Bernard Manning
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Planet Dave
- Underneath the Rock
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I did a right old double take when the news was on - thought they were reliving one of my fave Spitting Image sketches for a minute...
Bernard Manning.....has.....farted. He was 63.
RIP, noxious bloke.
Bernard Manning.....has.....farted. He was 63.
RIP, noxious bloke.
'What a heavy load Einstein must have had. Morons everywhere.'
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James Blast
- Banned
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"There was this Jock, a Paddy and two Black fellas, this Fat Northern Git and uhhhhh........." Thud!
Next!
Next!
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
~ Peter Steele
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Silver_Owl
- The Don
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Good ridance to one of the biggest oxygen thieves ever to tread upon a Northern club stage. What a fcuknut.
The nail in his coffin (pun intended) for me was the documentary of him doing a tour of India. It showed him up to be the pathetic arsewipe he really was.
Apart from that I really liked him.
The nail in his coffin (pun intended) for me was the documentary of him doing a tour of India. It showed him up to be the pathetic arsewipe he really was.
Apart from that I really liked him.
We forgive as we forget
As the day is long.
As the day is long.
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markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
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Bernard Manning joke:
An elderly Yorkshire couple go on holiday to the Costas. It's the first time they've left the country, they're a bit set in their ways, and they don't know whether Bisto will be available in Spain.
"Whate'er tha dus luv, dun't ferget t'Bisto" says the old man.
Now when they arrive in Spain, unpacking at the hotel, and where's the Bisto? Of course it's nowhere to be found.
"Eh up luv, happen t'couple down t'corridor's English, Ah'll ask them."
He knocks on the door, and when it opens, says "Hast tha t'Bisto?"
The other man says, "sorry, I don't speak Spanish."
OK, in Manning's version, the punchline was "F*ck off you Spanish c*nt", but you get the idea.
An elderly Yorkshire couple go on holiday to the Costas. It's the first time they've left the country, they're a bit set in their ways, and they don't know whether Bisto will be available in Spain.
"Whate'er tha dus luv, dun't ferget t'Bisto" says the old man.
Now when they arrive in Spain, unpacking at the hotel, and where's the Bisto? Of course it's nowhere to be found.
"Eh up luv, happen t'couple down t'corridor's English, Ah'll ask them."
He knocks on the door, and when it opens, says "Hast tha t'Bisto?"
The other man says, "sorry, I don't speak Spanish."
OK, in Manning's version, the punchline was "F*ck off you Spanish c*nt", but you get the idea.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
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markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
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Yeah. I know.
Just above, in tiny type, the line at the bottom, I wrote:OK, in Manning's version, the punchline was "F*ck off you Spanish c*nt", but you get the idea.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
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James Blast
- Banned
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- Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
- Location: back from some place else
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
~ Peter Steele
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markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
- Posts: 21181
- Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
- Location: st custards
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Good read that.James Blast wrote: Alexei Sayle: Bernard Manning and the tragedy of comedy
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
He didn't bother me hugely. I found him occasionally funny, which puts him on a far higher plane than Russell Brand, Jo Brand, and Lenny Henry. Oh, and Julian Clary who is only funny when someone is scripting his lines for him.
I've heard plenty of lame acts from black comedians basically using the same jokes as Manning but beginning it with "Y'see,white people do THIS, but we blacks, we do THIS.." then screaming the punchline and spending the next ten minutes glad-handing the crowd who make noises like feeding time at the zoo. Dont see why one is edgy and the other is out-of-date mysoginist, racist, and every other "ist" buzzword floating about. =/
I've heard plenty of lame acts from black comedians basically using the same jokes as Manning but beginning it with "Y'see,white people do THIS, but we blacks, we do THIS.." then screaming the punchline and spending the next ten minutes glad-handing the crowd who make noises like feeding time at the zoo. Dont see why one is edgy and the other is out-of-date mysoginist, racist, and every other "ist" buzzword floating about. =/
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timsinister
- The Oncoming Storm
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Quality avatar hom!
"One girl puked up her f**king pelvis on this stuff"
Funniest I've ever seen him.
"One girl puked up her f**king pelvis on this stuff"
Funniest I've ever seen him.