Mon 17 Feb - First Day of me half term holidays...

[Debaser]

This is a genuine psychological test.
It is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she
met
this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much
the dream guy she was searching for that she fell in love with him right
then and there but never asked for his name or number and afterward could
not find anyone who knew who he was. A few days later the girl killed her
own sister. Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? Give this
some thought for a while before you scroll down. DON'T CHEAT!

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Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in this test and answered it correctly. If you didn't answer correctly - good for you. If your friends hit the jackpot, may I suggest that you keep your distance. (If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my e-mail list......unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you from now on.... )

Not really a joke....but just watch what you say to me huh??


Debaser

[Quiff Boy]

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[Quiff Boy]

[hallucienate]

I had read this one before and still got it wrong. Guess I'd make a useless serial killer.

[Quiff Boy]

a footy joke, courtesy of the stag-meister:

Liverpool have signed a new centre forward from Kabul United FC.

Apparently on his first day at training, Houllier picked up a ball and said: "Ball."

Then he pointed at the goal and said: "Goal." Then he demonstrated a kicking motion and said: "Kick. Understand? Kick, ball, goal. GOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL!"

The Afghan striker was a little puzzled by this and summed up the courage to say: "Excuse me, Mr. Houllier, but I speak very good English."

To which Houllier repies: "Sit down, son. I'm talking to Heskey!"

[nearmethexperience]

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to
absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the
boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have
children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the
crap out of an electronic device to get it to work
again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the
requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

[Quiff Boy]

"PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE"



i LIVE percussive maintenance!

[nearmethexperience]

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

this happens to me about 4 times an hour, or is that thinking about sex, generally amounts to the same thing in my book

[Quiff Boy]

another one from the stagg-meister:

A gentleman had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face.

"Sir," she said, "the ladies restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savouring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Three white buttons were identified by the letters: WW, WA, and PP, and there was one red button labeled ATR. Who would really know if he touched them?

He couldn't just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the WW button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The Men's restroom didn't have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the WA Button. Warm Air replaced the warm water, wafted, and swirled about, gently drying his underside.

He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure. The ladies room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit.

When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy!

He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. "What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies restroom!"

"You pushed too many buttons", replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin.

"That last button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.

Your penis is under your pillow."

[Andy TG]

"PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE"



i LIVE percussive maintenance!

So this how you get "MyHeartland" to work ! I was wondering
@QB Only Joking!