Slightly depressed, the second.

[Izzy HaveMercy]

Today I said good-bye to my granny. She ain't dead yet tho, but will be in a couple of days.

She was diagnosed with lung-cancer almost a month ago now. Last weekend she went home for a couple of days but she needed to go back to the hospital. She is in a lot of pain, can't sleep, and cannot keep her food.

Then she talked about euthanasia, much to my and dad's surprise.

She never signed papers for that, so normally here in Belgium this takes a while when no papers were signed beforehand.

Then again, the people from the hospital suggested to put her in a heavily sedated state, and let nature do its work.

She will be put into this deep sleep tomorrow, so today we went and said our final good-byes.

A weird and hard thing to do, saying farewell to a woman you have known for almost 40 years, who is fully clear in the head and about her wits...

There was a lot of crying from her part.

People tell me: "well you have the chance to say good-bye, most people can't."

Tell me that this is a good thing in a couple of weeks or months.

Now it feels like s**t. I totally respect her decision and think it is the best thing she can do in the circulstances, I'm proud of her strength, but it leaves a huge empty space n my body...

IZ.

[psichonaut]

I'm very sad for her Iz, hugs

Me... It's now ten days since when my daughter died after Nine days of coma, still in a bad time

[Bartek]

i just don't know what to say to you Marco and Izzy - nothing more than hold on guys. it's very sad to read such news.

[psichonaut]

Thanks Bartek

[mh]

Hugs all round, gentlemen. Talking about a band that made some of us smile many years ago is just so unimportant compared to this, or maybe it's the most important thing in the world to have a touchstone to normality. Either way - a Heartland massive to the pair o' ye.

[Being645]

Hard stuff, Marco and Izzy ... ... and of course loads of good thoughts from here too ...

I really can't think up words easily now and here, especially not for two so different situations at once ...

Marco, she will always be with you ... life can take people away, death can not ...

and Iz, I wish for your grandma to die so peacefully soon ... and without pain ... which is important and not possible everywhere ... so it is good, she could make this decision herself ... still it's painful to leave and let her leave, but never for nothing and always also liberating in a way ...

My uncle died all of a sudden about two weeks ago. I never had much contact with him apart from the past two months or so, which I think now was funny, and after all I'm astonished how these few occasions made for every necessary thing between him and me, so that now I feel at peace and I feel certain that he also went in peace ... no regrets, all done.

[iesus]

A big Heartland hug Iz and Marco. So sorry to hear that
Time is the only heal in that cases as i suspect. Wish you be strong at times like these.

[Izzy HaveMercy]

Well, thanks everyone.

Yesternight we went to go and say a final goodbye, we were never a talkative bunch, so the only thing what wat left to say was where all the addresses of relatives could be found in her house

Then we all said our personal goodbyes, our little Noor gave a very hearty "Farewell gran!" and a big crushing hug, I thanked her for everything, she was crying the whole time during the good-byes. To leave the room was a very chilling moment. Knowing that she would now be alone with her own thoughts for a while was tearing me up. I wanted to stay longer but there's nothing more you can do at that moment but sit and, maybe, smile.
They put her under heavy sedation some hours afterwards, that was the plan.

This morning the hospital called she passed away peacefully at about 4.30 hrs.

This is the third one in four years' time, they can stop now for a second.

IZ.

[markfiend]

You're in my thoughts, both of you Izzy and Marco.

[Izzy HaveMercy]

I'm very sad for her Iz, hugs

Me... It's now ten days since when my daughter died after Nine days of coma, still in a bad time

Didn't see that pass by, my gods, all support to you and the family Marco Must feel like Hell...

Hang in there.

IZ.

[sziamiau]

I am so sorry to hear, hope both your families are somewhat ok and trying to handle it. stay strong and take care of yourselves

[eastmidswhizzkid]

Izzy and Marco: same as the others i don't know what to say, except that you have my deepest sympathies and my sincerest hope that you can somehow keep going, despite your pain. it tore me apart when my gran died and as a parent i can only begin to imagine what it must be like to lose a child.

you both have all my love.
Lee

[radiojamaica]

My thoughts are with you guys. Tragic and shocking news...

Izzy, for what it's worth, I do think it was good that you were able to say goodbye and even more important give that last hug and feel each other. That is something you will take with you...
I've been there with my grandfather so many moons ago.

Marco, ... I'm lost for words. Hang in there, mate.

[JansenClone]

One month on from the 25th June. One month on from suddenly losing my dad. No warning. Not even sure if he heard the goodbyes though I did at least get to hold his hand. Went and spent some time by his grave today. I miss him.

[eastmidswhizzkid]

sorry to hear that Michael. its nearly 30 years since i lost my dad and nearly twenty since i lost my mum, both suddenly. i don't think you're ever "old enough" to lose your parents, nor do you ever forget. and though i still miss both of mine (that never goes away either) the pain does subside with time. sorry for the cliche, take care of yourself mate.

[weebleswobble]

Considered moaning about my domestic bliss then read some of the above, Marco and Izzy XXXXXXXXXXX

[Sita]

This topic had totally escaped me. I am so sorry Izzy and Psichonaut!

[JansenClone]

sorry to hear that Michael. its nearly 30 years since i lost my dad and nearly twenty since i lost my mum, both suddenly. i don't think you're ever "old enough" to lose your parents, nor do you ever forget. and though i still miss both of mine (that never goes away either) the pain does subside with time. sorry for the cliche, take care of yourself mate.

Thanks Lee. It's been an unspeakably sad month. I think you're right, some things are just too big to ever be ready for. But I do as ever remain pleasantly surprised at the kindness of people on here. Cheers mate.

[paint it black]

Hang in there mr q.


Sorry to read of your respective loss all

[radiojamaica]

Indeed, hang in there man...

[rien]

I just had a crying fit from the deepest recesses of despair because I have to keep seeing a relative of mine who has tormented me since my childhood, but I'm currently financially dependent on them so I can't tell them that I don't want to see them any more.
The worst is when they tell you they love you and they just want you to be happy, but for them, your happiness equals you having a degree and a job and a husband and 2.5 kids.
I thought antidepressants and therapy would help, but I can't do therapy for both me and said relative.
I've lost all passion, creativity, anything. I don't want to do anything any more. I don't want anything any more.
Sorry for the vent. It'll pass, like always.

Edit: oh, any of course other relatives are like, "but they're your family, you have to put up with them". I can't express how fed up I am with this ridiculous idea that just because you're related to someone, you're obligated to endure them.

[markfiend]

"You can choose your friends, you can't choose your family".

I know that it's easy to say, but sometimes you just have to do what's right for you and if other people can't understand that, well, tough sh-it.