relations - how should you handle them

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James Blast
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I hung up on one tonight, she's done it at least twice to me, she then e-mailed me that I'd be sorry if I ever did that again. My immediate reaction was to reply in a considered yet vitriolic way - unsent, I'll sleep on it. If she wasn't the Mum's sister this grief woulda been over back in the '70s.

why do we "toe the line" when relatives are being khuntz?

I hung up because she was going on the hunt for one of our family who is rebuilding his life after many years of alcoholism, I didn't think it was fair, there are better ways to approach this problem and attack is not one of them. It could send him over the edge.
I really don't want that, he's a nice guy.
Our Aunt is a cunt, no two ways about that, she's a family joke but she's nasty, rich and vindictive.
Bad Medicine
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
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christophe
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what a topic for this late in the evening.

family should be there for you because of what? in my expience it are all people like everyone else you meet in your life, I have never feld anything that could resemble a family tie/obligation/connection.
I think the only real family ties that one has are with his parents and his children, all other family are just people who happen to be of the same offspring. some you like some you don't, I myself try to be as 'nice' as I can to anyone, family or not. but if any should cross a bridge to far why would he/she deserves your compation any more?

in case you wonder, I have witnessed the full of human nature in some relatives.
I have far better family among my friends!
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Pista
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Not something I would like to post publicly really J
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Dark
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Couldn't tell you, Mr B. I don't really talk to my parents about anything personal, so at times I feel fairly detached from my family when I see them. This has the advantage that when one of them pisses me off, I feel little desire to tow the line.

As for your Aunt.. since she's not Very Friendly, just wait until the Hamburger Lady becomes Slug Bait.
Or something. I dunno. c**t.
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Bartek
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Pista wrote:Not something I would like to post publicly really J
hard to disagree. but it's his privacy.
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markfiend
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If you do regret posting it, I'm sure a friendly mod could bin it for you. ;)

But in reply to your question, "blood is thicker than water". Love them or hate them, you're pretty much stuck with them. why do we "toe the line" when relatives are being khuntz? Because we have to really. :urff: I feel your pain.
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MadameButterfly
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Oh James, shame that we have family like you describe! All I can say is support the man trying to get his life sorted back on the right track and tell your aunt to keep her nose out of it.

I moved miles away from family and still got stabbed in the back!

It's true that friends are better than family at most times!

Strength to you sir.
it's all about circles and spirals
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DeWinter
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James Blast wrote:I hung up on one tonight, she's done it at least twice to me, she then e-mailed me that I'd be sorry if I ever did that again. My immediate reaction was to reply in a considered yet vitriolic way - unsent, I'll sleep on it. If she wasn't the Mum's sister this grief woulda been over back in the '70s.

why do we "toe the line" when relatives are being khuntz?

I hung up because she was going on the hunt for one of our family who is rebuilding his life after many years of alcoholism, I didn't think it was fair, there are better ways to approach this problem and attack is not one of them. It could send him over the edge.
I really don't want that, he's a nice guy.
Our Aunt is a cunt, no two ways about that, she's a family joke but she's nasty, rich and vindictive.
Bad Medicine
We put up with it because we're told from the cradle upwards that family share an intrinsic bond. How no-one can love you quite like them, how they'll always be there..and yet if you want to be bitched about, backstabbed, and let down, no-one is better than family for it. Everyones been to a family gathering where little groups get together and spread evil gossip about other family members.

I'd hazard a guess and say your aunt only does this to people she knows will put up with it. Tell her to get stuffed and do her worst. Unless you're hoping for a legacy or something, what damage can she do? Physically attack you? Bitch about you to other family members? The ones who genuinely care won't listen to her.

(The relative I gave the metaphorical bird to was my mother. No great loss to my life. It just made me appreciate my partner and friends more.)
"Vengeance. Justice. Fire and blood.."
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mh
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I keep mine (especially the extended family, of which there are loads) at a reasonable distance. There's been enough high drama in the past, and I know that there are some of them who would love nothing better than to drag it up all over again. They're my family sure, and because of that I love and respect them, but there are boundaries and sometimes one just needs one's own personal space.
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
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Obviousman
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James Blast wrote:Our Aunt is a cunt, no two ways about that, she's a family joke but she's nasty, rich and vindictive.[/size]
The one we had a drink with?

Either way, family's complicated. My mother's sister died the other night after years of being out of touch, still it hurt my mother deeply. Very deep. Never underestimate that.

All the drama that runs through both of my families keeps me at a safe distance as well though...
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