Worst lyricist ever

Major de Coverly · 30 Oct 2003, 11:52

By popular vote, Paul McCartney was the greatest. And who am I to argue with public opinion?

But what about the worst? Perhaps an accolade for which there is even greater competition. Me, I nominate (on (de)merit, altho' it has a certain ying and yang about it) Julian Lennon.

Julian Lennon - Salt water

We are a rock revolving
Around a golden sun
We are a billion children rolled into one
So when I hear about the hole in the sky
Salt water wells in my eyes

We climb the highest mountains
We'll make the desert bloom
We're so ingenious we can walk on the moon
But when I hear 'bout how the forests have died
Salt water wells in my eyes

I have lived for love, but now that's not enough
For the world I love is dying, and now I'm crying
Time is not a friend, 'cause friends we're out of time
And it's slowly passing by
Right before our eyes

We light the deepest oceans
Send photographs of stars
We're so enchanted by how clever we are
Why should one baby be so hungry she cries?
Salt water wells in my eyes.

I have lived for love, but now that's not enough
For the world I love is dying, and now I'm crying
Time is not a friend, 'cause friends we're out of time
And it's slowly passing by
Right before our eyes

We are a rock revolving
Around a golden sun
We are a billion children rolled into one
What will god think of me the day that I die
Salt water wells in my eyes.

ryan · 30 Oct 2003, 12:06

oh... scandal

id say any top 40 hit or any of that r-n-b nonsence but then again most of them dont write their own songs or even sing them

Serendipityhaven · 30 Oct 2003, 12:28

oooh,i know i know!

recent top 40 "smash" Ignition(the remix).....

now who claimed that one for their own...r.kelly/nelly???....it was one of the dazzling array of "new+stunning" "r+b" acts of today...

i found it the best and most extreme example of current music marketing,demonstarting that the kids of today are being mercilessly targetd in a no holds barred campaign of pure greed and brain washing.

they are told thru lyrics,and more powerfully i think thru video continuously that its ok,no,its an absolute necessity to be nothing but an object of emptyheaded unquestioning sex appeal.

this particular tune is devoted to describing the benefits to a man of watching scantily clad girls(and theres the point) doing their utmost to do nothing but be an object of arousal.
because thats the best they can hope to achieve you see.that is the pinaccle of all pinacles.

if youre a boy,youre told that this is they way to think,to judge and as such base your actions upon as well.

and lets not forget people that this lots being beamed out to children from an age where they dont have any real concept of what the word "horny" even means(i refer way back to mousse t's tune).
i recall junior school girls singing that song years back.

as far as im concenred theres something very,very wrong about a group of eight year olds singing(as they would) the current no1 which chorus consists of"i'm horny,horny horny horny".

but i digress slightly...
the ignition tune is todays incarnation of mousse t's offering.
everythings sold on titillation,and i mean everything.and can you really expect any child to be single minded enough to by pass what they cant escape from 24/7?

as an adult i find it hard enough...,as a mother i find it terrifying,and as a "consumer" of music i find it disheartening.

oh,i rather like Julien lennons offerings.
one of my first ever records was his first release...forget what the title was now but i liked it.
doesnt seem to have taken to easy route and traded solely on his origins(unlike yoko's kid

).

30 Oct 2003, 12:41

Surely this has to rank quiet highly?

"I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news"

Des'ree. Jesus christ

Almiche V · 30 Oct 2003, 13:28

Steve303 wrote:Surely this has to rank quiet highly?

"I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news"

Des'ree. Jesus christ

It's also a f**king annoying song.

30 Oct 2003, 13:35

Agreed. She must be stopped.

mh · 30 Oct 2003, 14:50

My vote goes to Barney from New Order. Now, he's not that bad in general, but some of what he's capable of coming out with is wince-inducing to the worst extreme.

30 Oct 2003, 15:58

mh wrote:My vote goes to Barney from New Order. Now, he's not that bad in general, but some of what he's capable of coming out with is wince-inducing to the worst extreme.

Admitted, but he's also responsible for some of the best.

James Blast · 30 Oct 2003, 21:02

Anika or Martika or some fecka! for this couplet on Japanese Boy

Was it something I said or done.
That made him pack his bag up and run?

regards
Blast

Serendipityhaven · 31 Oct 2003, 00:18

i remeber that!
and its subsequent t.o.t.p's appearance too.
how did that go again...
umm..isnt it a pity that my love has gone,
he's my Japanese boy,
oh i miss my Japanese boy...
that was the basics of the chorus wasnt it.

vocalist in stereotypical geisha type outfit twirling itsy parasol whilst tiptoeing about the stage,lots of balloons being knocked about.maybe the audience was bored....

hmmm.

James Blast · 31 Oct 2003, 00:26

Yes! Sen it was hell in them days

regards
Blast

Thrash Harry · 31 Oct 2003, 15:45

Step forward Mr Jimmy Pursey.

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/rancid/if ... nited.html

I rest my case.

rian · 31 Oct 2003, 15:47

Thrash Harry wrote:Step forward Mr Jimmy Pursey.

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/rancid/if ... nited.html

I rest my case.

A Mc Donalds song?

Thrash Harry · 31 Oct 2003, 15:51

Or even the far superior original:

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/sham69/if ... nited.html

And I thought rancid was a description not a band name. Doh!

31 Oct 2003, 15:54

meatloaf / steinman

Thrash Harry · 31 Oct 2003, 15:58

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Sorry. Couldn't resist it.

31 Oct 2003, 16:01

Thrash Harry · 31 Oct 2003, 16:27

Sorry QB. Don't understand that icon.

31 Oct 2003, 16:41

Thrash Harry wrote:Sorry QB. Don't understand that icon.

tis a sceptical, sideways glance...

Almiche V · 31 Oct 2003, 17:18

Quiff Boy wrote:meatloaf / steinman

"I Would Do Anything For Love, But I Won't Do That"

Like, oh how interesting Mr Loaf. Like I care

And to all those people who bought Bat Out Of Hell 2 - sssucckeerrrzzzzzzzzzz!!

DomConway · 31 Oct 2003, 17:26

Steve303 wrote:"I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news"

First time I heard that I thought it was a pi$$-take. Absolutely shocking.

Loki · 31 Oct 2003, 17:54

And just to put the cat amongst the pigeons and push the envelope a little more, this has always grated on me from day 1 ...

It's just a feeling
I get sometimes

A feeling

Sometimes

And I get frightened
Just like you

I get frightened too

Guaranteed to have a non-Sisters fan laughing hysterically before the first chorus has finished. I assume it's Hussey but he

still immortalised it on vinyl.

James Blast · 31 Oct 2003, 18:23

Radical JB! :O

hallucienate · 31 Oct 2003, 18:40

snubnoseuk wrote:I Would Do Anything For Love, But I Won't Do That"

Meat Loaf did make do a p*ss-take on that line in the Spice Girls Movie, for which he earned my respect.

Almiche V · 31 Oct 2003, 18:47

hallucienate wrote:
snubnoseuk wrote:I Would Do Anything For Love, But I Won't Do That"
Meat Loaf did make do a p*ss-take on that line in the Spice Girls Movie, for which he earned my respect.

Good. Just as long as he's learned.