"We've always done it like that"

Izzy HaveMercy · 29 Nov 2007, 21:46

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.

Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.

And why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

And bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses!

Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.

Next time you call someone a horse's ass, just remember; they were and still are very important throughout the history of mankind...

IZ.

EvilBastard · 29 Nov 2007, 21:57

Good theory, but the design of Roman roads precludes the formation of ruts, which makes you wonder why you can still walk along a roman road in perfect condition but they dig up the street outside my house every 6 months to fix potholes.

weebleswobble · 29 Nov 2007, 21:58

What did the Romans ever do for us?

mh · 29 Nov 2007, 22:12

Romanes eunt domus.

Dark · 29 Nov 2007, 22:19

weebleswobble wrote:What did the Romans ever do for us?

Here follows a rousing chorus of Goldblade.

29 Nov 2007, 22:31

Mark is not here at the moment, but he surely would post something with snopes written in it.

psichonaut · 29 Nov 2007, 23:41

ROMA CAPUT MUNDI....for you "barbarian" people it means: ROME WORLD CHIEF......
Romans invented "feet", "inches" and streets....you only railroads.....i think they did the greatest part
@ Iz good theory

eotunun · 29 Nov 2007, 23:50

psichonaut wrote:ROMA CAPUT MUNDI....for you "barbarian" people it means: ROME WORLD CHIEF......
Romans invented "feet", "inches" and streets....you only railroads.....i think they did the greatest part
@ Iz good theory

In german "Kaputt" means broken. I think I found one of the rare hidden truths in my bloody native bloody language..

psichonaut · 29 Nov 2007, 23:53

eotunun wrote:
psichonaut wrote:ROMA CAPUT MUNDI....for you "barbarian" people it means: ROME WORLD CHIEF......
Romans invented "feet", "inches" and streets....you only railroads.....i think they did the greatest part
@ Iz good theory
In german "Kaputt" means broken. I think I found one of the rare hidden truths in my bloody native bloody language..

maybe you don't know that in Italy who wants to study german need to study latin

another thing....for you Iz

boudicca · 30 Nov 2007, 00:34

Don't start me on the f**king Romans

Apart from royally screwing my namesake over, they truly were useless. The America of the ancient world, that's all the Roman Empire was. All brawn and no brain. Gimme the Greeks anyday

eotunun · 30 Nov 2007, 00:37

Same arse, oposite buttock.

boudicca · 30 Nov 2007, 00:43

eotunun wrote:Same arse, oposite buttock.

Er no... Greece gave us Plato, Socrates, Pythagoras, philosophy, democracy (of sorts)... I could go on...

What did Rome give us? Pliny the fcuking Elder and generally making their presence felt where it wasn't wanted. Meh.

I'll grant that their food is better, never liked Greek grub.

eotunun · 30 Nov 2007, 00:51

boudicca wrote: and generally making their presence felt where it wasn't wanted. Meh.

I'll grant that their food is better, never liked Greek grub.

The gyros breath under deck of the Biremes (Or probably Biremopoulos in greek) is probably the only factor that slowed the greeks down, so they didn't get all of Europe..

Big Si · 30 Nov 2007, 01:02

I recommend you watch or read -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Jones'_Barbarians

So you think you know everything about the Romans? They gave us sophisticated road systems, chariots and the modern-day calendar. And of course they had to contend with barbarian hordes who continually threatened the peace, safety and prosperity of their Empire. Didn't they?

Terry Jones' Barbarians takes a completely fresh approach to Roman history. Not only does it offer us the chance to see the Romans from a non-Roman perspective, it also reveals that most of the people written off by the Romans as uncivilized, savage and barbaric were in fact organized, motivated and intelligent groups of people, with no intentions of overthrowing Rome and plundering its Empire.

In his new book and the accompanying four-part BBC Two television series Terry Jones argues that we have been sold a false history of Rome that has twisted our entire understanding of our own history. Terry asks what did the Romans ever do for us?

This is the story of Roman history as seen by the Britons, Gauls, Germans, Greeks, Persians and Africans. The Vandals didn't vandalize - the Romans did. The Goths didn't sack Rome - the Romans did. Attila the Hun didn't go to Constantinople to destroy it, but because the Emperor's daughter wanted to marry him. And far from civilizing the societies they conquered the Romans often destroyed much of what they found.

Terry Jones travels round the geography of the Roman Empire and through 700 years of history - bringing wit, irreverence, passion and the very latest scholarship to transform our view of the legacy of the Roman Empire and the creation of the modern world.

Welcome to history from a different point of view...

boudicca · 30 Nov 2007, 01:08

Preachin' to the choir there, Si

sultan2075 · 30 Nov 2007, 01:08

boudicca wrote:Don't start me on the f**king Romans

Apart from royally screwing my namesake over, they truly were useless. The America of the ancient world, that's all the Roman Empire was. All brawn and no brain. Gimme the Greeks anyday

I'm generally with you on the Greeks, but, er... I thought your namesake gave the Romans quite a beating, didn't she? Or am I wrong? Oh wait, they killed her family, didn't they? I don't recall the details.

The Romans weren't all bad, though--according to Plutarch, Caesar had intended Brutus to succeed him and restore the republic. The period before the civil wars was alright, compared to the current alternatives--it was better for a human to be in the Empire than out of it, at that point.

boudicca · 30 Nov 2007, 01:14

sultan2075 wrote:
boudicca wrote:Don't start me on the f**king Romans

Apart from royally screwing my namesake over, they truly were useless. The America of the ancient world, that's all the Roman Empire was. All brawn and no brain. Gimme the Greeks anyday
I'm generally with you on the Greeks, but, er... I thought your namesake gave the Romans quite a beating, didn't she? Or am I wrong? Oh wait, they killed her family, didn't they? I don't recall the details.

Nope, she tried... but they ultimately screwed her

weebleswobble · 30 Nov 2007, 01:54

Asterix kicked all their asses

EvilBastard · 30 Nov 2007, 04:03

The Goths didn't sack Rome - the Romans did.

Bollocks! Last time El Sisters played the Colosseum (final score: Doktor Avalanche: 17; Lions: as many former band members as you can count without taking your mittens off) they laid waste to the city!

Oh, wait -

isn't a goth...

I thought Boadicea (this new-fangled spelling and pronounciation is for the birds - it was "boh-da-see-ah" when I were a lad) commited suicide (there's goffic for you). Ok, so the Romans ravaged her daughters, but the lady herself was no saint, going round burning cities to the ground and generally making a nuisance of herself. Hell hath no fury, and all that.

Fair enough, it was a bit mean of the Romans to prevent her from inheriting her hubby's throne just because she was a bird, but come on - he was king of flippin' Norfolk! Just imagine - if the romans hadn't thrashed her we'd all be living in the fens with webbed feet and having unnatural relations with our kin! There's a reason that "normal for Norfolk" is a common note in medical records.

EvilBastard · 30 Nov 2007, 04:16

weebleswobble wrote:Asterix kicked all their asses

And that's only because he fell in the cauldron when he was a baby...

CellThree · 30 Nov 2007, 04:26

EvilBastard wrote:
weebleswobble wrote:Asterix kicked all their asses
And that's only because he fell in the cauldron when he was a baby...

Still ended up French though

EvilBastard · 30 Nov 2007, 04:35

CellThree wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:
weebleswobble wrote:Asterix kicked all their asses
And that's only because he fell in the cauldron when he was a baby...
Still ended up French though

Three words:

Gauloise
Absinthe
Emmanuelle

Any questions?

weebleswobble · 30 Nov 2007, 05:03

EvilBastard wrote:
weebleswobble wrote:Asterix kicked all their asses
And that's only because he fell in the cauldron when he was a baby...

That was Obelix!

EvilBastard · 30 Nov 2007, 05:22

weebleswobble wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:
weebleswobble wrote:Asterix kicked all their asses
And that's only because he fell in the cauldron when he was a baby...
That was Obelix!

Asterix, Obelix - both highly suspect: buff shirtless men with big moustaches, hanging out together all the time, neither of them married - is anyone else thinking that this sort of thing was what Clause 28 was really trying to get at?

CellThree · 30 Nov 2007, 05:33

EvilBastard wrote:
CellThree wrote:
EvilBastard wrote: And that's only because he fell in the cauldron when he was a baby...
Still ended up French though
Three words:

Gauloise
Absinthe
Emmanuelle

Any questions?

1. Yuck. Export A ftw!
2. ...makes the heart grow fonder
3. Yeah, ok. Point taken. Although my favourite Emmanuelle is Emmanuelle Seigner. Just watch Frantic and try not to fall in love with her.