The Return of the Heartland
- vicus
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
- Posts: 995
- Joined: 21 Apr 2002, 01:00
- Location: behind the door
- Contact:
Great to see Heartland coming back to life
"Am Anfang wurde das Universum erschaffen.
Das machte viele Leute sehr wütend und wurde allenthalben als Schritt in die falsche Richtung angesehen."
http://www.poison-door.net/
Das machte viele Leute sehr wütend und wurde allenthalben als Schritt in die falsche Richtung angesehen."
http://www.poison-door.net/
- MadameButterfly
- HL's mystical safekeeper
- Posts: 6938
- Joined: 12 Jul 2005, 09:29
- Location: in my own galaxy
Indeed, I thought I was caught in a bad trip.
it's all about circles and spirals
that ongoing eternity
that ongoing eternity
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- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
- Posts: 662
- Joined: 31 Jan 2002, 00:00
- Location: East Yorkshire
Hello, hello, it's good to be back.
Give me one good reason
- canon docre
- Overbomber
- Posts: 2529
- Joined: 05 Mar 2005, 21:10
- Location: Mother Prussia
so typical. Once in a year, when I lie in bed with fever and every reading apart from HL would be too intellectual challenging, it closes its doors.
Put their heads on f*cking pikes in front of the venue for all I care.
- Obviousman
- Outside the Simian Flock
- Posts: 7090
- Joined: 22 Aug 2004, 12:14
- Location: Soon over Babaluma
- Contact:
Glad it's back
Hard times it were, as my other favourite forum was closed down as well
But now we can all sit back and relax again
Hard times it were, as my other favourite forum was closed down as well
But now we can all sit back and relax again
- eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
- Posts: 9822
- Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
- Location: WhizzWorld
- Contact:
thank fook for that -lack of heartland has resulted in me having to spend today laying a vinyl-tiled floor (lino to you) in our hall, bathroom and bog.
's good to be back!
indeed.
's good to be back!
indeed.
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
- streamline
- Slight Overbomber
- Posts: 1664
- Joined: 26 Oct 2005, 09:09
- Location: Right Next Door To Hell...
No HL meant having to do work at work (Yuk!)
and having to get pissed with the missus last night ( )
So, not all bad!!!
FYI May well get pissed again tonight to celebrate HL's return. Now that is what I call a plan
and having to get pissed with the missus last night ( )
So, not all bad!!!
FYI May well get pissed again tonight to celebrate HL's return. Now that is what I call a plan
________________________________________
I trust you trust in me to mistrust you
I trust you trust in me to mistrust you
- Obviousman
- Outside the Simian Flock
- Posts: 7090
- Joined: 22 Aug 2004, 12:14
- Location: Soon over Babaluma
- Contact:
That's the spiritstreamline wrote:FYI May well get pissed again tonight to celebrate HL's return. Now that is what I call a plan
- markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
- Posts: 21181
- Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
- Location: st custards
- Contact:
Ayestreamline wrote:No HL meant having to do work at work (Yuk!)
A graph of my productivity today:
Code: Select all
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The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
- andymackem
- Slight Overbomber
- Posts: 1191
- Joined: 17 Dec 2003, 10:11
- Location: Darkest Durham
Found this explanation on-line.
mediaresource.net wrote: Productivity levels hit a record high in several offices today due to a mysterious computer bug.
The sharp surge in efficiency was put down to the collapse of the pernicious "Heartland", a virtual location famed for its destructive impact on professional and social lives.
A wave of redundancies is due to follow in the coming weeks after large numbers of work-shy skivers - spread all over the UK, Europe and even as far away as Australia - unwisely drew attention to themselves by doing some work in the office.
Bosses united as one: "We didn't even notice we were employing this lot until they pulled their fingers out.
"We know we can manage without their efforts - let's face it, we have done for years in some cases - so we will be introducing practical economies at the earliest available opportunity."
There was relief later in the day when Heartland finally returned to life and productivity returned to normal levels.
"The extra energy expended by staff actually doing their jobs across the country was draining the National Grid," admitted a red-faced official.
"We're only used to the low-lying hum of a PC, not actual work being done."
In a delicious irony, electricity to continue to power the computers which run Heartland was imported from France, a nation long scorned by the mysterious 'Von', leader of the cult.
This follows an unexpected rapprochement which will see this seldom-sighted creature make a public appearance in Paris this spring. With all the cliches that should inspire.
Names are just a souvenir ...
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
- James Blast
- Banned
- Posts: 24699
- Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
- Location: back from some place else
@andymackem
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
~ Peter Steele
- Obviousman
- Outside the Simian Flock
- Posts: 7090
- Joined: 22 Aug 2004, 12:14
- Location: Soon over Babaluma
- Contact:
Wot James said
- canon docre
- Overbomber
- Posts: 2529
- Joined: 05 Mar 2005, 21:10
- Location: Mother Prussia
thank you andymackem. chills of laughter made quite a nice change to chills by ague.
Put their heads on f*cking pikes in front of the venue for all I care.
- streamline
- Slight Overbomber
- Posts: 1664
- Joined: 26 Oct 2005, 09:09
- Location: Right Next Door To Hell...
________________________________________
I trust you trust in me to mistrust you
I trust you trust in me to mistrust you
- emilystrange
- Above the Chemist
- Posts: 9031
- Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
- Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.
i too was unaware of the tragedy unfolding
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
Oh my God Em's it was horrible, I was lost, I started speaking to Mags, I picked up and started to read a Book, I got up of my erse and made a cup of tea for us both , thank fcuk things are back to normal nowemilystrange wrote:i too was unaware of the tragedy unfolding
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
- James Blast
- Banned
- Posts: 24699
- Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
- Location: back from some place else
see my post on the Ghost Dance forumscotty wrote:Oh my God Em's it was horrible, I was lost, I started speaking to Mags, I picked up and started to read a Book, I got up of my erse and made a cup of tea for us both , thank fcuk things are back to normal now
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
~ Peter Steele
- emilystrange
- Above the Chemist
- Posts: 9031
- Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
- Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.
*smacks boys*
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
- James Blast
- Banned
- Posts: 24699
- Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
- Location: back from some place else
thank you Miss
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
~ Peter Steele
- Planet Dave
- Underneath the Rock
- Posts: 6684
- Joined: 22 Apr 2003, 23:51
- Location: Where the streets fold round
Good bloody job I'd swallowed the mouthful of beer before I read that.
Very good Mr Mackem. You should write for Viz.
Very good Mr Mackem. You should write for Viz.
'Fragged another moaning sh1tbag'