The Sisters Of Murphy Sponsored by Irn Bru (and not vimto)
What a merciful release - bar code has had his smurphs head firmly anointed by Sid, Pads and co in the oil that is their sound! Close your eyes, darling, take my hand and I'll lead you to the Wonderland that was Smurphs at Dissolution, Sheffield. Bar code can say that "I was there" and even bought the t-shirt! (I am wearing it as I type.)
Imagine if you can, a journey beyond sight and sound and that was just Mikey swearing at the 'technical difficulties' die grossenmikeymaschine suffered en route. Move over Spiderman and Bicycle repairman as yours truly was proclaimed "a hero (in spite of your obviously evil beard)" for outsourcing a majestic pair of pliers which was all the tools the Meadowhall Sainsbury's garage chap had - give him a thumbs up, next time you see him - invite him to the gig. "Get on with it!" Okay, back to the gig....
We f**king arrived eventually, heading on an azimuth and a prayer, as our combined orienteering efforts came to nought. We couldn't even find the entrance! The support band were called Engel (maybe, I don't know) and they were rubbi...a unique blend of nirvana and placebo, a bit like red mountain coffee. This led lamenting Lars to perculate his feelings about there not being enough bands out there with singers who had deep voices. This led Bar code to try and mix Caffreys with irn bru. All was not lost as the aforementioned Jedi Bear with purple lightsabre sat in the middle of the dancefloor, meditating, to be joined later in movement by the manipulating Darth Potter. We prayed to our tower God which we had created from molten girders, for strength and for deliverance (apologies if anyone is offended by the obvious m*****n refs -Ed.)
After ours backsides were getting uncomfortably numb, the SMURFS appeared like dei ex machina, entombed in a Carpenterly fog and oozed into a version of Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb then left the door open for Stranger - excellent. (How about giving the Sonic Seducer's impressive vocals a REAL workout by doing Great Gig in Sky? - Ed.) Mikey and GS were in the mood for dancing, romancing and they gave it their all that night. Sid, I believe, was true to form in thanking two people and being barely audible. Barely visible, however were Pads and Marquee Mark(!) as they vanished into the mist. Pads must have been replaced by a clone for it was a Pads-possessed that ripped into First and Last and Always. At this point, Bar code, sensibly dressed for the occasion in a black t-shirt with an rasta-aceed smiley head which said "Smile Mon", started to dance (so that's what you call it - Ed.) orbiting planet Mikey and GS and they didn't stop 'til the end of time. It's not so hard to understand that No Time to Cry came next - one of Bar code's personal favourites because he can (almost) play the bass line, but he would have to practice in a time chamber to compete with Maquis Mark. Ribbons scratched at the door next, followed by Marian - kannst du mich schreien horen Mutter - and we were given something beautiful again. Alice was in da house next and we grew weak in the prescence of her party dress on the dancefloor - she was nice. (Steady...Ed.) The two worlds of the ginger stringer and Ian (change his name to Ian Bru?) collided into Lucretia then Logic. The bullet train left the station with Nine While Nine as the engine, Sid as the Driver and More, Under the Gun, Walk Away and Rock and Hard Place as the first class carriages. Then amid the sweaty torsoes and feet of flames, Nursie (sorry bin watching Blackadder II repeats-BC) herded the drums into the pen of Gimme, Gimme, Gimme - whilst someone was probably watching a late show at half past twelve MMT (malagan methe time). The dancefloor erupted through the darkness - a lot of pushing and shoving and aeroplane dancing ensued (well BC,GS and Mikey). The excitement was obviously too much for one blond haired chap, who had to be removed from a chair in front of the stage - mind you if someone beefy, who had luminous snot in their ears al a matrix agent style came to remove me, I would go willingly, Mr Anderssson. The inevitable party conga occurred then.
At this point I should say that I owe Lars a drink, as he did buy me one, but drank it himself - 0 out of 10 for timing, 9 out of 10 for style.
Although we tried, we could not compete with Sid on Jolene, his voice was as soft as wet tarmac in the hot sun as he talked with us of desperate love. "Gimme the Ring" sung Frodo Baggins as This Corrision turned and burned the dancefloor into a body electric. BC was briefly reminded of wife when 1969 came on - she'll be '22' again in two days boohoo (must remember to get battleaxesharpener as present
) but any thoughts of caravanning faded when Vision Thing slammed through - the world came alive. The gig ended but there was still time for one last Fix and we were waiting in anticipation for Knocking on Heaven's encore. With a guitar for a lover, Qui-go ginger or young Paddywan, showed his jedi class to Temple of Love, and whilst a devil in a black dress did actually stomp back and forwards, narrowly avoiding BC, Sid's tonsils, like thunder sweeping fireworks, broke distantly as the curtain of love was falling on a most excellent evening.
Well done everyone - Irn Brus all round.
Do I want to go again? You bet Izzy's mule...
PS BC does not accept any liability for any inaccuracies or misquotes or libellous phrases in said article and if you don't like it. Terms and conditions apply. Your statutory rights are not affected. Even if you buy the concert on video. Yes it was taped in front of a live studio audience.
i can't help it about the shape i'm in, i can't sing, i ain't pretty and my legs are thin.
but don't ask me what i think of you,
i might not give an answer that you want me tooo...
(I believe its your turn again at leicester Padstar - check your exhaust before you set off) which was kinda a bummer but amusing none the less. Meant Lars got to see a gs and mikey domestic and not just read about it!!! 
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