ooo

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
User avatar
Norman Hunter
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1870
Joined: 29 Sep 2004, 12:41
Location: Leeds
Contact:

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:
boudicca wrote:Anyone with an ounce of imagination could think up all sorts of filthy things to do with a bottle of Diet Coke... :roll: :innocent:
'Drinking it', for one :urff:

IZ.
Has it got to be Diet?
User avatar
Badlander
Overbomber
Posts: 3566
Joined: 16 Feb 2006, 20:17
Location: At the Edge of the Deep Green Sea

canon docre wrote:I thought sex toys are for people who have given up going to bars since a long time?

@timsinister: what exactly is a vaux vibrator? I thought a vibrator is already a vaux dick? Or was it vice versa?
Maybe it's just a vibrator that doesn't work. Otherwise I'm confused.
Image
I'd end this moment to be with you
Through morphic oceans I'd lay here with you
User avatar
davedecay
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 527
Joined: 23 Feb 2006, 22:54
Location: PA, USA

EvilBastard wrote:
Badlander wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:I have to admit to being troubled by a product that proclaims itself thus:

"This surgical steel plunger with increasing width and rippled surface is perfect for deep anal or vaginal explorations don't forget your miner's hat!"

Miner's hat?? :eek:
Image
Ok, I get that the miner's hat keeps one from getting conked on the head - but what does this have to do with vaginal or anal exploration, unless the object is very small or the subject is very large. Still confused... :roll:

a miner's hat has a LIGHT on it, silly! otherwise it'd just be 'helmet' instead.
User avatar
DerekR
Doobie Brother
Posts: 1860
Joined: 17 Apr 2003, 17:55
Location: lost

Debaser wrote:Last Christmas (2004ish)we bought a vibrator and an inflatable sheep from a pub in the Bail in Lincoln.

Come to think of it, we've still got the sheep somewhere....
I don't wanna ask about what happened to the vibrator! :eek: :lol:
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3934
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

davedecay wrote:a miner's hat has a LIGHT on it, silly! otherwise it'd just be 'helmet' instead.
Silly me - I was getting confused with a wizard's hat, which I understand has a knob on the end...so you can see how the two might get mixed up... :lol:
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
User avatar
Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
Posts: 8844
Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Long Dark Forties
Contact:

EvilBastard wrote:Silly me - I was getting confused with a wizard's hat, which I understand has a knob on the end...so you can see how the two might get mixed up... :lol:
That will be: "AIIIIEEEEEEEEE Wizard's STAFF has a knobbun'the end, knobbun'the end , knobbun'the end " ;D

Ook approved ;)

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
User avatar
timsinister
The Oncoming Storm
Posts: 4571
Joined: 04 Jan 2005, 17:08
Location: Newcastle
Contact:

Badlander wrote:
canon docre wrote:4
@timsinister: what exactly is a vaux vibrator? I thought a vibrator is already a vaux dick? Or was it vice versa?
Maybe it's just a vibrator that doesn't work. Otherwise I'm confused.
Image
It's a step down even from vibrators, like on a sliding scale?

Christ, I swore I'd never have this conversation again.

:roll: :P
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3934
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:That will be: "AIIIIEEEEEEEEE Wizard's STAFF has a knobbun'the end, knobbun'the end , knobbun'the end " ;D

Ook approved ;)

IZ.
Thanks, Nanny - one signed copy of The Joy of Snacks coming your way :lol:
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
User avatar
Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
Posts: 8844
Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Long Dark Forties
Contact:

EvilBastard wrote:
Izzy HaveMercy wrote:That will be: "AIIIIEEEEEEEEE Wizard's STAFF has a knobbun'the end, knobbun'the end , knobbun'the end " ;D

Ook approved ;)

IZ.
Thanks, Nanny - one signed copy of The Joy of Snacks coming your way :lol:
Cor! Just my luck! ;D

Swap you for a Nanny Ogg Cookbook? It has the Bananana Daiquiri recipe :)

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
User avatar
MadameButterfly
HL's mystical safekeeper
Posts: 6940
Joined: 12 Jul 2005, 09:29
Location: in my own galaxy

emilystrange wrote::eek:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky
you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...
it's all about circles and spirals
that ongoing eternity
User avatar
Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
Posts: 8844
Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Long Dark Forties
Contact:

MadameButterfly wrote:
emilystrange wrote::eek:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky
you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...
Suggestions needed? ;D

And/or earplugs? ;)

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
User avatar
eastmidswhizzkid
Faster Than The Light Of Speed
Posts: 9881
Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
Location: WhizzWorld
Contact:

MadameButterfly wrote:
emilystrange wrote::eek:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky
you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...
if i was a woman i'd have a set of chinese love-balls discretely onboard at all times -people notice us men if we walk around playing pocket hockey all day. :innocent:
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"

:bat:
User avatar
MadameButterfly
HL's mystical safekeeper
Posts: 6940
Joined: 12 Jul 2005, 09:29
Location: in my own galaxy

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:
MadameButterfly wrote:
emilystrange wrote::eek:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky
you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...
Suggestions needed? ;D


IZ.
ooo...suggestions? sure! let's see what you come up with...

;D
it's all about circles and spirals
that ongoing eternity
User avatar
MadameButterfly
HL's mystical safekeeper
Posts: 6940
Joined: 12 Jul 2005, 09:29
Location: in my own galaxy

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:
MadameButterfly wrote:
emilystrange wrote::eek:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky
you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...
if i was a woman i'd have a set of chinese love-balls discretely onboard at all times -people notice us men if we walk around playing pocket hockey all day. :innocent:
if you were a woman, could you walk in heels? could you dance in heels?
:innocent:
it's all about circles and spirals
that ongoing eternity
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

it wouldn't be any good in class!!! aaaghh the thought
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

I'm a good Catholic boy, so I have no idea what you're all on about... :innocent:
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
User avatar
boudicca
Sister Midnight
Posts: 7427
Joined: 15 Sep 2004, 16:15
Location: embrace the margin
Contact:

MadameButterfly wrote:
eastmidswhizzkid wrote: if i was a woman i'd have a set of chinese love-balls discretely onboard at all times -people notice us men if we walk around playing pocket hockey all day. :innocent:
if you were a woman, could you walk in heels? could you dance in heels?
:innocent:
Oh but come on Debs, we are lucky in that respect ;D :innocent: .
Being saved from moments of horrendous embarrassment more than makes up for the old visits from "the painters and decorators" IMHO. :wink:
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

James Blast wrote:I'm a good Catholic boy, so I have no idea what you're all on about... :innocent:
substitute 'girl' for 'boy' in that, and there i am
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
User avatar
Mickpit
Road Kill
Posts: 86
Joined: 17 Mar 2006, 17:34
Location: that London

So the target market is people who will use a vending machine placed on the wall in the middle of the bar, BUT maybe too embarrassed to go into a sex shop!!!
I'm not young enough to know everything
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

people will do anything when they're pissed. we should be glad there wasn't on in the george in Bloktober, or johnny's story would have been very different.
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
User avatar
Mickpit
Road Kill
Posts: 86
Joined: 17 Mar 2006, 17:34
Location: that London

i suppose it makes more sense than getting pissed and going into a sex shop
I'm not young enough to know everything
User avatar
MadameButterfly
HL's mystical safekeeper
Posts: 6940
Joined: 12 Jul 2005, 09:29
Location: in my own galaxy

CarpetKisser;-) wrote:i suppose it makes more sense than getting pissed and going into a sex shop
ooo...that doesn't sound like a good idea to me.
it's all about circles and spirals
that ongoing eternity
User avatar
Mickpit
Road Kill
Posts: 86
Joined: 17 Mar 2006, 17:34
Location: that London

Perhaps sex shops should introduce bars / coffee etc for those embarrassed people. "Ooo, i'm thirsty, i'll just pop into BondageBucks for a large one and a muffin"
I'm not young enough to know everything
User avatar
MadameButterfly
HL's mystical safekeeper
Posts: 6940
Joined: 12 Jul 2005, 09:29
Location: in my own galaxy

CarpetKisser;-) wrote:Perhaps sex shops should introduce bars / coffee etc for those embarrassed people. "Ooo, i'm thirsty, i'll just pop into BondageBucks for a large one and a muffin"
:eek: What is a muffin where you come from?
it's all about circles and spirals
that ongoing eternity
User avatar
6FeetOver
Childlike Empress
Posts: 7683
Joined: 25 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: way on down south, New London town...
Contact:

ROFLMAO! :twisted: :notworthy: :von:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
Post Reply