For young people/People who still think they're young.

[Brideoffrankenstein]

time to introduce you all to Playground Law

nice one

[Andrew S]

My sister had one about a hole in the bottom of the sea that went on for anything up to four weeks at a time
I used to give up and go to sleep, and the next morning, she was still there, still singing that bloody song
i dunno if it was taught to her or if she made it up sometimes, i wake up and I think I can hear it.... from far away... getting closer....

It was a regular tune on Playschool and was performed by Johhny Ball and a few others no doubt. In fact, I'm sure they once made a hole out of tissue paper and Plasticine to illustrate the damn song...

[Andie]

possibly the best footy song book ever s**t Ground No Fans

[emilystrange]

surely you don't mean the classic:-

how many times have you had it off in an english country - garden
i've had it twice and its very very nice, in an english country - garden

with daffodils and hollyhock sticking up your................


i think thats the one yeah?

Actually no - the version we sang was even more puerile:
"What do you do if you ne-ed the loo
In an English country Ga-ar-den?
You pull down your pants and suffocate the ants..." etc. etc. etc.
(or the alternative:
"You pull down your pants and fertilise the plants..." etc. etc. etc.)

I can't really claim either is a classic.

The Darkness have a new song called that. perhaps i should study the lyrics more carefully.

[Dan]

/me arrives late in another thread.

First the worst
second the best
Third the hairy princess
Fouth the golden Eagle
Fifth the shepherds pie???

I've heard of it but ours only did the first three lines. I feel deprived.

But then again...

Ibble obble black bobble, ibble obble out

Ours had an extra line...

Ibble obble black bobble, ibble obble out
If you want a chocolate bottle please step out

...so that makes up for it.

[James Blast]

depraved, I'd say

[Thea]

My sister had one about a hole in the bottom of the sea that went on for anything up to four weeks at a time
I used to give up and go to sleep, and the next morning, she was still there, still singing that bloody song
i dunno if it was taught to her or if she made it up sometimes, i wake up and I think I can hear it.... from far away... getting closer....

It was a regular tune on Playschool and was performed by Johhny Ball and a few others no doubt. In fact, I'm sure they once made a hole out of tissue paper and Plasticine to illustrate the damn song...

Did their version go on for multiple weeks at a time too?

[Andrew S]

Did their version go on for multiple weeks at a time too?

Not non-stop but the amount of times they did it ensured it was never forgotten. A frined's sister made up her own neverending ditty to torture him with:
"....and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck and the needle stuck........" and so on.

[markfiend]

Our version of "English Country Garden" was something like this:

"How many crows can you pick from your nose
In an English country garden?
I picked five and they all came alive
In an English country garden."

There was probably more, but I forget.

[Mrs RicheyJames]

Ass hole
Ass hole
A solider I will be

To p*ss
To p*ss
Two pistols on my knee

Fu*k you
Fu*k you
For curiosity

I'll fight for my cu*t
I'll fight for my cu*t
I'll fight for my country.

?????

No??

Ok.....

[markfiend]

No that one does ring a bell actually.

Anyone remember the "Shine up your buttons with Brasso" song?

*Edit: Found it:

My Daddy's a lavatory cleaner,
He works down a deep sewage pit,
And when he comes home in the evening,
His hands are all covered in...

Chorus:

Shine up your buttons with Brasso,
It's only two-fifty a tin,
You can buy it or nick it from Woolys
But I doubt if they have any in.

Some say that he died of pneumonia
Some say that he died of a fit,
But I know what my Daddy died of,
He died of the smell of the...
(repeat Chorus)

Some say he is buried in gravel,
Some say he is buried in grit,
But I know what my Dad is buried in,
He's buried in two tons of...
(repeat Chorus)

[Mrs RicheyJames]

Never heard of it...


Found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut yesterday??....................

[emilystrange]

'i had a small meatbaaaaall, all covered in cheeeeeese...'

[markfiend]

Where'd you find it, where'd you find it, where'd you find it, yesterday?....



Oh and that Law of the Playground site is excellent!

[Francis]

Oh and...

Ip dip dip
My blue ship
Sails on the water
Like a cup and saucer
Ip dip dip
Spells you.

Or for us simple Wiltshire yokels:

Ip dip bird s**t
You are not it

[Debaser]

Tis 'dog s**t' here in the potato fields of Lincolnshire

[markfiend]

Yeah it was dogsh*t in Greater Manchester too.

[CellThree]

Yeah it was dogsh*t in Greater Manchester too.

It's always s**t in Greater Manchester.

[Mrs RicheyJames]

very good!!

[Dark]

I remember that rhyme used for EVERY decision. Ultra-boring after a day of it. But I'm always bored here In The Flat Field(s) of Lincolnshire..

[markfiend]

Yeah it was dogsh*t in Greater Manchester too.

It's always s**t in Greater Manchester.

I moved to Leeds didn't I?

[Quiff Boy]

Yeah it was dogsh*t in Greater Manchester too.

It's always s**t in Greater Manchester.

I moved to Leeds didn't I?

likewise

[CellThree]

It's always s**t in Greater Manchester.

I moved to Leeds didn't I?

likewise

Only difference I can see is that it gets colder in Leeds