One hundred

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Major de Coverly
Road Kill
Posts: 96
Joined: 27 Aug 2003, 18:03

Lord Major de Coverly [1946 - 2003]

It is with great regret that the passing of His Lordship, Major de Coverly, in a car crash this morning, is announced.

His Lordship was returning from an all night poker game and had, the Coroner stated, the equivalent of 2 litres of Macallan whiskey in his system at the time his Bentley left the road, broke through a fence, ran over 3 deer, 4 peasants, a chimneysweep, a rabbit, two squirrels and some German tourists, before ricocheting off a tree and launching head first into de Coverly Lake.

Some reports have stated that the tourists reported his Lordship being engaged in a mobile telephone call to someone he was referring to as a "naughty little minx" at the time he entered the lake. The Coroner, Filbert Balltwitt KBE stated that this was "a load of bloody Hun nonsense" and was "not what we fought a war for".

His Lordship's title dates back to Henry I who, it is alleged, had a predilection for mating himself with French ponies whilst blindfolded young virgins danced around him throwing beets. The first Lord de Coverly, Ricard Pastis Pernod Coverly, spotted the king indulging in this "ritual" on one of his many trips to Normandy and had a contemporary artist render likenesses so uncanny, a legacy was spawned before the ink was even dry on the portraits.

In the late 1800s the good fortune that had seemingly followed the de Coverly clan like a doting lamb, ran off. A series of bad land speculations, outrageous divorce settlements (including marrying a horse whilst drunk once and conceding two fields to hush things up) and failure to cheat well at poker severely reduced the estate.

This left the incumbent Lord de Coverly with just de Coverly Towers, the lake on the grounds, and a small estate where the Major would prepare for his (sadly unrealised) life long goal of invading Poland, using Sherman tanks and the local farm hands, gypsies and travellers to practice with. This had been an ambition ever since Lord de Coverly reached the rank of Major in the local boy scout troop.

Lord Major de Coverly leaves 3 ex-wives, one daughter, a large wine cellar, 25 horses, 100 hunting hounds and a humidor in need of a good home.

The line dies with him.
Last edited by Major de Coverly on 13 Nov 2003, 13:15, edited 1 time in total.
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emilystrange
Above the Chemist
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Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

thats a bit unlucky on your birthday.
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
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Quiff Boy
Herr Administrator
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emilystrange wrote:thats a bit unlucky on your birthday.
it is, isn't it? :roll:

so, are we taking guesses on who the major's next incarnation will be?
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
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emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

i haven't been here long enogh to know what the last one was....
how're u, anyway?
i'm having a bad day.
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
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Big Si
School Bully
Posts: 6747
Joined: 19 Nov 2002, 00:00
Location: Glesga Central

Bugger! I'm unemployed again! :roll:
Wyrd bið ful aræd...

mybelgiannemesis
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Black Dahlia
Elegantly Wasted
Posts: 571
Joined: 27 Mar 2003, 20:28
Location: On the lone and the level ....

Im just off to say a quick mass for the Maj.
Hell is other people
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Padstar
Utterly Bastard Smurph
Posts: 1800
Joined: 26 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Purplerainsville, UK
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Here we go again.....

IP reincarnation anyone ?

Paddy.
Still playing guitar - sometimes weird shaped ones.
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Black Planet
Andrew's Love Goddess
Posts: 2170
Joined: 02 Jun 2003, 20:16

I want to him to come back as Eldritch. Make many more records in studio, and love me like no man has loved me before.
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hallucienate
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Am I the only one that finds it a bit odd to see an obituary written by the dead person it's about? Could there be a case of suicide?
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Padstar
Utterly Bastard Smurph
Posts: 1800
Joined: 26 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Purplerainsville, UK
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Man..... you want that growling old crooner tooo bad woman !

Sid is available at a far reduced rate.... please dont tell him i said that though!

Paddy.
Still playing guitar - sometimes weird shaped ones.
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emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

hallucienate wrote:Am I the only one that finds it a bit odd to see an obituary written by the dead person it's about? Could there be a case of suicide?
I assumed that was normal round here...
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
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Black Planet
Andrew's Love Goddess
Posts: 2170
Joined: 02 Jun 2003, 20:16

Padstar wrote:Man..... you want that growling old crooner tooo bad woman !

Sid is available at a far reduced rate.... please dont tell him i said that though!

Paddy.
LOL

Yes Paddy, I do!! Life without dreams or fantasies is not worth living. He is my next conquest...... :innocent: :von:

Now, what's Sid look like? :wink:
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Padstar
Utterly Bastard Smurph
Posts: 1800
Joined: 26 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Purplerainsville, UK
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="Black Planet"
Now, what's Sid look like? :wink:
Well... with his long coat, hat, shades and a bit of smoke......

:)

Paddy.
Still playing guitar - sometimes weird shaped ones.
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6FeetOver
Childlike Empress
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Location: way on down south, New London town...
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Sorry to hear of your passing, Major. So...how's death treating you these days? :wink: :von:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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