yet tho'. Must be round there somewhere...

;D
Well done Mrs S.

I was a 'deputy' First Aider for my office, but asked to relinquish my role after the company declined to send me for a refresher course after my certification expired. Their official position was that it didn't matter if I was no longer formally qualified, as long as I knew the basics...

And they recently got rid of the accident books as it was argued that they were actually a breach of the Data Protection Act i.e. confidential personal information (such as Employee X caught his todger in his trouser zip) shouldn't be publicly available for other colleagues to look / laugh at.

The worst 'injury' I had to deal with was when one of the temps got fag ash in her eye...
анархия
Top
User avatar
Mrs. Snowey
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 998
Joined: 12 Mar 2004, 14:43
Location: going nowhere. Fast.

I think I only got sent because :

a) I jumped up and down to go on it (not for any altruistic motive, just to put something new on me CV and to make them spend some money)

b) the nearest first-aider to our department is the Plant Manager. Sounds good, unless you also know his idea of treating a foreign object in someone's eye is to get a teaspoon... :roll: :eek: Plus the fact no-one can ever find him.
smiscandlon wrote:And they recently got rid of the accident books as it was argued that they were actually a breach of the Data Protection Act i.e. confidential personal information (such as Employee X caught his todger in his trouser zip) shouldn't be publicly available for other colleagues to look / laugh at.
Don't Channel 5 do programmes like that all the time? :wink:
Why do keyboards get so dirty?
Top
User avatar
smiscandlon
Overbomber
Posts: 2595
Joined: 05 Feb 2004, 23:52

Mrs. Snowey wrote:I jumped up and down to go on it, not for any altruistic motive, just to put something new on me CV
Snap!
анархия
Top
User avatar
Mrs. Snowey
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 998
Joined: 12 Mar 2004, 14:43
Location: going nowhere. Fast.

smiscandlon wrote:
Mrs. Snowey wrote:I jumped up and down to go on it, not for any altruistic motive, just to put something new on me CV
Snap!
:lol: :innocent: :lol:
Why do keyboards get so dirty?
Top
User avatar
Ian - Rhythm Smurph
Utterly Bastard Smurph
Posts: 171
Joined: 16 Sep 2002, 01:00
Location: Huddersfield
Contact:
Contact Ian - Rhythm Smurph

They asked me to do that at work a couple of years back- when I checked up I found out that the company refused to insure me for any 'accidents' that my first aiding may cause, so I told them to bollox.
Now, the people I worked with were not a litigious lot but you never know, and I didn't see why I should be open to being sued for all I was worth!

Its a real shame - if everyone knew a bit of first aid it could be of real benefit to society!

Good on ya for getting qualified Mrs. Snowey!
Top
User avatar
Gripper
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 774
Joined: 24 Apr 2003, 01:17
Location: Zap City
Contact:
Contact Gripper

Those of us who work in schools know that there's really only one item of first aid equipment that works every time....











a damp paper towel.
My car's faster than your mum, but not as dirty.
Top
User avatar
Loki
God of Mischief and Discord
Posts: 2351
Joined: 14 Jul 2003, 14:25
Location: Ragnarök

Congrats Heather. I think QB should make you HLs official first aider and your post rank should reflect your achievement ... 8) :innocent:
Loki was never worshiped as the other Gods,
Which is quite understandable.
Top
User avatar
Chairman Bux
shut.the.fuck.up
Posts: 931
Joined: 23 May 2002, 01:00
Location: Buxville-on-Sea
Contact:
Contact Chairman Bux

It's a feminist issue.
Minister of Misinformation and Misdirection.

We first met through a shared view
She loved me and I did too
Top
Post Reply

Return to “General Chat”