Top Tips!

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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6FeetOver
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I don't wanna be the goalie.
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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robertzombie
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You'd be great at the goal kicks!
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6FeetOver
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Yeah, but I'd rather be running around vs. having the ball kicked at my head the whole time. :roll: Pfffft!
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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reactiv8
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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SINsister wrote:Yeah, but I'd rather be running around vs. having the ball kicked at my head the whole time. :roll: Pfffft!
:roll:
They (The Establishment) use sex as an addiction for control, just as they use alcohol and drugs ...
- A programme of systematic frustration in order to sell this crock of s**t as immortality, a garden of delights and love. ...
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Zuma
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Joined: 24 Jan 2003, 00:36

TAXI drivers. Why not pop into the garage and ask them to fix your indicators lights for you so that other motorists know where the heck you're going.
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psichonaut
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SINsister wrote:Yeah, but I'd rather be running around vs. having the ball kicked at my head the whole time. :roll: Pfffft!
this is my favourite team..... ;D
an they're seeking a forward

[Photo removed - NOT WORK SAFE! :evil:]
thanks...my Lord...i'm unbeliver
tear up your pants for psicho...and jump on him
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smiscandlon
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Gaaah! NSFW! :evil:
анархия
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psichonaut
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smiscandlon wrote:Gaaah! NSFW! :evil:
what's NSFW?
thanks...my Lord...i'm unbeliver
tear up your pants for psicho...and jump on him
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6FeetOver
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Marco, photos containing nudity, partial nudity, and the like aren't allowed to be posted at Heartland. Some Heartlanders surf the forums from work, and could get into serious trouble if such photos could be seen on their computer screens. We definitely don't want to get anyone fired, now do we? :evil:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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James Blast
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Location: back from some place else

his waxwork's still up Missus :innocent:
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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psichonaut
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SINsister wrote:Marco, photos containing nudity, partial nudity, and the like aren't allowed to be posted at Heartland. Some Heartlanders surf the forums from work, and could get into serious trouble if such photos could be seen on their computer screens. We definitely don't want to get anyone fired, now do we? :evil:
;D
None shoud surf in internet out of what he/she need for work ;D
.....but are you ready to play with them? :innocent:
thanks...my Lord...i'm unbeliver
tear up your pants for psicho...and jump on him
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6FeetOver
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psichonaut wrote:
SINsister wrote:Marco, photos containing nudity, partial nudity, and the like aren't allowed to be posted at Heartland. Some Heartlanders surf the forums from work, and could get into serious trouble if such photos could be seen on their computer screens. We definitely don't want to get anyone fired, now do we? :evil:
;D
None shoud surf in internet out of what he/she need for work ;D
.....but are you ready to play with them? :innocent:
That doesn't change the rules, Marco. Please abide by them, in future.

And no, thanks. I'd like to play on a real team. ;)
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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scotty
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Can someone PM me the Pic'?
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
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markfiend
goriller of form 3b
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Anyway, Top Tips:

Save money on expensive personalised number plates. Merely change your name to match your number plate.

Mr. R942 BWX, Leeds
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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BillyBadBreaks
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Joined: 17 Sep 2004, 20:57
Location: Was the UK, but now Columbus, Ohio

scotty wrote:Can someone PM me the Pic'?
you perve! :lol:

see it to me, too :innocent:
You still think swastikas look cool
The real nazis run your schools
They're coaches, businessmen and cops
In a real fourth reich you'll be the first to go
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EvilBastard
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Top Tip: if you've just cut up a handful of habanero chilis (those are the little orange ones that measure between 100k and 350k on the Scoville scale, and punch a good deal above their weight in the spicy combat arena), and cooked dinner for a cute young thing (green salad, a chili that is just the right side of piquant, nice bottle of Malbec, coffee) do not under any circumstances be tempted to take her to bed unless you've had your hands steam-cleaned and sand-blasted by your local HazMat crew .

I cannot stress this enough - failure to heed this tip will result in spending two hours or so in the Emergency Room or casualty unit of your local hospital while the cute young thing in question has her ladybits swabbed with alcohol and you being sworn at using language that would make a navvy blush. It will also ensure that you have at least a week's worth of enforced celibacy.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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weebleswobble
Underneath the Rock
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Now that is one to remember... :urff:
‎"We will wear some very loud shirts. We will wear some very wrong trousers."
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6FeetOver
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EvilBastard wrote:It will also ensure that you have at least a week's worth of enforced celibacy.
:eek: That's all?! :evil: Oy.
:lol:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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EvilBastard
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SINsister wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:It will also ensure that you have at least a week's worth of enforced celibacy.
:eek: That's all?! :evil: Oy.
:lol:
Well, that's what the medics recommend in cases of "chemical irritation of the labia minora". Of course, I may be on the bench for a good deal longer than that, if only on Embarrasment grounds - it didn't help that the resident who tended to her was the fiancee of a mutual friend (who has already heard about the event, judging from some of the text messages that have been received), that she had to explain to a nurse who was slightly hard of hearing what the problem was (and who then repeated the problem in a louder-than-necessary voice to the amusement of a busy waiting room), and that we had to stop at a chemist to pick up some soothing ointment on the way home - top tip number 2: if you're a pharmaceutical company making unguents for applying to [ahem] certain parts, call it something innocuous. Calling it Vag-EEZ doesn't do you any favours, especially when the pharmacist yells to his colleague in the dispensary, "Maria, do we have any Vag-EEZ in the back?"
And it's the gift that's going to keep on giving, as tomorrow she's going to be submitting a claim to her insurance company for the hospital visit - if this doesn't ring alarm bells at her HMO then I don't know what will!:lol:

The only upside is that I'm fairly sure she doesn't read these pages - if she does I might as well give the condoms to a local charity, as I can't see that I'll be needing them again before they reach their use-by date... :lol:
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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splintered thing
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I am allergic to chilli - and that is one of the most terrifying stories I have read in these hallowed pages :lol:
Oh the very thought of my lady parts being assaulted such....Ye Gads..... I do hope your lovely lady is recovering.
as the day is long,
rain from heaven
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Hexe Luciferia
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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:eek: :eek: :eek:
I'll shove that bat up your a** and turn you into a popsicle
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GC
Slight Overbomber
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Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 22:05

Walnuts make perfect a brain replacement for Frankenstein mice.

Best letter ever in VIZ:

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, one to change the bulb and one to suck my cock.

Sorry women.
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GC
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1257
Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 22:05

Gollum's Cock wrote:Walnuts make perfect a brain replacement for Frankenstein mice.

Best letter ever in VIZ:

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, one to change the bulb and one to suck my cock.

Sorry women.

I was expecting a few asterixs' on that one. Sorry everybody
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6FeetOver
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You will be, sir. ;)
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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robertzombie
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Posts: 4382
Joined: 05 Sep 2005, 12:49
Location: London

Gollum's Cock wrote:Walnuts make perfect a brain replacement for Frankenstein mice.

Best letter ever in VIZ:

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, one to change the bulb and one to suck my cock.

Sorry women.
*snigger*
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