"This is a true story that took place at a hospital not a million miles away from where I live.
A friend works in the A&E department and witnessed the admission of a chap with a vibrator shoved right up his arse. Nothing too unusual there; I daresay the staff acted thoroughly professionally and didnae bat an eyelid.
Unfortunately the vibrator was jammed so firmly up the poor chap's ritter that it had to be surgically removed; obviously a potentially dangerous and delicate operation. Unfortunately there was a significant complication - the vibrator had been switched on before insertion (well naturally) and had remained active even though it had become stuck up the poor chap's rectum.
The surgical staff were loathe to remove it whilst it was switched on but because it was so firmly rammed beyond reach nobody was able to switch it off. There was only one thing for it - everyone simply had to bide their time until the vibrator's batteries ran out. Yes, the poor patient had to lie on a trolley in a cubicle for no less than SIX HOURS just waiting for the vibrator's batteries to run down.
Bet he was glad he hadn't used Duracell... "
, who some of you have met.............aye, the Milky Bar Kid 
, is a Nurse in Edinburgh, he's always telling me stories like that