Ikea or Death Metal

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
Post Reply
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

take the test - http://ikeaordeath.com/
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
User avatar
Nikolas Vitus Lagartija
Overbomber
Posts: 2485
Joined: 04 Aug 2011, 23:35
Location: Scotland
Contact:

Great link, @JB. I'm ashamed to say that I only got 12/20 .. and I only got that many because I recognised some of the IKEA product names :oops:
User avatar
mh
Above the Chemist
Posts: 8123
Joined: 23 Jun 2003, 14:41
Location: A city built on rock 'n' roll

11/20
Congrats you are...
Kvlt.

You know that Furkantig means “square� in Swedish to describe the candles that you have on your altar. And above it? The raddest picture of Euronymous ever. Seriously, you scare children and their parents alike, all while wowing them with your design sense. Please check out our agency site. We’d be honored.
Wow, that was difficult. Fantastic link! :notworthy:
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
User avatar
Being645
Wiki Wizard
Posts: 15272
Joined: 09 Apr 2009, 12:54
Location: reconstruction status: whatever the f**k

13/20

Fortunately, the last one was VON ... :lol: ...
User avatar
radiojamaica
Overbomber
Posts: 4875
Joined: 11 Apr 2005, 16:51
Location: Tower of Bass

You scored 14 out of 20!

Congrats you are...
Kvlt.


:twisted:
in dub we trust
User avatar
iesus
Overbomber
Posts: 4455
Joined: 15 Mar 2006, 11:15
Location: x-EU

Congrats you are...
Newb.

You couldn’t furnish a room or name a Darkthrone song if your life depended on it. Guess what. It totally kind of does. Our advice is to listen to more music and buy plenty more furniture. And, while you’re at it, check out our website. Thanks.

:innocent: ;D
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
User avatar
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21181
Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:

11/20

I'd probably have done better tossing a coin ;D
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
User avatar
Big Si
School Bully
Posts: 6747
Joined: 19 Nov 2002, 00:00
Location: Glesga Central

radiojamaica wrote:You scored 14 out of 20!

Congrats you are...
Kvlt.


:twisted:
You scored 20 out of 20!

Congrats you are...
True Kvlt.

:wink: :twisted:

Either you work at IKEA or you played drums for Bathory, because your knowledge is at the level of dare we say it, the cloven hooved one himself. That’s right, we’re talking about Ingvar Kamprad. We’re almost afraid to ask you to peep out our agency site. But please do, oh dark master.

Thanks to mybelgiannemesis
Wyrd bið ful aræd...

mybelgiannemesis
User avatar
Robson
Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 187
Joined: 17 Apr 2010, 21:44
Location: Belgium

17/20 haha
- since 1992 -
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17629
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:

13 for me.
I am Kvlt too
:D
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days

TheCureCommunity
User avatar
Debaser
Overbomber
Posts: 4660
Joined: 30 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Lincoln. UK

Much mirth :lol:
Five cups of coffee just to be myself...when I'd rather be somebody else
User avatar
Silence is platinum
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1209
Joined: 11 May 2003, 19:15
Location: At the end of the pier

10/20
Bartek
Underneath the Rock
Posts: 6141
Joined: 17 Sep 2005, 10:47

You scored 14 out of 20!

i'm more that surprised. :lol:
User avatar
Kutan
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 327
Joined: 22 Jan 2007, 15:27

18/20

Not bad...
User avatar
Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
Posts: 8844
Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Long Dark Forties
Contact:

20/20

Wouldn't do it for less of course.

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
User avatar
Ozpat
From the Lowlands
Posts: 6758
Joined: 16 Aug 2005, 13:14
Location: In the place through which we wander.

15/20 I know more about metal than expected. Or is it IKEA...
"as we walk on the floodland"
User avatar
ribbons69
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1652
Joined: 24 Jan 2009, 12:57
Location: Somewhere, terrified of dying.

20/20 Had to guess one of them.fairly simple for anyone with a Metal background to be honest.
"I've seen Andrew Eldritch in an ice hockey shirt onstage, and I've given him the benefit of the doubt"
Tom G Warrior of Celtic Frost




we fall to rise
User avatar
eastmidswhizzkid
Faster Than The Light Of Speed
Posts: 9876
Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
Location: WhizzWorld
Contact:

12/20...perhaps that's why i always end up with 3 bolts and a random chunk of plastic leftover if have to build any of their stuff. :lol:
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"

:bat:
User avatar
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21181
Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:

I find building Ikea furniture quite enjoyable. It's like Airfix kits for grownups.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
User avatar
ciazaera
Road Kill
Posts: 26
Joined: 15 Oct 2013, 14:28
Location: Ambridge, Borsetshire

Excellent! I got 16 out of 20 and haven't even set foot inside an Ikea.


Perhaps I should get out more.
Any colour you like, so long as it's black. Unless it's a John Deere.
User avatar
eastmidswhizzkid
Faster Than The Light Of Speed
Posts: 9876
Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
Location: WhizzWorld
Contact:

markfiend wrote:I find building Ikea furniture quite enjoyable. It's like Airfix kits for grownups.
more "faulty meccano" in my experience...
once i'd realised that the best way to build anything of theirs was sans instructions -i.e just using my own common sense- the job was considerably easier and less irritating, but to be honest i have never personally bought any of their products myself. therefore i am usually building said furniture for any one of various female relatives all of whom take it for granted that their "favourite" brother/step-son/nephew/so-in-law* (*delete as applicable) has nothing better to do than build sub-standard s**t that they are quite capable of doing themselves if they hadn't suddenly dumped all of their feminist principles and developed "XX-chromosome blonde-ignorance syndrome." :roll:
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"

:bat:
User avatar
VonOben
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 293
Joined: 03 Mar 2004, 21:58
Location: Sweden

Well, I'm swedish... so 20/20. Easy peasy.

The best IKEA-name is the shoehorn "Omsorg". As I happen to know that it's beeing used for spanking quite often. 8)

(Omsorg = Care, like in taking care of somebody.)
"Baby... boogie... baby." - AE
User avatar
Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
Posts: 8844
Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Long Dark Forties
Contact:

Once we visited our famous IKEA store in Wommelgem, Belgium, armed with a load of cards and a marker pen and started adding cards to common stuff in the store.

We added "TRAPP" to the stairs, "BLUSSER" to the fire extinguister, "LIFTT to the elevator doors etc...

Was quite funny till they kicked us out. The security guy had to hide his smile tho ;D

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
User avatar
blackandgold65
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 372
Joined: 06 Sep 2012, 11:28
Location: England

11/20
"I think insipid music is very dangerous. It's a narcotic for the nation as you very well know."
Post Reply