Von's April Fool's Day Pranks

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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I have this idea of Von calling up Chris and Ben every April 1st and saying, " let's make a record guys!"

How do you wags think the conversation would go?
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markfiend
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;D I don't think they'd believe him
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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iesus
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The only prank about record :von: can do and be a good one is to release a real record in any april first and be indeed a new record with new songs. Anything else about will simply not work at all... :urff:
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
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stufarq
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Von: "Hello, Christopher. It's me, your Satanic Dark Lord."
Chris: "'Ow do, boss man."
Von: "We've spoken about appropriate forms of address before, Christopher."
Chris: "Andy, I'm a bit busy with one of me other nine bands, who are making an actual record, so can we cut to the chase?"
Von: "Kids these days. No respect for their elders and elder gods."
Chris: "Enough of the goth crap, Andy. Whadda ya want?"
Von: "I want to make a record."
Chris: "Sorry? Not with you."
Von: "An album. I want to make an album."
Chris: "You mean you wanna buy an album?"
Von: "No. I want to make one."
Chris: "Burn one to CD? Do people still do that?"
Von: "No! I want to make an actual album."
Chris: (Long pause) "Nah, you've lost me."
Von: "It's perfectly simple, Christopher. I am desirous of entering a recording studio, performing some songs, committing them to a recorded medium, pressing it on to digital compact disc -"
Chris: "So you do wanna burn a CD!
Von: "Cease thy prattling, worm! As I was saying, before I was so rudely and dangerously interrupted - burning it on to digital compact disc, packaging it in a tasteful manner, and giving it to strangers in exchange for sums of money. Comprendez?"
Chris: (Even longer pause) "You want me to make an album?"
Von: "You'd be involved, yes."
Chris: "I'm already makin' one, I told you."
Von: "A Sisters of Mercy album."
Chris: (A pause so long civilisations rise and fall in the time) "Serious? You wanna make a Sisters album?"
Von: "Indeed."
Chris: "Wow! That's... I mean... wow! Just, well... wow! I never thought... Wait till I tell Ben. This is just, like... wow! Just... 'Ang on. Today's April 1st, innit? You're 'avin' me on, you wind-up merchant."
Von: "No. I mean it. I want to make -"
Chris: "Pull the other one, Andy Pandy."
Von: "Interrupting again. And don't ever call me that."
Chris: "Look, you 'ad me goin', well done an' all that, good 'un like, but I've got work to do for me proper band, so gimme a call when you need fag money again and wanna play some gigs. Later, boss man." (Hangs up)
Von: "You've made your last mistake, Christopher. You're fired, you little turd. And don't even think of suing me."
Any more of that and we'll be round your front door with the quick-setting whitewash and the shaved monkey.
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iesus
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Stu got it right about what i meant in spirit :lol: :lol: ;D :notworthy:
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
Bartek
Underneath the Rock
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Joined: 17 Sep 2005, 10:47

At last, humore, joke about this, not only serious reasoning and defending why they should/don't need to release anything at all.
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eastmidswhizzkid
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humour but not really of a "fuck it -we've laughed at it and moved on" kind.... because unfortunately most true fans are actually gonna hurt and/or hope forever. :?
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"

:bat:
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