1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 Tbsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
1 bottle vodka
2 cups dried fruit
Directions:
Sample vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill ok.
Try another cup .... just in case, and turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the dried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a sh*t.
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Place the smixture into a sorcerpan - that's like a phlyingpan with higher sidesss - turn the sorcerpan 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the vodka.
CHERRY MISTMAS!
Cheers Hazel 'hic'
