Happy Christmas

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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robertzombie
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Let me begin the festivities by wishing you all a merry Christmas

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Brideoffrankenstein
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There's still 3 weeks to go!!!!
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Andie
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bah Humbug :notworthy:
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
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scotty
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I'm wi you Andi, ho fuckin' ho ho ho my erse :evil:
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
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Brideoffrankenstein
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My friend Caroline has the right idea this Xmas, instead of all the stress of buying everyone's presents, she is making a donation to Shelter on our behalfs. Seriously thinking about this next year.
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canon docre
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What I hate most with Christmas are these horrible kitschy TV ads. Always these happy families behind a blurry star filter, that gather together in at least 3 generations in front of neatly decorated artificial Christmas trees, marveling about tacky wrapped up prezzies and enjoying an aromatic cup of coffee in their cozy homes.

If there ever was a grinch, it's me.
Put their heads on f*cking pikes in front of the venue for all I care.
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mh
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Brideoffrankenstein wrote:My friend Caroline has the right idea this Xmas, instead of all the stress of buying everyone's presents, she is making a donation to Shelter on our behalfs. Seriously thinking about this next year.
I'm thinking of doing something similar - sending a goat to Africa on their behalf.

It'll look awful under the tree though. Probably eat the bloody thing too.
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
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timsinister
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It's my best friend's birthday on the 25th. We're having a party for that, and then moving on.

:|
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Thea
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I love the Christmas!
BRING IT ON!
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robertzombie
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WHAT A BUNCH OF SCROOGES!
d00mw0lf wrote:I love the Christmas!
BRING IT ON!
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT! ;D
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Badlander
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robertzombie wrote:WHAT A BUNCH OF SCROOGES!
d00mw0lf wrote:I love the Christmas!
BRING IT ON!
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT! ;D
I love Christmas !
What's wrong with that ? :eek: :oops:
I'd end this moment to be with you
Through morphic oceans I'd lay here with you
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Planet Dave
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Christmas is pants. If it wasn't for the look on the boys faces in the morning it'd be way worse.

Still, it's a damn good excuse to go into town and get snadgered. When's the 9th again?
'Fragged another moaning sh1tbag'
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boudicca
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Planet Dave wrote:Still, it's a damn good excuse to go into town and get snadgered. When's the 9th again?
It's on the 9th Dave.
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weebleswobble
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boudicca wrote:
Planet Dave wrote:Still, it's a damn good excuse to go into town and get snadgered. When's the 9th again?
It's on the 9th Dave.
No it's not, it's the day after the 8th :urff:

Some might say it's the day before the 10th, but what do they know :urff: :urff:
‎"We will wear some very loud shirts. We will wear some very wrong trousers."
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nick the stripper
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canon docre wrote:What I hate most with Christmas are these horrible kitschy TV ads. Always these happy families behind a blurry star filter, that gather together in at least 3 generations in front of neatly decorated artificial Christmas trees, marveling about tacky wrapped up prezzies and enjoying an aromatic cup of coffee in their cozy homes.

If there ever was a grinch, it's me.
I agree, they should be much more realistic: a mother has a nervous breakdown and resorts to drinking vodka on the stairs when her Christmas dinner is burned, but that's OK because her son calls in Tescos for a Kebab and Crackers; a man alone goes walking through the streets, looking into windows at all the happy families and then goes to Walmart and buys a rifle to shoot himself; children taken to Woolworths to be bought replacement toys buy their broke mother after their father smashed them all up in a rage because he hates Christmas for that was the day he discovered his mother dead; kids cowering under their bed as their uncle dressed up as Santa Clause tries to tempt them out to give them a "special present"; drunks who always buy their smirnoff from Co-Op die on collision course of Christmas Eve, leaving devistated families to open up their presents one member short in the morning; wives snapping and killing their abusive husbands with irons they bought from Amazon; dirty old men looking at child porn on computers their mothers bought them from PC-World half-priced; Children choking to death on the little toys that come in the crackers their mother bought from Somerfield; Jesus crying because people have forgotten his real birthday and turned the next best thing into a commercialized piece of s**t; homeless people's last Christmas dinner before the cold kills them being the thrown out food in the garbage shoot of McDonalds; Bob Geldolf doing an advert for more money for more Christmas meals for starving Africans, stringing them along to birth future generations of suffering instead of letting them die. Now THAT's the spirit of Christmas: death, hunger, and famine.

E: I must be messed up, because I laughed my ass off writing that. :lol:
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weebleswobble
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I've said it before and I'll say it again, nick you really need to get out more.

Xmas:, James Bond, Morecombe & Wise, presents, Brussel Sprouts (maybe not), presents, booze, food, presents.

Lighten up ya bunch of fekin' goffs :lol:
‎"We will wear some very loud shirts. We will wear some very wrong trousers."
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nick the stripper
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Well what do you know. I got on a roll and wrote more. This is going on all of my Christmas cards:
Television tells children what they want, causing low-income parents to either buy expensive toys or feel like bad parents. Television specials make mothers feel like their family is the only broken family, and try hard to make perfect Christmas to climb up the social-ladder. Society watches the Christmas lights turn on, false smiles hiding troubled minds. People alone with nothing but television for comfort, have companionship during the holidays thrown in their face. Homeless people making their will before the cold snap kills them - my used condom goes to Marge, and my shopping cart goes to my son Adam. Neighbours at war mortgage their house for expensive exterior decorations in the competition of the idiots known as the social-class. Children discover the non-existence of Santa and question parent’s every word. Individual members of society remember past Christmas experience of abuse, death, or molestation. Capitalist rub his hands together, for this is the time to coerce people to buy more junk than they’ll ever need. Pine trees scream in horror as they’re chopped down, decorated, and then thrown away: “You bastard, you use me for a month and then you dump me?� Prostitute eat Christmas meal of office-men cock. Carol-singers shot dead by broken-down man who cannot stand noise: three children dead, one adult wounded. Christians suck Jesus cock for stairway to heaven as kids listen to it on the radio, drunk and driving towards collision course to nothingness. Children awaken to lights - “Is it Santa, mama?� - “No, honey, it was the police… daddy won’t be home for Christmas, he crashed his car and went to heaven.� Ethiopians grimace, knowing fat cats eat great meals at Christmas and send them a bone, stringing them along. Alcoholics and junkies fall off the wagon and decry: nobody loves me. Happy birthday Jesus, from all of your followers: the butchers of Pagan holidays.
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nick the stripper
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weebleswobble wrote:I've said it before and I'll say it again, nick you really need to get out more.
Point taken. :lol:
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weebleswobble
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nick the stripper wrote:
weebleswobble wrote:I've said it before and I'll say it again, nick you really need to get out more.
Point taken. :lol:
and get some proper sleep!!! :wink:
‎"We will wear some very loud shirts. We will wear some very wrong trousers."
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smiscandlon
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timsinister wrote:It's my best friend's birthday on the 25th. We're having a party for that, and then moving on.

:|
Jesus is your best friend?
анархия
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hallucienate
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mh wrote:
Brideoffrankenstein wrote:My friend Caroline has the right idea this Xmas, instead of all the stress of buying everyone's presents, she is making a donation to Shelter on our behalfs. Seriously thinking about this next year.
I'm thinking of doing something similar - sending a goat to Africa on their behalf.

It'll look awful under the tree though. Probably eat the bloody thing too.
Thanks for the kind offer but I hear goat meat is tough and the milk tastes funny. I'd prefer gift vouchers from cdwow.com or amazon. Thanks.
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nick the stripper
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sending a goat to Africa on their behalf.
This is going to sound cruel, but I wish people would stop trying to "help" the Africans. How long have they been in poverty and what are all of these donations doing? Nothing but stringing them along on a thread, so they can have more children to suffer and bring more suffering children into the world. It sounds cruel in the short term, but if you just leave them die off there will be no future generations to be born into starvation.

In fact, personally, I think everyone should stop having children.
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hallucienate
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nick the stripper wrote:
sending a goat to Africa on their behalf.
This is going to sound cruel, but I wish people would stop trying to "help" the Africans. How long have they been in poverty and what are all of these donations doing? Nothing but stringing them along on a thread, so they can have more children to suffer and bring more suffering children into the world. It sounds cruel in the short term, but if you just leave them die off there will be no future generations to be born into starvation.

In fact, personally, I think everyone should stop having children.
That is a stupid thing to say. The money and aid, when landing in the right hands, is helping hugely.

I think it's kinda fair the the west helps repay for the damage they did and are still doing here.
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paint it black
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nick the stripper wrote:
sending a goat to Africa on their behalf.
but stringing them along on a thread,

>>do they have internet overthere, i hear they still live in mud huts because they're too all lazy to make houses. anyway, a virtual goat wouldn't be much good to anyone, save maybe some fetishists, but than i hear that in africa they're too lazy to don rubber suits plus it's getting too warm from western derived global warming. hey ho.


In fact, personally, I think everyone should stop having children.

>>good idea, you start. with ideas like yours, we don't need your gene pool fcUknut
Goths have feelings too
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nick the stripper
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paint it black wrote: >>good idea, you start. with ideas like yours, we don't need your gene pool fcUknut
Yeah, I knew it would get that response. And actually I have chosen a life of abstinence for the very reason that I think it's cruel and selfish to bring a child into this world.
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