Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
A Church of England bishop has delivered a provocative Christmas message by claiming the Three Wise Men were part of an assassination plot.
The Bishop of Lichfield, the Rt Rev Keith Sutton also pours scorn on the "sentimental" and "false" images in nativity plays and Christmas cards.
He criticises the portrayal of the shepherds, who were on "the fringes of society", as loveable characters, according to the Daily Telegraph.
In an email sent to the media, Bishop Sutton says Mary and Joseph were forced to flee "as refugees seeking asylum in Egypt".
He also thinks the wise men were "on a m*****n of Herod to discover the whereabouts of the baby Jesus so that he could be killed", the newspaper said.
Ridiculing the "superficial sentimental Christmas of the pop songs", the bishop asks: "How many of us really feel like that at Christmas?
"If we are brutally honest, Christmas is probably a real chore. For some it is more than a chore - it is the most painful time of the year."
Urging people to think of the lonely, he says: "For love to be real, it is not the thought that counts but what you do about it."
The bishop, who is known for his strong views on issues such as the treatment of asylum-seekers in the UK, is a strong believer in the physical resurrection of Christ.
In the past the 67-year-old, who is due to retire at Easter, has criticised arms exports to Indonesia and Zimbabwe.
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
> One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready
> for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
>
> Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys
> as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of
> being behind schedule.
>
> Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit.
> This stressed Santa even more.
>
> When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
> about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven
knows
> where. More stress.
>
> Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the
toy
> bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went
> into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey.
>
> When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the
> liquor and there was nothing to drink.
>
> In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke
> into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
>
> He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was
> made from.
>
> Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.
>
> He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas
> tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it
> just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely
> tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"
>
> Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
"You do realize you're talking to a man with a human head in his hands who has every intention of using it to beat these people to death?"
Good times come to me now 
