10 Commandments to Become Rock Stars

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
Post Reply
User avatar
Quiff Boy
Herr Administrator
Posts: 16795
Joined: 25 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Lurking and fixing
Contact:
Contact Quiff Boy

essential reading for would-be musicians and rock-god copyists the world over :wink:

10 Commandments to Become Rock Stars (without ever learning your instruments)

courtesy of ilikemusic.com

choice quotes:
The most important thing in achieving the dubious status of rock star is to begin immediately assuming that you already are famous, and that your crazy life is destined to be legend. Make it known to your friends that they are lucky enough to know you in the early years and can be part of the myth if they're willing to play along.
2. Play ridiculous shows
Anybody can play a packed bar if they pay enough of their friends to come. The real challenge is to play YMCAs, old folks' homes, mental institutions (like the Cramps did) and the Burnsville Youth Center (like we did). These are the places where you will be truly despised, but you have to act as if they are dying for more until you have to be physically removed. Hey, why not play elementary schools? There's nothing like concerned parents to raise a ruckus.
Never deny or admit anything, just suggest. If you say the words "might be," they are understood as "is" and become glorified by the listeners' imagination each time the story is retold.
Avoid recording contracts, but make record companies believe they are actually fighting for you
Who wants to waste their time, anyway, sitting in a stale-aired studio for weeks getting some pathetic guitar solo to have the right "feel."
nice one! has von read this, do you think? :von:
9. Make enemies
that would be a "YES!" then... :wink:
Last edited by Quiff Boy on 02 Jan 2004, 15:32, edited 1 time in total.
Top
User avatar
Quiff Boy
Herr Administrator
Posts: 16795
Joined: 25 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Lurking and fixing
Contact:
Contact Quiff Boy

still works for me ;)
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
Top
User avatar
Angelchild
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 383
Joined: 12 Oct 2003, 20:47
Location: Durham in the Grim North East

Quiff Boy wrote:essential reading for would-be musicians and rock-god copyists the world over :wink:

10 Commandments to Become Rock Stars (without ever learning your instruments)

courtesy of ilikemusic.com

choice quotes:
The most important thing in achieving the dubious status of rock star is to begin immediately assuming that you already are famous, and that your crazy life is destined to be legend. Make it known to your friends that they are lucky enough to know you in the early years and can be part of the myth if they're willing to play along.
2. Play ridiculous shows
Anybody can play a packed bar if they pay enough of their friends to come. The real challenge is to play YMCAs, old folks' homes, mental institutions (like the Cramps did) and the Burnsville Youth Center (like we did). These are the places where you will be truly despised, but you have to act as if they are dying for more until you have to be physically removed. Hey, why not play elementary schools? There's nothing like concerned parents to raise a ruckus.
Never deny or admit anything, just suggest. If you say the words "might be," they are understood as "is" and become glorified by the listeners' imagination each time the story is retold.
Avoid recording contracts, but make record companies believe they are actually fighting for you
Who wants to waste their time, anyway, sitting in a stale-aired studio for weeks getting some pathetic guitar solo to have the right "feel."
nice one! has von read this, do you think? :von:
9. Make enemies


that would be a "YES!" then... :wink:

:lol: :notworthy: Nice one QB!!!
"Ohne deine hilfe verliere
Ich mich in diesem ort"
Top
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

When does the 'take more drugs, expensive drugs' come in?
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Top
User avatar
Big Si
School Bully
Posts: 6747
Joined: 19 Nov 2002, 00:00
Location: Glesga Central

or you could try this - http://www.tomrobinson.com/work/klf.txt

It worked for -
Image

:notworthy: :D
Wyrd bið ful aræd...

mybelgiannemesis
Top
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

Hmmmm, exterinsting Bawheid... I will read at my leisure.
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Top
Post Reply

Return to “General Chat”