Avocado
Baby buy an Avocado, Baby buy a thing to eat
She go talking with her mouth full, she go find the juices sweet
She go walking into Asda, she go walking into Waitrose
See her use it for a mask with passion fruit – exfoliate
She will, she will, she will, she will ... let it take her thirst away
She will, she will, she will, she will ... let it make guacamole
Let it wrap its peel around her
Till it fill her in its way
She will, she will, she will, throw the ... core away
Baby hit it with a pestle, mash the alligator pear
Baby buy the jalapeno, some cayenne, some spicy fare
Baby add the coriander, some tortillas on the side
Friends to feed with enchilada, add some salt from the seaside
She will, she will, she will, she will ... make some tacos de carne
She will, she will, she will, she will ... make some nachos, chipotle
Let it wrap its peel around her
Till it fill her in its way
She will, she will, she will, throw the ... core away
Make the sauce a little thicker, add a shot, pineapple slice
Pour in lime juice, no vinegar, stir the salsa, stir it nice
Pour into a china bowl, go maybe with a little rice
Some mango for them to swallow, seasoned with fajita spice
She will, she will, she will, she will ... let them dip their bread away
She will, she will, she will, let them ... take a doggy bag away
Let it wrap its peel around her
Till it fill her in its way
She will, she will, she will, throw the ... core away
No Time to Fry
Avocado sounds like an instant classic 
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
I like, stufarq, that you kept rythm of original lyrics, plus - it's damn funny. 
Last edited by Bartek on 30 Aug 2016, 13:12, edited 1 time in total.
Alligator Pear is worthy of a band name
Panna cotta + Anaconda = Pannaconda
for Italian desserts lovers. Not my thought just saw it few minuts ago in a photo from a patisserie in Athens
for Italian desserts lovers. Not my thought just saw it few minuts ago in a photo from a patisserie in Athens
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
Inspired by revelations in this thread
https://www.myheartland.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=25609
(I've forgotten how to make clickys!)
Gladys
Gladys edges round the wall
Cos she can’t see the floor
The bin’s just in the corner but
His Lordship don’t know what it’s for
Gladys in her overalls
It’s time to get the Mr Sheen
She don’t get paid nearly enough
To keep this bloody shambles clean
He promised her a good position
But he’s just a lazy slob
Well stick it where the sun don’t shine
And tell him he can shove his job
Today
Today
Dust the crystal spray the bureau
On the sofa Spiggy lies
If he don’t shift hisself right now
He’s going to get a big surprise
Gladys finds Von partly dressed
She’s sick of it and turns away
He needs to change his conduct quick
She’s told him this is not okay
So everything’s going in the bin
If it’s important it’s his loss
He thinks the sun shines out his bum
Well Gladys doesn’t give a toss
Today
Today
Gladys
Don't throw it way
https://www.myheartland.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=25609
(I've forgotten how to make clickys!)
Gladys
Gladys edges round the wall
Cos she can’t see the floor
The bin’s just in the corner but
His Lordship don’t know what it’s for
Gladys in her overalls
It’s time to get the Mr Sheen
She don’t get paid nearly enough
To keep this bloody shambles clean
He promised her a good position
But he’s just a lazy slob
Well stick it where the sun don’t shine
And tell him he can shove his job
Today
Today
Dust the crystal spray the bureau
On the sofa Spiggy lies
If he don’t shift hisself right now
He’s going to get a big surprise
Gladys finds Von partly dressed
She’s sick of it and turns away
He needs to change his conduct quick
She’s told him this is not okay
So everything’s going in the bin
If it’s important it’s his loss
He thinks the sun shines out his bum
Well Gladys doesn’t give a toss
Today
Today
Gladys
Don't throw it way
Any more of that and we'll be round your front door with the quick-setting whitewash and the shaved monkey.
And while 'm here, I thought I'd copy the original to this thread so they're all in one place.
Alan
Alan propped against the wall
Cos he can't reach the door
A bunch of laughing strangers came
With booze and Alan's on the floor
Alan in his party slacks
He's face down in the soup tureen
He'll need a lot of Lemon Duck
To make sure that the toilet's clean
He promised mum nothing would happen
He'd behave while she's away
Told her things would be alright
But now there's sick on mum and dad's duvet
Duvet
Pass the nibbles spread the Marmite
In the bathroom Kenny lies
He couldn't hold four cans of Bud Lite
Now he's brought up six mince pies
Alan had a party Mum'll kill him
Thank God she's away
He needs a decorator fast
So mum'll think it's all okay
He promised her he'd be a good boy
Told her to enjoy her stay
Told her he'd look after things
But what's that stain on mum and dad's duvet
Duvet
Alan
Quick - wash the duvet
Alan
Alan propped against the wall
Cos he can't reach the door
A bunch of laughing strangers came
With booze and Alan's on the floor
Alan in his party slacks
He's face down in the soup tureen
He'll need a lot of Lemon Duck
To make sure that the toilet's clean
He promised mum nothing would happen
He'd behave while she's away
Told her things would be alright
But now there's sick on mum and dad's duvet
Duvet
Pass the nibbles spread the Marmite
In the bathroom Kenny lies
He couldn't hold four cans of Bud Lite
Now he's brought up six mince pies
Alan had a party Mum'll kill him
Thank God she's away
He needs a decorator fast
So mum'll think it's all okay
He promised her he'd be a good boy
Told her to enjoy her stay
Told her he'd look after things
But what's that stain on mum and dad's duvet
Duvet
Alan
Quick - wash the duvet
Any more of that and we'll be round your front door with the quick-setting whitewash and the shaved monkey.
-
Being645
- Wiki Wizard
- Posts: 15272
- Joined: 09 Apr 2009, 12:54
- Location: reconstruction status: whatever the f**k
stufarq wrote:Inspired by revelations in this thread
https://www.myheartland.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=25609
(I've forgotten how to make clickys!)
Gladys
Gladys edges round the wall
Cos she can’t see the floor
The bin’s just in the corner but
His Lordship don’t know what it’s for
Gladys in her overalls
It’s time to get the Mr Sheen
She don’t get paid nearly enough
To keep this bloody shambles clean
He promised her a good position
But he’s just a lazy slob
Well stick it where the sun don’t shine
And tell him he can shove his job
Today
Today
Dust the crystal spray the bureau
On the sofa Spiggy lies
If he don’t shift hisself right now
He’s going to get a big surprise
Gladys finds Von partly dressed
She’s sick of it and turns away
He needs to change his conduct quick
She’s told him this is not okay
So everything’s going in the bin
If it’s important it’s his loss
He thinks the sun shines out his bum
Well Gladys doesn’t give a toss
Today
Today
Gladys
Don't throw it way
... another masterpiece ... ...-
EvilBastard
- Overbomber
- Posts: 3934
- Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
- Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts
stufarq wrote:Inspired by revelations in this thread
https://www.myheartland.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=25609
(I've forgotten how to make clickys!)
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Hank Moody
-
Nikolas Vitus Lagartija
- Overbomber
- Posts: 2485
- Joined: 04 Aug 2011, 23:35
- Location: Scotland
- Contact:
stufarq Perhaps your next comic novel could be about a reclusive non-goth rock star. Purely fictional, naturally (any resemblance etc etc). I would buy it!Nikolas Vitus Lagartija wrote:
I think we all know he'd sue me.Any more of that and we'll be round your front door with the quick-setting whitewash and the shaved monkey.