Today's Challenge

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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CorpPunk
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**Update**

Had the bachelorette party and bridal shower last weekend. I decided that a lot of the suggestions here weren't believable enough, so at the last moment I told the bride that I'd been kidnapped by the Rat King and that he wouldn't let me go to either party unless he was paid 30 kilos of smoked Gouda. For some reason she thought I was joking, so I paid the ransom myself and attended both shindigs. Two words, my friends: Never again. But at least I have something to remember these festive occasions by, in the form of a great big oozing burn on my left forearm from the marathon baking session I performed to feed 45 people.

To make matters worse, the first thing the bride said to me at the bridal shower was, "You look thinner." Thinner? Here I've been eating everything in sight in an attempt to gain three stone by October so I can't fit into any of my dresses and I can p*ss everyone off, and she thinks I look thinner?! That bitch.
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hallucienate
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CorpPunk wrote:To make matters worse, the first thing the bride said to me at the bridal shower was, "You look thinner." Thinner? Here I've been eating everything in sight in an attempt to gain three stone by October so I can't fit into any of my dresses and I can p*ss everyone off, and she thinks I look thinner?! That bitch.
Don't worry, it's a throw away compliment which can usually be used on any woman in order to score points. It really is utterly meaningless and shouldn't be taken seriously.

There. Feel better?
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CorpPunk
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Are you calling me fat? You bitch.
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James Blast
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I still maintain a good stabbing would have been easier and caused less grief all round
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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hallucienate
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CorpPunk wrote:Are you calling me fat? You bitch.
No, if I was gonna call you fat I would've said "Hey! Lard Arse!! I see operation cheese burger was a complete success!"

As you can see I didn't say this at all.
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CorpPunk
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@ James: Now that I've been through it I completely agree with you.

@ Hal: :lol: :notworthy:
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boudicca
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James Blast wrote:I still maintain a good stabbing would have been easier and caused less grief all round
That's the Weegie's way oot! ;D :innocent:
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
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James Blast
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boudicca wrote:That's the Weegie's way oot! ;D :innocent:
and your point caller...?
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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