Radio news informs me that more and more people are pulling sick days, with crazy excuses up to and including deaths in the family, and burglaries.
Obviously, I've never needed to take a day off, as I don't do any work when I'm here. Have you ever fabricated a transparent fallacy to bunk off? Do you approve of this workshy attitude? Can I have a slice of toast?
Won't make it in today...
- timsinister
- The Oncoming Storm
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- Slight Overbomber
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Since I'm a cronic malingerer, I've used every excuse under the sun... I'll get back to you when I can think of an example.
Last edited by nick the stripper on 23 Sep 2005, 09:03, edited 1 time in total.
- smiscandlon
- Overbomber
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I actually have an excellent attendance record.
But my timekeeping is another matter entirely, so I'm more likely to be heard making excuses for being late in the morning (you can only get away with blaming public transport so many times).
But my timekeeping is another matter entirely, so I'm more likely to be heard making excuses for being late in the morning (you can only get away with blaming public transport so many times).
анархия
- timsinister
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That's exactly it, smis! You need to start becoming ridiculously extravagant, like the bus turned into a giant meringue or you got kidnapped by Chechnyan seperatists, or had to fight off hordes of mutant Simon Cowells, decrying your ability to sing whilst simultaneously trying to eat the flesh from your living bones...
I'm pretty sure that's the one that got me fired, actually.
I'm pretty sure that's the one that got me fired, actually.
- boudicca
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But all those things have actually happened to you in reality, haven't they?timsinister wrote:That's exactly it, smis! You need to start becoming ridiculously extravagant, like the bus turned into a giant meringue or you got kidnapped by Chechnyan seperatists, or had to fight off hordes of mutant Simon Cowells, decrying your ability to sing whilst simultaneously trying to eat the flesh from your living bones...
Poor Timmy.
Now, what's all this about you not doing any work...?
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
I average 1 or 2 days a year and am starting to think I'm missing out. Like smiscandlon though my timekeeping's abysmal, I mentally balance the two out and don't get over excited if I'm a bit late.
Let's face it - if you're going to be 10 minutes late you might as well make it half an hour and have a cup of tea and some toast.
Let's face it - if you're going to be 10 minutes late you might as well make it half an hour and have a cup of tea and some toast.
Chucking another log on
- timsinister
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The most exciting excuse I ever had was being trapped in my parent's town by a massive snowstorm. There were six foot drifts over the entire bus station, and the bastard's still didn't believe me.
Boudicca, I prioritise my work. One document, one visit to Heartland, one phone-call, one visit to Livejournal, one bit of filing, one visit to Hotmail...
Boudicca, I prioritise my work. One document, one visit to Heartland, one phone-call, one visit to Livejournal, one bit of filing, one visit to Hotmail...
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- Black, black, black & even blacker
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the trouble with that thinking is: the bradford factor isn't just how many people live in some ghetto, it's also, the formal version of the 'mental balancing act'ruffers wrote:I average 1 or 2 days a year and am starting to think I'm missing out. Like smiscandlon though my timekeeping's abysmal, I mentally balance the two out and don't get over excited if I'm a bit late.
Let's face it - if you're going to be 10 minutes late you might as well make it half an hour and have a cup of tea and some toast.
http://www.incomesdata.co.uk/studies/bradford.htm
Goths have feelings too
- Ozpat
- From the Lowlands
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A few months ago I had a party and did not feel like working the day after so I called work to say I had a flu. I stayed home for a couple of days and started working again. After a couple of weeks I had a real flu. My boss said there might be someting wrong with my imune system.
"as we walk on the floodland"
Why not just ring in and be honest enough to tell the truth and take it as holiday. Or, better yet, why not book the days off in advance knowing you're having the party. Or even better, why not bear in mind you're working the next day and behave as such?Ozpat wrote:A few months ago I had a party and did not feel like working the day after so I called work to say I had a flu. I stayed home for a couple of days and started working again. After a couple of weeks I had a real flu. My boss said there might be someting wrong with my imune system.
Chucking another log on
- Ozpat
- From the Lowlands
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Let's say I learned my lesson well.ruffers wrote:Why not just ring in and be honest enough to tell the truth and take it as holiday. Or, better yet, why not book the days off in advance knowing you're having the party. Or even better, why not bear in mind you're working the next day and behave as such?Ozpat wrote:A few months ago I had a party and did not feel like working the day after so I called work to say I had a flu. I stayed home for a couple of days and started working again. After a couple of weeks I had a real flu. My boss said there might be someting wrong with my imune system.
A bit of a problem is that I cannot get a day off when I call in the morning. It has to be booked in advance. So I should have done that as you mention as well.
Behave as such? Well sometimes this just doesn't work.
"as we walk on the floodland"
- timsinister
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I like the word bastard. It applies to a lot of people whose heritage I would question.boudicca wrote:YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!!!!timsinister wrote:bastard's
Where's Ems, she'll sort you out...
ONE phone-call? AYE RIGHT I'LL BE SHINING!!
And that's one phonecall to the business, not one phonecall to you.
I once managed a glorious 3-day skive, claiming it was food poisoning after the works Christmas night out. The beauty of it was I found out afterwards that a fellow employee actually did get ill after ordering the same dish as I had, so nobody questionned the story. I took a quite a few sickies at that job and I really should have just got my arse out of bed and into work instead. A lame excuse I know but, if I'd just taken holidays rather than sickies, I wouldn't have been able to make most of the 2003 tour damnit!
Everyone is entitled to a week on the sick,fact!!!.
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
- boudicca
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You imbecile! I'm talking about your SHOCKING overuse of apostrophes. We have been here before, need I remind you!timsinister wrote:I like the word bastard. It applies to a lot of people whose heritage I would question.boudicca wrote:YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!!!!timsinister wrote:bastard's
Where's Ems, she'll sort you out...
ONE phone-call? AYE RIGHT I'LL BE SHINING!!
And that's one phonecall to the business, not one phonecall to you.
So the work/leisure phonecall ratio stands at about 1:50, correct? I can't believe you've lasted more than a day in that place!
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
- canon docre
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I tried to bring in a suddenly sick aunt, when I wanted to attend the Celebrity Plane Crash shenanigans this year.
Obviously it didn't work out.
Obviously it didn't work out.
Put their heads on f*cking pikes in front of the venue for all I care.
- Brideoffrankenstein
- Overbomber
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I couldn't make it to work once as I was still in London hungover after a manic weekend of clubbing and gigging
I also managed a two day skive this year (to go clubbing and gigging ) saying I had "women's problems" - always works with a male boss)
I also managed a two day skive this year (to go clubbing and gigging ) saying I had "women's problems" - always works with a male boss)
- Obviousman
- Outside the Simian Flock
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The day I had to go for my driver's licence I didn't go to school on the excuse of having been sick in the morning... We have a good doctor here
Oh, and exams started just the day after... Still, that time I did pass
Oh, and exams started just the day after... Still, that time I did pass
How terribly grown upruffers wrote:Why not just ring in and be honest enough to tell the truth and take it as holiday. Or, better yet, why not book the days off in advance knowing you're having the party. Or even better, why not bear in mind you're working the next day and behave as such?
- boudicca
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Oh yes, that one never fails.Brideoffrankenstein wrote:I also managed a two day skive this year (to go clubbing and gigging ) saying I had "women's problems" - always works with a male boss)
And the look of "aaaaarrrrrggghhh!" on his face is always priceless as well...
"Oh sure, go, go. Take all the time you need, a day, a week... just don't talk to me about women's things!!!!"
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
- emilystrange
- Above the Chemist
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having a day out with Mr S.boudicca wrote:YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!!!!timsinister wrote:bastard's
Where's Ems, she'll sort you out...
ONE phone-call? AYE RIGHT I'LL BE SHINING!!
tim.. i'm still watching you
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
- eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
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when i worked for the Land Registry my sick record was appalling.i had something like three times as many self-certified sick days as was necessary to incur a disciplinary.
however you could have up to two years sick in any four year period if you had a doctor's certificate,on full pay!.so every few months i'ld trot along to the quack's and say i was feeling very depressed over the death of my father (who'ld been dead for a good six years) and get signed off for a month. full pay,an excuse to be seen out and about because it's not a physical illness,and nobody says a dickiebird when you go back 'cause it's depression.
however you could have up to two years sick in any four year period if you had a doctor's certificate,on full pay!.so every few months i'ld trot along to the quack's and say i was feeling very depressed over the death of my father (who'ld been dead for a good six years) and get signed off for a month. full pay,an excuse to be seen out and about because it's not a physical illness,and nobody says a dickiebird when you go back 'cause it's depression.
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"