Worst Christmas Gifts

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
User avatar
canon docre
Overbomber
Posts: 2529
Joined: 05 Mar 2005, 21:10
Location: Mother Prussia

I got mine already! :P
A friend of mine was giving me a Barbara Streisand record full with Christmas songs. :urff: :urff:
What was she thinking about me? I'm a bit concerned. :?

Who else got offending gifts for Christmas?
Put their heads on f*cking pikes in front of the venue for all I care.
User avatar
Thea
Overbomber
Posts: 2346
Joined: 13 Feb 2003, 12:29
Location: Aboard me ship....
Contact:

My mother bought me a coffee maker thing last year. Not a great gift for someone who doesn't like coffee :|
User avatar
Karst
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1452
Joined: 04 Nov 2002, 00:00
Location: Belfast

You might have guests.
User avatar
Francis
Overbomber
Posts: 2621
Joined: 02 Jul 2004, 16:58
Location: Loose shoes...

canon docre wrote:What was she thinking about me?
La Streisand is a class act. :wink:
And you know that she's half crazy but that's why you want to be there.
User avatar
Zuma
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1831
Joined: 24 Jan 2003, 00:36

canon docre wrote:I got mine already! :P
A friend of mine was giving me a Barbara Streisand record full with Christmas songs. :urff: :urff:
What was she thinking about me? I'm a bit concerned. :?

Who else got offending gifts for Christmas?
Have you tried playing it backwards? :lol:
User avatar
Brideoffrankenstein
Overbomber
Posts: 2883
Joined: 15 Jan 2004, 01:51

When I was about 13 my grandparents who I haven't seen for about 20 years bought me a paisley dress with a paper doily collar on. My wonderful mother made me wear it infront of the christmas tree whilst she took a photo so they could think "that you wore it on christmas day" :evil:

On my mothers part though she did let me take it off straightaway and we took it back to the shop and got a credit note! :lol: :notworthy:
User avatar
MrChris
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1409
Joined: 21 May 2003, 11:34
Location: A Forest

I was hoping for a tamagochi for Christmas, and all I got was a Middle Eastern bloke sacrificing himself to cleanse my sins. I ask you!
Chris

---------------------------------------------
Again and again and again...
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

my mother made me wear pink gauze fairy wings that came from my new angelina ballerina christmas special... last year.
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
User avatar
Ed Rhombus
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1328
Joined: 10 May 2002, 01:00
Location: West Yorkshire
Contact:

I'd like the Babs and Barry album

Mister Gibb knows how to put together a big production ballad
Ed Rhombus

There for you (weather permiting)

www.rhombus-rock.com
https://www.facebook.com/rhombus.uk
User avatar
Lynchfanatic
Fire Walking Owl
Posts: 575
Joined: 05 Mar 2003, 04:50
Location: Black lodge
Contact:

I havent opened it yet, but I have a present from my grandparents (sheep farmers from way up north norway) waiting for me, and its soft :urff: Last I got from them was a pizza cutter though, they probably thought they had stumbeled on to something new, lol.
myspace.com/lynchfanatic
User avatar
lazarus corporation
Lord Protector
Posts: 3428
Joined: 09 May 2004, 17:42
Location: out there on a darkened road
Contact:

Lynchfanatic wrote:I havent opened it yet, but I have a present from my grandparents (sheep farmers from way up north norway) waiting for me, and its soft :urff: Last I got from them was a pizza cutter though, they probably thought they had stumbeled on to something new, lol.
Lynchfanatic wrote:...sheep farmers...
Lynchfanatic wrote:...it's soft...
another jumper? :lol:
User avatar
Lynchfanatic
Fire Walking Owl
Posts: 575
Joined: 05 Mar 2003, 04:50
Location: Black lodge
Contact:

lazarus corporation wrote:
Lynchfanatic wrote:I havent opened it yet, but I have a present from my grandparents (sheep farmers from way up north norway) waiting for me, and its soft :urff: Last I got from them was a pizza cutter though, they probably thought they had stumbeled on to something new, lol.
Lynchfanatic wrote:...sheep farmers...
Lynchfanatic wrote:...it's soft...
another jumper? :lol:
Oh god I hope not.... :urff: Probably is though, and if it is, I am 99% sure this is what it will look like..........

Image
myspace.com/lynchfanatic
User avatar
boudicca
Sister Midnight
Posts: 7427
Joined: 15 Sep 2004, 16:15
Location: embrace the margin
Contact:

lazarus corporation wrote:
Lynchfanatic wrote:I havent opened it yet, but I have a present from my grandparents (sheep farmers from way up north norway) waiting for me, and its soft
another jumper? :lol:
Maybe it's a little sheep. :D

This thread makes me realise actually, I've been remarkably lucky pressie-wise.

There was the one time my mum bought me a Crowded House CD, of all things (I was about 12 or 13 I think)... it had been advertised on the telly and I just casually said I liked one of their songs - and I mean casually! - but because SHE liked them herself she went and bought it.
Actually now it comes flooding back, like repressed memory syndrome or something... she got me a Simply Red CD as well! :eek: :lol: :eek: :lol:

I made her take them back to the shop - that's quite evil isn't it? But she did the same to me when I got her a jumper and a bathrobe she didn't like. Bitch! :lol:
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
User avatar
Lynchfanatic
Fire Walking Owl
Posts: 575
Joined: 05 Mar 2003, 04:50
Location: Black lodge
Contact:

boudicca wrote:
lazarus corporation wrote:
Lynchfanatic wrote:I havent opened it yet, but I have a present from my grandparents (sheep farmers from way up north norway) waiting for me, and its soft
another jumper? :lol:
Maybe it's a little sheep. :D
Awww, maybe its the lamb they "gave" me when I was a kid, they said I could call it mine. It was a black one :wink: Im pretty sure they ate it, maybe they saved the woll? (was gonna say somthing else, but thats just too nasty)
myspace.com/lynchfanatic
User avatar
Ozpat
From the Lowlands
Posts: 6758
Joined: 16 Aug 2005, 13:14
Location: In the place through which we wander.

d00mw0lf wrote:My mother bought me a coffee maker thing last year. Not a great gift for someone who doesn't like coffee :|
So I guess she went to a shop on a certain day before X mas. Thinking of you and a present to buy and she goes into this one shop and sees this coffee thingy and thinks.....this is it!!!!!

:notworthy: :lol: :notworthy: :lol:
"as we walk on the floodland"
User avatar
canon docre
Overbomber
Posts: 2529
Joined: 05 Mar 2005, 21:10
Location: Mother Prussia

Francis wrote:
canon docre wrote:What was she thinking about me?
La Streisand is a class act. :wink:
From the distance - yes.
Put their heads on f*cking pikes in front of the venue for all I care.
User avatar
Delilah
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 819
Joined: 30 Apr 2003, 14:45

Lynchfanatic wrote: way up north norway)
Trondheim?Lofoten? I wanna move there! Or to Sweden. Still cannot decide ;-)
BTW, worst Xm-ASS present was a new violin when I was about 9-10 yearsa old and when all I could think about was how to get out of my (forced) violin lesson! :lol:
User avatar
Brideoffrankenstein
Overbomber
Posts: 2883
Joined: 15 Jan 2004, 01:51

Delilah wrote:worst Xm-ASS present was a new violin when I was about 9-10 yearsa old and when all I could think about was how to get out of my (forced) violin lesson! :lol:
Strangely the best Christmas present I ever received was a musical instrument (flute) and lessons although I was initially gutted because I had originally really wanted an oboe or a saxophone.
aims
Overbomber
Posts: 3211
Joined: 27 Mar 2005, 13:16
Location: in between

Apparently one of my classmates would have cried if he got some of my presents. Then again, he's not a fiddly techy geek. Today I helped my mother choose me a maths textbook to put under the tree...but I'm just weird ;D

I guess worst is in the eye of the beholder.
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

motz, i am SERIOUSLY worried now
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
User avatar
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21181
Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:

I got a bottle of shampoo one year. That was odd. I spent all day wondering whether my mum was trying to tell me something or if it was just a weird joke. Image
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
User avatar
Céleste
Road Kill
Posts: 12
Joined: 19 Dec 2005, 17:17
Location: Germany
Contact:

f**k christmas!

who needs that economy-powering consumption days????
don't reap the grapes of wasteland
User avatar
boudicca
Sister Midnight
Posts: 7427
Joined: 15 Sep 2004, 16:15
Location: embrace the margin
Contact:

Céleste wrote:f**k christmas!

who needs that economy-powering consumption days????
Santa? The man's gotta earn a living somehow, and work's a bit thin on the ground up in Lapland, I imagine...
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
User avatar
Obviousman
Outside the Simian Flock
Posts: 7090
Joined: 22 Aug 2004, 12:14
Location: Soon over Babaluma
Contact:

boudicca wrote:
Céleste wrote:f**k christmas!

who needs that economy-powering consumption days????
Santa? The man's gotta earn a living somehow, and work's a bit thin on the ground up in Lapland, I imagine...
Why can't he go work for nokia or so :lol:

Can't really thing of a terrible thing I ever got for Christmas, but plenty of years to go to get crap gifts :lol:

One of the worst things ever given to me was a projection clock, with big clear orange letters for the time on it, and it projected the same... If there's one thing I can't stand when I'm trying to sleep it's anything that makes light :urff: :lol: (plus it was oversized and nearly took all of my bed-side table :roll: )
Styles are a lie.

My Facebook/My Flickr
User avatar
Brideoffrankenstein
Overbomber
Posts: 2883
Joined: 15 Jan 2004, 01:51

Obviousman wrote:One of the worst things ever given to me was a projection clock, with big clear orange letters for the time on it, and it projected the same... If there's one thing I can't stand when I'm trying to sleep it's anything that makes light :urff: :lol: (plus it was oversized and nearly took all of my bed-side table :roll: )
But it was orange - I would have thought you would have loved it! :wink:
Post Reply