A history of the sisters of mercy

[wild bill buttock]

Being as no-one has done an entry for the Girls on Uncyclopedia yet,I thought I'd do one.Being as the only people interested probably already read this forum I opted to post it on here instead.
The sisters of mercy were formed in 1981 when Duran duran guitarist Andrew Taylor grew bored of standing around looking like a girl in expensive promo videos and decided instead to study Manderin oranges at Leeds university.Changing his name to Yvonne Eldritch he teamed up with guitarist Harpo Marx,bass guitarist and author Douglas Adams,Pirate castaway from Treasure island Benn Gunn and a Doctor playing drum machines.The band named themselves after an obscure song by Leonard Rossiter.Together they embarked on an unremarkable early career.
It wasn't until Yvonne suffered a DIY accident with a Black and Dekker workmate leading to the removal of his vocal chords which caused Yvonne to "sing" in a series of sinister burps,did The Sisters career take off.
Realising that having a guitarist marooned thousands of miles away on a desert island wasn't such a good idea after all,they employed ex Dead or Alive banjo-ist and Pete Burn's lipstick technician Wayne Kerr.
With this classic line up they recorded thier first album.Which was nice.Then they had a fight and split up.
Harpo Marx built himself a magic time machine and transported himself back to the 1930's to team up with his Grandfather Groucho,together with his great uncles Karl and Chico they formed The Marx Brothers(and Grandson).
Meanwhile Wayne Kerr and Douglas Adams formed a band calling themselves The Mercyhood.This made Yvonne really cross and he formed a band called The Mercyhood as well and quickly put a record out.Kerr and Adams paid Yvonne lots of money and changed thier name to something else and put an album out called "The Hitchhikers guide to Led Zeppelin".
Yvonne decided to call himself The sisters of Mercy again and together with a mate of that fat bastard Meatloaf,a choir and a bird with big tits made another nice record.
Yvonne then sulked for a couple of years before he turned into Bon Jovi.Most people stopped caring,So Yvonne went to Germany,married a princess and lived happily ever after.Apart from when he gets a tax bill and has to drag himself off to do a tour every few years.
It is important to realise The Sisters of Mercy were not,and never will be,a goth band.They may well have looked,sounded and smelled like goths,but they weren't and thats that.

Discography
1981-84;Some singles no-one,apart from some rather depressed art students in Leeds,bought.
1985;"First and last and all that" album.And some jolly good singles.
1986;"That Wayne,He's a right git" album
1987;"Foodland"album.And some really over the top,but in a good way,singles.
1990;"Slippery when wet thing"album.And some crap singles.
1992;"All the singles no-one bought but pretends they did now they're famous" compilation album.And a single that was really rotten version of one of their best tracks featuring an arab woman screeching *Snigger*.
1994;"All the crap later stuff everyone bought but wishes they hadn't cus the early stuff is much better" compilation album.
1993;single with that bird that used to sing "take my breath away" from that gay film "Top Bum"

[spot778]

It wasn't until Yvonne suffered a DIY accident with a Black and Dekker workmate leading to the removal of his vocal chords which caused Yvonne to "sing" in a series of sinister burps,did The Sisters career take off.

Yvonne that's too funny

[James Blast]

You're far too good for this place bill
although, you did forget to mention that latterly he's taken on board the well known hair-stylist Simone Dee of Mayfair as nurse to Christ Beno's hair and Robo Breezer's sideys

please add your own entries, I'm not up to speed

[mh]

Aw, ya gotta put it on uncyclopedia! Classic stuff!!!

Maybe try belabouring the "not goth" point a bit more though? That's something that could run into paragraphs.

[ormfdmrush]

smelled like goths

are you talking about Von's socks?

[DGP00666]

Best thread in months, genius

What da ya smoke, wild bill buttock? I'd like to try it too.

[wild bill buttock]

First of all I'd like to thank God,my parents.....

When I can be arsed(and finished trying to load this new MP3 player,fukcing stupid thing) I'll try to post that on Uncyclopedia.

@DGP00666;Being the great big goth that I am,I only smoke expensive clove cigarettes hand rolled on the naked thighs of Tibetan maidens (or Golden virginia rollies)

@ormfdmrush;Only if Von was using Patchouli insoles.

[Bartek]

fantatsic

[wild bill buttock]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Sisters_of_mercy

[scotty]

To sum up :

Good

Great

Good

Pish

[Dark]

Well. That looks crap. Even for Uncyclopedia. Sort it.

[wild bill buttock]

Well. That looks crap. Even for Uncyclopedia. Sort it.

Will you stop beating about the bush and tell me what you really think.


That is my real reason for not sticking it on there in the first place-I'm a computer spazz.
If any of you experts want to go on and edit it,to at least make it look respectable,be my guest.

[Dark]

Apologies. Probably doesn't matter really, I tend to avoid Uncyclopedia anyway.

[eotunun]

If I am not wrong Ofra Haza was isreali?

[wild bill buttock]

If I am not wrong Ofra Haza was isreali?

No s**t.
You mean I only got one fact wrong.
So they did name themseves after a song by Leonard Rossiter then.

Here He is seranading his love with that classic tune "ooh Miss Jones you sister of mercy you"

[wild bill buttock]

Thanks to the who-ever it was that edited the Uncyclopedia entry and made it look halfway decent

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Sisters_of_mercy