In Touch With My Feminine Self

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Johnny M
A Very Nice Man
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Joined: 03 Jun 2005, 12:08
Location: Immer mit Loki.

Having embraced my new Bridget Jones status and lifestyle, I find I have become a domestic God. Cooking, cleaning, washing. You name it, I can do it. Tonight I’ve successfully taken another step towards domestic nirvana by burning myself with the iron. I now have one of those two inch burn marks on the inside of my left forearm so favoured by the female species. Naturally as soon as the accident happened my maternal pragmatism automatically kicked in and I remained calm and collected. After ensuring that the iron was safely secured and no further danger to my person, I snapped a leaf off the Aloe Vera plant growing in a pot on the kitchen window sill. As any woman knows, the medicinal qualities of the natural gel inside the leaf help to relieve the pain, fight infection and more importantly, prevent scarring. My estrogen levels are rising.
[size=9:7c190484cc]Johnny Boy - JB - Loki - Johnny M

Heartland 14 Jul 03 - 05 Aug 06.[/size:7c190484cc]
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Delilah
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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Johnny M wrote:Tonight I’ve successfully taken another step towards domestic nirvana by burning myself with the iron.
Poor you :( I have a cure for such accidents - I simply don't do ironing!
BTW, I miss our late night conversations... :x So if yougave a break in you domestic duties, you know where to find me :wink: 8)
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Black Alice
Emotional Vampyre
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Joined: 12 Apr 2005, 17:40
Location: Newcastle

:lol: :lol: :lol:


You'll be having mood swings; asking if your "bum looks big in these jeans" and demanding chocolate with every meal next :lol:
I never talk during music, at least during good music. If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation.
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Brideoffrankenstein
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I don't think I have ever ironed anything ever 8)
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timsinister
The Oncoming Storm
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I never thought I'd say this, but...I think I miss Loki.
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Black Alice
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Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them :eek: - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice :lol: :lol: :lol:
I never talk during music, at least during good music. If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation.
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timsinister
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Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them :eek: - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice :lol: :lol: :lol:
Darwinism in action.
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Black Alice
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timsinister wrote:
Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them :eek: - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice :lol: :lol: :lol:
Darwinism in action.
I think those were (almost if not exactly) Paul's words :lol:
I never talk during music, at least during good music. If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation.
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Johnny M
A Very Nice Man
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Joined: 03 Jun 2005, 12:08
Location: Immer mit Loki.

Delilah wrote:
Johnny M wrote:Tonight I’ve successfully taken another step towards domestic nirvana by burning myself with the iron.
Poor you :( I have a cure for such accidents - I simply don't do ironing!
BTW, I miss our late night conversations... :x So if yougave a break in you domestic duties, you know where to find me :wink: 8)
No worries pal. PM me a 'Hey!' with a time and a day taking N into consideration and it's fine. :wink:

Hell, I'll be totally reckless and leave the hoovering for another night. :innocent:

The Trinity always come first. 8)
[size=9:7c190484cc]Johnny Boy - JB - Loki - Johnny M

Heartland 14 Jul 03 - 05 Aug 06.[/size:7c190484cc]
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Johnny M
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Location: Immer mit Loki.

Black Alice wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:


You'll be having mood swings; asking if your "bum looks big in these jeans" and demanding chocolate with every meal next :lol:
What makes you think I don't? :P
[size=9:7c190484cc]Johnny Boy - JB - Loki - Johnny M

Heartland 14 Jul 03 - 05 Aug 06.[/size:7c190484cc]
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Black Alice
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@nick the stripper - wrong thread - unless you're hiding from lazcorp :lol:
I never talk during music, at least during good music. If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation.
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nick the stripper
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Black Alice wrote:@nick the stripper - wrong thread - unless you're hiding from lazcorp :lol:
:oops: sorry. :lol:
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Johnny M
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Location: Immer mit Loki.

Brideoffrankenstein wrote:I don't think I have ever ironed anything ever 8)
That's because black hides creases. Nigella taught me that one. 8)

Fine, I'll arrange some 'new man in touch with his feminine self' ironing classes. Anyone else ... :?:

:wink:
[size=9:7c190484cc]Johnny Boy - JB - Loki - Johnny M

Heartland 14 Jul 03 - 05 Aug 06.[/size:7c190484cc]
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Johnny M
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Location: Immer mit Loki.

timsinister wrote:I never thought I'd say this, but...I think I miss Loki.
No you don't Tim, simply because he never visited your PM box.

Trust me.
[size=9:7c190484cc]Johnny Boy - JB - Loki - Johnny M

Heartland 14 Jul 03 - 05 Aug 06.[/size:7c190484cc]
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Black Alice
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Johnny M wrote:The Trinity always come first.
:twisted:
Johnny M wrote:What makes you think I don't?
:lol: :notworthy:
nick the stripper wrote: sorry.
No problem - looks like I jumped in a bit quick :lol:
I never talk during music, at least during good music. If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation.
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scotty
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Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them :eek: - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice :lol: :lol: :lol:
do women still iron their hair[head!]or have tongs and things taken over? :?:
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
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Brideoffrankenstein
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Johnny M wrote:
Brideoffrankenstein wrote:I don't think I have ever ironed anything ever 8)
That's because black hides creases. Nigella taught me that one. 8)
fact I actually wear white five days out of seven
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Black Alice
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scotty wrote:
Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them :eek: - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice :lol: :lol: :lol:
do women still iron their hair[head!]or have tongs and things taken over? :?:
they have straighteners now :lol: My Mum said she used to iron her hair (in the '60's) and her hair is as straight as it comes :eek:
I never talk during music, at least during good music. If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation.
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Johnny M
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Location: Immer mit Loki.

Brideoffrankenstein wrote:
Johnny M wrote:
Brideoffrankenstein wrote:I don't think I have ever ironed anything ever 8)
That's because black hides creases. Nigella taught me that one. 8)
fact I actually wear white five days out of seven
Yeh, but that's because you're dealing drugs. :innocent: :lol:

See ... I do pay attention. :wink:
[size=9:7c190484cc]Johnny Boy - JB - Loki - Johnny M

Heartland 14 Jul 03 - 05 Aug 06.[/size:7c190484cc]
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aims
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Am I the only one who read the title as "Touching my Feminine Self"? :innocent:
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Brideoffrankenstein
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Johnny M wrote: Yeh, but that's because you're dealing drugs. :innocent: :lol:
Sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
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Johnny M
A Very Nice Man
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Location: Immer mit Loki.

Motz wrote:Am I the only one who read the title as "Touching my Feminine Self"? :innocent:
Probably yes, because this thread is about estrogen. Not testosterone. Fcuk I'm, good tonight. After a day of sexual innuendo I'm cooking on gas.

Apologises to all you electric cooker people out there but I do agree with Delia. It's all about speed and control. Or as :von: would say, it's all about "speed! speed! speed!" 8)
[size=9:7c190484cc]Johnny Boy - JB - Loki - Johnny M

Heartland 14 Jul 03 - 05 Aug 06.[/size:7c190484cc]
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scotty
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Black Alice wrote:
scotty wrote:
Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them :eek: - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice :lol: :lol: :lol:
do women still iron their hair[head!]or have tongs and things taken over? :?:
they have straighteners now :lol: My Mum said she used to iron her hair (in the '60's) and her hair is as straight as it comes :eek:[/quote
Oh! :oops: ,but i can rember my mates big sis' ironing freshly dyed black hair[circa 83-4] between the front cover of the'edinburgh evening news' and iron board,Mmmmm the smell! :lol:
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
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emilystrange
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wtf?
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
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Johnny M
A Very Nice Man
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Joined: 03 Jun 2005, 12:08
Location: Immer mit Loki.

emilystrange wrote:wtf?
Cheers Jo-Jo,

Another full, complete and well thought out response. :roll:
[size=9:7c190484cc]Johnny Boy - JB - Loki - Johnny M

Heartland 14 Jul 03 - 05 Aug 06.[/size:7c190484cc]
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