Microsoft patent HAL 9000

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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mh
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http://www.techworld.com/networking/new ... 1143&email

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

The funniest bit is:
The system could also "automatically detect frustration or stress in the user" and "offer and provide assistance accordingly"
It doesn't say how it would offer or provide assistance, but one would assume something along the lines of "I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over".
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
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EvilBastard
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Not to be a luddite, but this can only end badly. If the assistance offered to stressed people is anything akin to the "assistance" offered by that bastard paperclip motherfcuker that used to pollute our screens I foresee a 400% increase in workplace shootings. Buy your firearms and ammunition stocks now to avoid disapointment.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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reactiv8
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EvilBastard wrote:Not to be a luddite, but this can only end badly. If the assistance offered to stressed people is anything akin to the "assistance" offered by that bastard paperclip motherfcuker that used to pollute our screens I foresee a 400% increase in workplace shootings. Buy your firearms and ammunition stocks now to avoid disapointment.
Aye!
They (The Establishment) use sex as an addiction for control, just as they use alcohol and drugs ...
- A programme of systematic frustration in order to sell this crock of s**t as immortality, a garden of delights and love. ...
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smiscandlon
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I suspect in the "real" world it'd be more like this.
анархия
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silentNate
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smiscandlon wrote:I suspect in the "real" world it'd be more like this.
I can't believe I miss that programme already :(

My favourite bit was pausing to check out the t-shirt worn by Roy :notworthy:
I had a face on the mirror
I had a hand on the gun
I had a place in the sun and a ticket to Syria
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