What the f*** 1s wr0ng w1th 0y 2eyb0ard!

boudicca · 15 Feb 2007, 19:48

the 1etters 0n 0ne s1de are a11 f***ed. what's g01ng 0n

James Blast · 15 Feb 2007, 19:51

the keyboard's fine it's your fingers that have gone wrong

weebleswobble · 15 Feb 2007, 19:57

don't tell me you're bevvied already? lucky be-atch

15 Feb 2007, 20:06

Take your boxing gloves off

eotunun · 15 Feb 2007, 20:17

N0w th@t y0u mâ‚¬nt10n 1t..
$1ightlÂµ 0dd. Wh@t c0uld th@t Ã¾â‚¬?

mh · 15 Feb 2007, 20:40

Or how about...

Get a Mac!

EvilBastard · 15 Feb 2007, 20:46

1. Carefully remove kitten from keyboard and place it in the static-proof bag provided
2. Vacuum yakked-up hairball from between keys
3. Replace kitten

Obviousman · 15 Feb 2007, 20:49

Checked the country settings? Perhaps you've just started to use some odd foreign keyboard

(Control Panel>Country Settings, if my memory serves me well)

Meanwhile, anyone got a clue where |, square brackets and a slash the other way round than this one (/) are to be found when they're not present on the keyboard

Carpathian Psychonaut · 15 Feb 2007, 21:09

Obviousman wrote:Meanwhile, anyone got a clue where |, square brackets and a slash the other way round than this one (/) are to be found when they're not present on the keyboard

Hold down the left side ALT key and type the three digit number on the keypad.
Let go of ALT and hey presto - one character as needed !

[ ALT+091

] ALT+093

\ ALT+092

│ALT+179

lazarus corporation · 15 Feb 2007, 21:11

Carpathian Psychonaut wrote:
Obviousman wrote:Meanwhile, anyone got a clue where |, square brackets and a slash the other way round than this one (/) are to be found when they're not present on the keyboard
Hold down the left side ALT key and type the three digit number on the keypad.
Let go of ALT and hey presto - one character as needed !

[ ALT+091

] ALT+093

\ ALT+092

│ALT+179

Obviousman is using a Belgian "Azerty" keyboard, just to be awkward! I've sent him a PM with some links to instructions for those particular keyboards.

Obviousman · 15 Feb 2007, 21:15

Carpathian Psychonaut wrote:
Obviousman wrote:Meanwhile, anyone got a clue where |, square brackets and a slash the other way round than this one (/) are to be found when they're not present on the keyboard
Hold down the left side ALT key and type the three digit number on the keypad.
Let go of ALT and hey presto - one character as needed !

[ ALT+091

] ALT+093

\ ALT+092

│ALT+179

That's the windows method, but it won't go with a Mac

Paul's just pointed me out how to though, they've just all hid them behind shift-optn combinations on the keyboard

Shift+optn+x for ⁄
shift+optn+( for [ (replace with ) for ] and L for |)

Thanks

lazarus corporation · 15 Feb 2007, 21:18

Cool - that's Z's problem sorted, now let's turn to Claire's:

Claire - first, make sure you've got the long edge of the keyboard facing you, not the short edge.

emilystrange · 15 Feb 2007, 21:21

some people are going to be terribly bruised when clare catches up with them

sultan2075 · 15 Feb 2007, 21:22

I used to have a similar problem on an old Dell laptop. In my case, it was a dirty connection between the actual keyboard cable and the computer--not the one that you plug into the back, but within the board itself. It needed to be re-seated periodically, otherwise I would get the seemingly random keystrokes you're describing. I had to carry a set of tools with me to remove the keyboard and reseat it for a while, since I didn't have an office or computer at work. It was very frustrating. You might be in need of a new keyboard.

canon docre · 15 Feb 2007, 21:47

Don't worry Claire, we eventually get used to it like we always do.

boudicca · 15 Feb 2007, 22:37

emilystrange wrote:some people are going to be terribly bruised when clare catches up with them

darn r1ght!

1ts a 1apt0p, btw.

Carpathian Psychonaut · 15 Feb 2007, 22:56

boudicca wrote:
emilystrange wrote:some people are going to be terribly bruised when clare catches up with them
darn r1ght!

1ts a 1apt0p, btw.

Some laptops have a membrane under the main part of the keyboard so that it can pick up key movement without having to have the full mechanical depth of a standalone keyboard.

If you can remove the keyboard panel (and, of course, it's an important if !) then check something hasn't got in between that and the membrane if there is one.

Just a thought !

smiscandlon · 15 Feb 2007, 23:55

"Have you tried turning it off then back on again?"

sultan2075 · 16 Feb 2007, 02:50

boudicca wrote:
emilystrange wrote:some people are going to be terribly bruised when clare catches up with them
darn r1ght!

1ts a 1apt0p, btw.

Oh, if it's a laptop it's almost certainly the same issue I had. The likely culprit is the ribbon cable connecting the keyboard membrane CP mentioned above to the main board of the laptop. On my laptop, there were a series of screws labeled 'K' on the back, indicating the keyboard. Unscrewing them would disconnect the keyboard mountings, allowing me to pop it out. There would then be two ribbons, thin one and a wide one. The thin one is for the pointer/mouse, and the wide one is for the keyboard itself. Usually, disconnecting and reconnecting the wide ribbon from the main board would do the trick, although cleaning it might help too. After that, it *should* work again. If the laptop is still under warranty, see if you can get it replaced. I eventually got so sick of doing this everytime I needed to type that I bought a $10.00 half-size keyboard to keep in my laptop bag and attach via the usual methods.

Anyway, I hope this helps. It's royal pain in the ass to deal with.

6FeetOver · 16 Feb 2007, 03:33

LOL!

My optical mousie's fux0red, so I feel your pain, sort of.

uli · 16 Feb 2007, 07:34

<lurking = "off">

Hi Claire!

boudicca wrote:the 1etters 0n 0ne s1de are a11 f***ed. what's g01ng 0n

I almost don't dare to write this, but the "one side" thing sounds like you hit the "Num" key. Just hit it again and everything might be sorted. Please don't be offended if I post something totally obvious!

Ciao, Uli.

<lurking = "on">

Planet Dave · 16 Feb 2007, 09:12

smiscandlon wrote:"Have you tried turning it off then back on again?"

Claire, what've I told you about LSD and computers?

smiscandlon · 16 Feb 2007, 10:03

uli wrote:<lurking = "off">

Hi Claire!
boudicca wrote:the 1etters 0n 0ne s1de are a11 f***ed. what's g01ng 0n
I almost don't dare to write this, but the "one side" thing sounds like you hit the "Num" key. Just hit it again and everything might be sorted. Please don't be offended if I post something totally obvious!

Ciao, Uli.

<lurking = "on">

Actually, yeah - I think that sounds most likely. I've accidentally turned on the Number Lock on my laptop a couple of times and it confused the hell out of me.

smiscandlon · 16 Feb 2007, 10:07

Especially as, from her posts, the affected keys appear to be u i o j k l m, tying up with the 'virtual' number pad on the laptop.

Good call, uli the lurker.

Carpathian Psychonaut · 16 Feb 2007, 10:58

I think uli the lurker is uli the solver on this one - I'd completely forgotten about that "virtual" number pad that many portables have - sounds spot on.

{slaps forehead and realises he's forgotten more than he remembers}

All we need now is a perfectly typed post from Claire and we'll know for sure !