TiC response: well, it's not bad if your idea of a Friday afternoon's fun is nailing a Jew to a couple of bits of wood.
Seriously, though - whenever I go to places where there is either a state-mandated religion, or where there is an overwhelming majority who believe in the same one, I'm always refreshed at the extent to which some peoples' religious beliefs inform everything they do, as distinct from where I live where the belief seems to be a "public" thing while what they do in private has seemingly no bearing on what they believe.
Maybe it's to do with the accessibility of the thing - Christianity in particular sets the clergy apart from the laity (more so with catholicism and the use of latin in the mass), while with something like Islam pretty much anyone can become an Imam - you don't have to be particularly holy, or devout, you just have to have a deep understanding of the Word and more importantly the
spirit of the Word in its entirety (versus the people who take 2 lines of scripture and use it as a basis for Unpleasantness). Mosque is not just where you go to pray - it's the hub around which your whole life revolves. You go there to meet friends, to mediate disputes, to discuss business, to be fed if you're hungry, to take sick animals, to go to school if your parents can't afford to send you to a state school - it's a community centre as well as a place to gather to worship. It's accessible in a way that churches aren't today.
Buddhism is similarly holistic - most people in Buddhist countries spend time in a monastery, either for schooling or for a month or so every year. The faith is part of who they
are, rather than something that they
do. You could argue that it's self-interest, a desire to build merit for the next life, but there never seems to be a sense of duty to it - this is Who I Am, no-one's forcing me.
I've never met a muslim or a buddhist who looked down on me for not belonging to the faith (in contrast to the way I am perceived by some christians), and not one of them has ever been hesitant to explain what they believe, not in an "evangelical" sense, but just in a sort of "if you understand me, and I understand you, then we have an understanding" sort of thing.
I've met wonderful people in these places. Before I went to Syria I'll admit, I was a bit trepidatious, I'd heard Things - similarly in Iran - but everybody, from government officials to imams to the nice chap in Damascus who showed me where to buy the Hizb'Allah flags and the posters of Uncle Hassan, were unstintingly hospitable, friendly, non-threatening, non-hostile, to someone they had never met and had no reason to be nice to. When I asked why, the answer was always along the same lines - "it's how we live, it's what we believe - is it not the same in your country?"
I think it's great that you and Hagar have made a connection. You start with uncertainty, a bit of fear (and I'm sure she's had her share of abuse as a muslim living in Germany), but if your experience shows us anything it is that...well, people are the same. When you stop to talk to them, make an effort to see things from their perspective, you find out that no matter where you're from, or your skin colour, or faith, you have much more in common than you have differences. You and Hagar made an effort, and bingo, you've got a new friend. How awesome is that?!
It's when people put up barriers - I won't vote for you because you don't believe what I do, you can't understand me because you're not (whatever I am), I won't talk to you because you won't accept what I say without questioning it - that's when you get the problems. When people are too quick to perceive a slight, when they fly off the handle instead of stopping to think, "hold on, maybe he said/thinks that because he actually doesn't know any better. Maybe I can help him out, help him understand, so maybe the next time he sees me or someone like me he won't do/say/think that", you get these deeply-entrenched positions which divide us as people.
I don't have a faith - brought up CofE but found the whole "you mustn't question God's plan - you don't know what he's thinking, and you can't ever understand it, so hush up and be thankful that part of his plan was that your old man should die before you were 18" a bit bothersome. But I'd convert to Islam tomorrow (except for the whole no drinking, no fornicating, thing), if it meant that I could spend my retirement sitting in cool marble and tile mosques with soaring ceilings and incredible acoustics, with fountains and gardens in the courtyard, surrounded by ordinary everyday people for whom "faith" means community, brotherhood, charity, helping people.
