Elderly Ba$tard Groovy moment

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
User avatar
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21181
Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:

So I've just been looking for my car keys.

Markfiend thinks: I'll just put this down to look in my jacket pockets.

The this I put down?

My car keys. :urff:
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
User avatar
Johnny M
A Very Nice Man
Posts: 1837
Joined: 03 Jun 2005, 12:08
Location: Immer mit Loki.

My classic is hunting high and low thinking 'where's my shades? where's my shades?' getting more and more frustrated. :x

Until I pass a mirror, glance and then realise I've been wearing them for the past three hours. :urff:

A constant cross to bear for the indoor/night-time shade wearer. :von:
[size=9:7c190484cc]Johnny Boy - JB - Loki - Johnny M

Heartland 14 Jul 03 - 05 Aug 06.[/size:7c190484cc]
User avatar
Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
Posts: 8844
Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Long Dark Forties
Contact:

I once asked my girlfriend if she had seen my girlfriend around somewhere.

I kid you not.

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

and was she your girlfriend much longer?
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
_emma_
Overbomber
Posts: 2014
Joined: 24 Oct 2003, 10:19

Where's that green emoticon sheding tears of laughter and banging his little fist?
Well, I once tried to open the fridge with my office keys, and I felt slightly annoyed seeing that there's no lock on the door to put the keys in.
Some time later I tried to open the lift doors with the same keys.
User avatar
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21181
Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:

_emma_ wrote:Where's that green emoticon sheding tears of laughter and banging his little fist?
Image
That one? ;)
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
Dark
Underneath the Rock
Posts: 6605
Joined: 27 Oct 2004, 21:26
Location: People's Republic of Glasgow
Contact:

I've seen him on DeviantART too. Maybe he's a laughing artist?
User avatar
Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
Posts: 8844
Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Long Dark Forties
Contact:

Image

Or this one?

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
_emma_
Overbomber
Posts: 2014
Joined: 24 Oct 2003, 10:19

markfiend wrote:
_emma_ wrote:Where's that green emoticon sheding tears of laughter and banging his little fist?
Image
That one? ;)
Yes, exactly. :lol:
User avatar
boudicca
Sister Midnight
Posts: 7427
Joined: 15 Sep 2004, 16:15
Location: embrace the margin
Contact:

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:I once asked my girlfriend if she had seen my girlfriend around somewhere.

I kid you not.
Ah, but was it age or drink to blame...? :lol:
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
User avatar
BillyBadBreaks
Fat Forgetful Bastard
Posts: 1466
Joined: 17 Sep 2004, 20:57
Location: Was the UK, but now Columbus, Ohio

At work we each have a magnetic pass to get in certain rooms for security reasons. I cannot tell you the number of times I reach for my pass to go in the bathroom (one of the few rooms where they haven't yet installed a detector)! :?
You still think swastikas look cool
The real nazis run your schools
They're coaches, businessmen and cops
In a real fourth reich you'll be the first to go
User avatar
Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
Posts: 8844
Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Long Dark Forties
Contact:

boudicca wrote:
Izzy HaveMercy wrote:I once asked my girlfriend if she had seen my girlfriend around somewhere.

I kid you not.
Ah, but was it age or drink to blame...? :lol:
Momentary insanity was to blame, I guess ;)

IIRC it was somewhere in a sauna complex where swimsuits were not allowed.

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
User avatar
boudicca
Sister Midnight
Posts: 7427
Joined: 15 Sep 2004, 16:15
Location: embrace the margin
Contact:

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:IIRC it was somewhere in a sauna complex where swimsuits were not allowed.
Fuckin' :eek: !!!

The plot thickens! :lol:
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
User avatar
culprit
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 580
Joined: 07 Jan 2005, 23:26
Location: durham, england

I can't blame age for this one...

When I was 17 and in my first car, I picked my girlfriend up and stopped at the petrol station. As I got out I said 'I'm just going to put £5 in!' [which was alot in those days, honest!].
I went to the fuel cap, removed it, slid 5 one pound coins in, got back in the car, drove off, and enquired 'What?' at the vacant expression on her face.

Then, it dawned :|
...mmmmmmmmmMMMMMM!....
User avatar
timsinister
The Oncoming Storm
Posts: 4571
Joined: 04 Jan 2005, 17:08
Location: Newcastle
Contact:

Nothing exploded then, culprit?
User avatar
eastmidswhizzkid
Faster Than The Light Of Speed
Posts: 9874
Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
Location: WhizzWorld
Contact:

having run out of fags one morning and having no time to buy any on the way to work,i smoked the last half of a spliff from the night before whilst running to work.
in a complete daze i sat down and started to check a file of work that i thought had been done by a girl i was training.looking through it i saw it hadn't even been started.it was only then i realised not only was this not her work,but i wasn't even sat at my own desk.in fact i had got out of the lift on the wrong floor,and gone to my old desk where i had worked before moving to staff training. :oops:
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"

:bat:
User avatar
Brideoffrankenstein
Overbomber
Posts: 2883
Joined: 15 Jan 2004, 01:51

I have put shopping that was supposed to go into the freezer in the cooker, only to find it all defrosted several hours later :?
"I know, I'll just cook that pizza for tea - argh!" :lol: :oops:
User avatar
Obviousman
Outside the Simian Flock
Posts: 7090
Joined: 22 Aug 2004, 12:14
Location: Soon over Babaluma
Contact:

I often stand up to do stuff (eg. getting something out of the fridge), but when I stand up, I've completely forgotten what I was standing up for, though only 5 seconds before I was thinking 'I have to go and do ... ' :eek:

Very enervating :roll:
Styles are a lie.

My Facebook/My Flickr
User avatar
boudicca
Sister Midnight
Posts: 7427
Joined: 15 Sep 2004, 16:15
Location: embrace the margin
Contact:

My mother calls them "CRAFT" moments...

As in, Can't Remember A Fucking Thing

:lol: :notworthy: :lol: :notworthy: :lol: :notworthy: :lol:

And I seem to be having more and more of them... :|





Edit... ooh, look how I got round the sweary-filter! :twisted: :innocent: Quiff!
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
aims
Overbomber
Posts: 3211
Joined: 27 Mar 2005, 13:16
Location: in between

Obviousman wrote:I often stand up to do stuff (eg. getting something out of the fridge), but when I stand up, I've completely forgotten what I was standing up for, though only 5 seconds before I was thinking 'I have to go and do ... ' :eek:

Very enervating :roll:
I do that. Am I old now? :(
User avatar
Ocean Moves
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 584
Joined: 08 Nov 2004, 19:22
Location: Australia

ok. I was in the pub the other week.
someone said "so what did you do last weekend"

had a complete CRAFT moment. very embarrising.

anyone else get that
(specifically when in a pub at the end of a long week?)
User avatar
culprit
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 580
Joined: 07 Jan 2005, 23:26
Location: durham, england

timsinister wrote:Nothing exploded then, culprit?
The only things exploding were the brain cells, Tim :D
Actually, that must have been the start of it, mmm. :wink:
...mmmmmmmmmMMMMMM!....
User avatar
Mrs RicheyJames
Overbomber
Posts: 4128
Joined: 10 Feb 2003, 00:33
Location: Rick Astley's house. Trying to find out why he chooses to look like Timsinister.

I've never done anything stupid.....................


Stop fecking laughing.
Only a paand.
User avatar
Obviousman
Outside the Simian Flock
Posts: 7090
Joined: 22 Aug 2004, 12:14
Location: Soon over Babaluma
Contact:

Motz wrote:
Obviousman wrote:I often stand up to do stuff (eg. getting something out of the fridge), but when I stand up, I've completely forgotten what I was standing up for, though only 5 seconds before I was thinking 'I have to go and do ... ' :eek:

Very enervating :roll:
I do that. Am I old now? :(
I don't know, I'm only 21 myself, so :D

Yesterday I had another good one of those, by the way... While going to the bathroom before going to bed, all of a sudden I realised I had bought shaving foam in the morning and did not put it away yet...

I went all over the place and did not find it anywhere, then when I passed through the bathroom door for the third time (and actually had already given up) I noticed it standing there, at the exact place where I started thinking about it :eek:

I hope things do not get worse :lol: :urff:
Styles are a lie.

My Facebook/My Flickr
User avatar
Debaser
Overbomber
Posts: 4660
Joined: 30 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Lincoln. UK

What was the question?
Five cups of coffee just to be myself...when I'd rather be somebody else
Post Reply