http://www.absolution-online.com/confessional/
Takes a while but now you can find out what you need to do to redeem yourself!!
I've been very naughty and need to do the following:
1311 Hail Marys
57 Our Fathers
and an 8 Week fast!!
Repent!
- Gottdammerung
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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- Obviousman
- Outside the Simian Flock
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Only 548 Hail Marys and 19 Our Fathers.
And I have to fast for two weeks...
Not that much, is it
I'll go and chat with God about it
And I have to fast for two weeks...
Not that much, is it
I'll go and chat with God about it
- Ozpat
- From the Lowlands
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Please say hello to Him from me Z. I have been chatting with Him quite a bit the last few days. He should know me by now.Obviousman wrote: I'll go and chat with God about it
"as we walk on the floodland"
- boudicca
- Sister Midnight
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Recite 3205 Hail Marys and 179 Our Fathers.
I s**t you not! I'm evil, I tells ya!
And what do you suppose a 23-WEEK FAST would do to someone who weighs less than 7 stone?
Haven't been to confession since I was 12. That's 10 years of good sinnin' .
I've bloody no intention of going now!
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
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- Slight Overbomber
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Repenting is for the week.May the Almighty God have mercy on you, and forgiving your sins, bring you to life everlasting. Amen.
May the Almighty and Merciful God grant you pardon, absolution, and remission of your sins.
Venial Sins
Recite 2266 Hail Marys and 73 Our Fathers.
Mortal Sins
Consider the implications of what you have done. You must take all steps possible to undo what has been done, and make right what you have done wrong.
You should fast for a total of 7 weeks. If this is too much to do at once due to the length of the fast, or infirmity, it is acceptable to break a fast into smaller sections. If you are unsure how long it is safe to fast for, consult a doctor.
If your sin also broke the law of the land in which you live, you must confess to the authorities.
I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
May the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the merits of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the Saints, what good you have done or what evil you have suffered be to you for the remission of your sins, growth in grace and the reward of everlasting life. Amen.
- eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
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8 weeks on the fast stuff; 1,987 hairy marys (a good year 1987) ; and 52 daughters of the revolution.....or something like that.
and people really do believe this s**t - off they go and spill their guts out to some sweaty little bloke in a dress, who's cracking one off behind the screen, convinced that this makes it all better so they can commit exactly the same "sins" the next week.
the romans had the right idea: lion -food.
and people really do believe this s**t - off they go and spill their guts out to some sweaty little bloke in a dress, who's cracking one off behind the screen, convinced that this makes it all better so they can commit exactly the same "sins" the next week.
the romans had the right idea: lion -food.
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
- Mrs. Snowey
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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You know, that doesn't sound a million miles away from Jerry Springer, p'raps someone should tell CVeastmidswhizzkid wrote: and people really do believe this s**t - off they go and spill their guts out to some sweaty little bloke in a dress, who's cracking one off behind the screen, convinced that this makes it all better so they can commit exactly the same "sins" the next week.
Why do keyboards get so dirty?
- boudicca
- Sister Midnight
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Thanks!Zuma wrote:Pizza is on me Claire
I think coveting your pizza might have been one of my sins...
But there's something f**ked up here. I am never more evil than Lee. I can't have done this right...
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
Are you a "Prodie" then EMWK, I can just see the next avitar, the head and star adorned in Red White and Blue hat and scarf with "Sisters 1690" written under iteastmidswhizzkid wrote:8 weeks on the fast stuff; 1,987 hairy marys (a good year 1987) ; and 52 daughters of the revolution.....or something like that.
and people really do believe this s**t - off they go and spill their guts out to some sweaty little bloke in a dress, who's cracking one off behind the screen, convinced that this makes it all better so they can commit exactly the same "sins" the next week.
the romans had the right idea: lion -food.
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
- Izzy HaveMercy
- The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
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Recite 1042 Hail Marys and 66 Our Fathers.
You should fast for a total of 11 weeks.
NO s**t!
They think I've got nothing better to do or what???
Cripes...
IZ.
You should fast for a total of 11 weeks.
NO s**t!
They think I've got nothing better to do or what???
Cripes...
IZ.
It was not coveting anyway, it was shared amongst friends, so certainly not a sin...boudicca wrote:Thanks!Zuma wrote:Pizza is on me Claire
I think coveting your pizza might have been one of my sins...
But there's something f**ked up here. I am never more evil than Lee. I can't have done this right...
- boudicca
- Sister Midnight
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Yeh, but the thing is, if you hadn't offered it freely, I'd have nicked it anyway .Zuma wrote: It was not coveting anyway, it was shared amongst friends, so certainly not a sin...
(And Indrek would probably have started knawing on the edge of the table)...
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
You & Indrek were perched on the end of the table like a couple of Craws eyeing up Zumas pizza like it was a fresh cadaver you'd just flew overboudicca wrote:Yeh, but the thing is, if you hadn't offered it freely, I'd have nicked it anyway .Zuma wrote: It was not coveting anyway, it was shared amongst friends, so certainly not a sin...
(And Indrek would probably have started knawing on the edge of the table)
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
- eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
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naah, it's only in our little celtic colonies where you have to be signed up to one lot of god-botherers or the other - for life,regardless of whether you believe or not.scotty wrote:Are you a "Prodie" then EMWK, I can just see the next avitar, the head and star adorned in Red White and Blue hat and scarf with "Sisters 1690" written under iteastmidswhizzkid wrote:8 weeks on the fast stuff; 1,987 hairy marys (a good year 1987) ; and 52 daughters of the revolution.....or something like that.
and people really do believe this s**t - off they go and spill their guts out to some sweaty little bloke in a dress, who's cracking one off behind the screen, convinced that this makes it all better so they can commit exactly the same "sins" the next week.
the romans had the right idea: lion -food.
i did actually go to a CofE primary school, but anglicanism being such a wishy washy faith i managed to realise that it was a load of bollocks without being loaded down with any guilt.
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
Ok, being nice gets ye nowhere around hereboudicca wrote:Yeh, but the thing is, if you hadn't offered it freely, I'd have nicked it anyway .Zuma wrote: It was not coveting anyway, it was shared amongst friends, so certainly not a sin...
(And Indrek would probably have started knawing on the edge of the table)...