one liner comedy sideshow

[Karst]

On the top of my head.

'This is an experiment' before doing Confide in Me (Rendsburg '96)

'Yes, that actually is my guitar' (Dublin '97) when Varjak holds up his guitar to give it to Von. Weird gig that was - loads of banter with some people on the leftside of the stage.

'It's damn weird being a support band'

'This one for the guy who looks like Ruger Hauer and by now traditional every girl with blond hair'

'A day at the beach - I had a great time, I don't care about you, I had a great time!

'Enjoy the Puppet show'

London '93? support Depeche mode.

There must be more but I have to get the disc's out.

[Big Si]

(York Racecourse Festival 1984)

"Are you wanting the words as well?"

after Craig's Amp broke down during the intro to Alice


(Long Beach California USA 1985)

"This is just a banana republic, I wanna go home!"

[Black Dahlia]

Astoria 2001 (first night)

"Welcome to London Fashion Week....."

[Dan]

Manchester Gallery 27.3.83 (before Adrenochrome) "Yesterdays was for Norman Whiteside, This one's for Uncle Ron... poor bastard."

Boscombe Academy 29.4.83 (before Jolene) "We are not the Sisters of Mersey" (before Floorshow) "I'm sorry about this, but it's nothing to do with us".

Lyceum 31.10.84 (Emma) "This was written by a bald man" (Gimme Shelter) "This was written by a bald man as well".

Drogheda, The Boxing Club 20.10.90 (before Temple Of Love) "Thanks...This is a song we haven't played before, so...just er...I'm sure you'll bear with us." (before Gimme Shelter) "I'm sure there's at least one hippy out there. This one's for you."

Wembley Arena 24.11.90 (before Valentine) " Thank you...we're not quite happening here but you'll forgive us for the bits which are unassailably wonderful." (before Something Fast) "Thanks...I'd like to just say at this point that we don't really do enigmatic...but maybe...maybe two more songs might help to confuse you." (Before Vision Thing) "Anybody here from Cleveland...well you are now."

Wembley Arena 26.11.90 (before Valentine) "Thank you. That particularly includes the half of you from Leeds by the way. Valentine." (before Marian, a false start of Gimme Shelter) "Not yet flower children...not for another few years ago...well guessed." (before 1969) "Thankyou...Same as it ever was."

Leeds University 16.2.91 (before Burn) "I hope you all have somewhere to stay tonight, I know I don't". (before Gimme Shelter) "I remember when this stage was big." (before Flood II) "Is my nose still bleeding."

Leeds Polytechnic 17.2.91 (before Jolene) "Who wasn't here yesterday...(Takes off shades)...nearly human".

Gent, 16.5.91 (at the end of the gig after the last song) "...even you. All the ugly people in the balcony. All the SERIOUSLY UGLY people in the balcony. All the ugliest people I've even SEEN in the balcony. Yes Yes Yes YES YES YES YES."

Loreley 20.6.92 (during Vision Thing he changed a lyric, in reference to the Gulf war) "A little more mad in the Desert Zone."

Dark Harvest Festival, Philadelphia, Electric Factory, 28.6.97 (before Summer) "This is from our next album `Butt F**k Parlour Time'"

[Quiff Boy]

21.03.85 - king george's hall, blackburn

- before body & soul:
"dont worry, we aint gonna take it out on you because the rest of blackburn didn't turn up"

- after train:
"...for those of us that cant be with us today"

- before marian
"its time for... <mumble>"

- before no time to cry (in response to loads of shouting from audience):
"come on... one at a time! you in the yellow flares, right?"
<woman in crowd with bradford accent: "he was really fat... <mumble>...was just so pi**ed! oooooh!">

- after burn:
"uh-huh. calm down. cam down. haha."

- before emma:
"listen. we don't know those songs anymore. no really. we forgot 'em......this is called..."

[Black Dahlia]

The Forum - Good Friday 2003

" Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, I'm most disappointed in our government ........."

[hallucienate]

1998-07-04 Tankhaus Festival

Before Numb/SKOS:
"This one is called Vindaloo..."

[Lucretia's Reflection]

if someone else said this one sorry. dont remember the venue but I can get it:

before on the wire

"One day when this is a civilized europian city,we will be, we will be pleased to play here, until such a time we will walk the line"

[Angelchild]

"there's a bus goes now from outside you'd be advised...."

One of my favourites..just before the fab but all too short version of "Stairway To Heaven"

[VonOben]

"Ok, Swedes, this is it..." before Gimme, gimme, gimme.

[timsinister]

Good thread!

One that just popped into my head, Brixton '97...

"Oh bloody hell...Mike, get your arse on stage!"

I'll have to check the CD to find anymore and what song that came before and between. I'd love to have seen what was going on!

[Pat]

Another from Long Beach California 1985.
"Some people ask us why we are so gloomy.....no seriously they do...
..well we're not..it's only when we play here ,now excuse me I have to hit someone".

Always worth a chuckle.

[aims]

Tilburg 2005 [In no particular order]
"Oh you are nice...you're not THAT nice"
"Meanwhile, back in space..."
"Guru, where's my cloud?"
[Before Temple Of Love] "And in the place, through which we wander..."
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Chris Catalyst, the man who eats Daleks!"
[Before I Was Wrong] "Shut. the. f**k. up."
"It's your choice..."

[Obviousman]

"Guru, where's my cloud?"

Have been wondering what that one was...

Thought it was 'Dude where's my crowd'

[Ozpat]

In St. Vith I'm almost sure that at a certain point AE said: "You're insane"

[eastmidswhizzkid]

rockcity '84:

(after drum-machine fucks up)
"we have to attend to our machinery.."

<gets heckled and loses temper>

"listen you can get these songs the wrong way and you can get these songs the right way: if you wait ten minutes we'll get them the right way so i suggest you shut up for a while and talk amongst yourselves!"

***

"the right hand is a horrible thing to lose,my friend...i suggest you retract yours"

***

"i'm not anorexic i'm just compact alright, compact."

[Obviousman]

Lokeren:
before romeo down: It ends in tears...
before flood II: We're the sisters of mercy, thank you for coming, thank you for having a good time...

There's some comments in German in Zürich, but my German is not good enough to get those Seem to hear something like 'f**k off' on that one too...

[Quiff Boy]

*bump*

excuse the dodgy dates on the first posts (1970 ) - a lot of the very first dates got mangled during a HL upgrade about 10 years ago

[RockNRoll Mercenary]

'You haven't been rained on enough!'

Before Dominion/Mother Russia at Sonisphere Festival 2011 during which it rained all day.

[DocSommer]

Oh I need to bookmark this - great collection

[centurionofprix]

Ribbons drum intro. "Good evening. Welcome to London Fashion Week."

[mh]

Dublin 97, best one ever, just before Jolene: "...and there I was with my trousers half-down".

Beat that!

[Gripper]

- before marian
"its time for... <mumble>"

...cigarettes."


I've always been pretty sure, anyhoo.