The Andrew Eldritch fame index

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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mockeldritch
Utterly Bastard Smurph
Posts: 92
Joined: 13 Jun 2002, 01:00
Location: London

Extensive* research using the most reliable, modern and up-to-date tools* available has now made it possible to bring you the Andrew Eldritch fame index.

No expense has been spared*, no compromises made in time or effort* to bring you this exciting new way to waste a few seconds of your precious, precious time.

See how your favourite goth/new romantic* legend measures up against the fantastic but diminuitive Mr. Eldritch.

Here comes the list!!!

Entity Rating
------ ------
1. Gary Numan 11.657
2. Morrissey 8.567
3. Robert Smith 5.056
4. Peter Murphy 2.087
5. Ian Astbury 1.256
6. Vonny boy 1.000
7. Daniel Ash 0.716
8. That Guitarist 0.528
9. Carl McCoy 0.272
10. Nik Fiend 0.063

So there you have it. Wow. Who'd have thought that good old Von would be precisely 1.893617 times as famous as the Waynester? Just goes to show what being fat, bald and unable to write decent lyrics does for you...

--

Footnotes:

1. "extensive" is used here in the very specialised sense that includes ideas which you had over lunch that seemed vaguely funny.

2. Google.

3. This phrase is intended to be read "no expense has been incurred".

4. i.e. Half a lunch hour.

5. New romantic heroes were only included so that I could incorporate Gary Numan, because he's great.
Very little of what you believe to be true is actually the case.

Sorry.
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Black Dahlia
Elegantly Wasted
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Joined: 27 Mar 2003, 20:28
Location: On the lone and the level ....

YAY!! someone else who thinks Gary Numans a god!!
Hell is other people
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mockeldritch
Utterly Bastard Smurph
Posts: 92
Joined: 13 Jun 2002, 01:00
Location: London

Black Dahlia wrote:YAY!! someone else who thinks Gary Numans a god!!
Oh yussss...

Just noticed the article in Sisters Chat on a similar subject (which I can assure you is a total coincidence as I did my searching before logging in to Heartland) - with absolutely no information as to how exactly they did their searches I can say without hesitation that their method was inferior to mine anyway. Gary Numan is indeed God, and That Guitarist will always be a lowly pus-filled worm when compared to the inestimable Mr. E.
Very little of what you believe to be true is actually the case.

Sorry.
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Almiche V
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Joined: 23 Apr 2003, 21:01
Location: Outta sight

My first concert was Gary Numan in Southampton in 1980. The business. Except for the mobile chair that he sat in and drove around the stage during one song. Bit naff that.
To not know and to ask a question is a moment of embarrassment; to not know and not ask is a lifetime of shame.
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zigeunerweisen
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 573
Joined: 12 Apr 2002, 01:00
Location: Portugal

Who's Gary Numan?
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Big Si
School Bully
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Joined: 19 Nov 2002, 00:00
Location: Glesga Central

zigeunerweisen wrote:Who's Gary Numan?
:eek: :roll: Not you again, Ziggy! :twisted:

You need to spend less time in the Gym and more time listening to BBC Radio 6!

http://www.numan.co.uk/

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Wyrd bið ful aræd...

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Muppet Boy
Road Kill
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mockeldritch wrote:.. with absolutely no information as to how exactly they did their searches I can say without hesitation that their method was inferior to mine anyway.
Lies and slander!

My methods merely had to be kept secret as a matter of .. err... national security? No, ok, I just stuck some phrases into the magic google-box and saw what happened.

YOU HAVE EXPOSED ME FOR THE GIGANTIC SCIENTIFIC-FRAUDSTER THAT I AM! I hope you're happy now! *sob*
There are no Tripods here.
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mockeldritch
Utterly Bastard Smurph
Posts: 92
Joined: 13 Jun 2002, 01:00
Location: London

Muppet Boy wrote:
mockeldritch wrote:.. with absolutely no information as to how exactly they did their searches I can say without hesitation that their method was inferior to mine anyway.
Lies and slander!

My methods merely had to be kept secret as a matter of .. err... national security? No, ok, I just stuck some phrases into the magic google-box and saw what happened.

YOU HAVE EXPOSED ME FOR THE GIGANTIC SCIENTIFIC-FRAUDSTER THAT I AM! I hope you're happy now! *sob*
Success.

Let this be a warning to you all...
Very little of what you believe to be true is actually the case.

Sorry.
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