The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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emilystrange
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Emma, it would be easier if you came here!
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
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UnnaturalDisaster
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Chaotican wrote:Remember when the American Tea Party used to refer to their own members as Tea Baggers? :)
Oh, that was a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Though it's also made me recall this:
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"This is Jenny. She's the family sadist."
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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emilystrange wrote:Emma, it would be easier if you came here!
I just might be in September, some old band is playing
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Swinnow
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The real surprise is that the kids aren't "protecting" their "freedom" with assault rifles!

Meanwhile at the Sheraton, well my kitchen actually, it's time for a chocolate hobnob, no dunkage though, as that would be silly.
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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Charlie
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Well i've ditched the biscuits for once.
There's a giant chocolate egg staring at me and it needs to be eaten right now. I'm gonna stick the kettle on....
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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Regular Hobnobs can be dunked successfully! It's all in the wrist.

Chocolate eggs, not so much.
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
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emilystrange
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote: I just might be in September, some old band is playing
not only are they a good band, they offer a way out of hell.

don't dunk the egg! No!
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
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Charlie
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Don't worry guys, no egg will be dunked!! :lol:
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Swinnow
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:It's all in the wrist.
That's an entirely different thread, but, I fear, a lonely one :innocent:
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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Swinnow wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:It's all in the wrist.
That's an entirely different thread, but, I fear, a lonely one :innocent:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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million voices
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.....and you have to be careful where the crumbs end up
Well you must know something
'Cos we're dying of admiration here
Mastering obscure alternatives
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Microcosmia
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million voices wrote:.....and you have to be careful where the crumbs end up
and dunking would be inadvisable :innocent:
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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Mark your calendars
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
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Microcosmia
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:Mark your calendars
That's my cousin's birthday and her dad was a manager in Jacobs!
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Charlie
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Every day is biscuit day in this house 8)
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UnnaturalDisaster
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Charlie wrote:Every day is biscuit day in this house 8)
[Moves in.]
"This is Jenny. She's the family sadist."
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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EvilBastard wrote:
Microcosmia wrote:Intrigued to know, how do you have an orgy with Earl Grey tea?? It just seems so sedate..
A really good strong cup of Earl Grey at about 4pm will reinvigorate, reenergise, and revitalise the body and mind, it relieves stress, and the bergamot is a mood enhancer. 2 or 3 cups with the right people will have you bouncing off the walls and pondering whether the ceiling joists will hold a fuckswing.

The sedateness is a cunning ploy - we Earl Grey orgiastists don't want everyone to know that we're randy buggers and can't wait to run home, pop the kettle on and christen the patio so we give the impression of being frightfully proper. Trust me on this - we're not! 8)

Combining interests.
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Charlie
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UnnaturalDisaster wrote:
Charlie wrote:Every day is biscuit day in this house 8)
[Moves in.]
'We're gonna need a bigger biscuit tin'
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EvilBastard
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:
Microcosmia wrote:Intrigued to know, how do you have an orgy with Earl Grey tea?? It just seems so sedate..
A really good strong cup of Earl Grey at about 4pm will reinvigorate, reenergise, and revitalise the body and mind, it relieves stress, and the bergamot is a mood enhancer. 2 or 3 cups with the right people will have you bouncing off the walls and pondering whether the ceiling joists will hold a fuckswing.

The sedateness is a cunning ploy - we Earl Grey orgiastists don't want everyone to know that we're randy buggers and can't wait to run home, pop the kettle on and christen the patio so we give the impression of being frightfully proper. Trust me on this - we're not! 8)

Combining interests.
So...if you dunk an Early Grey biscuit in a cup of Earl Grey tea, does it result in an Anomaly? A Singularity? A rift in the fabric of time and space itself? Out of which pops a tiny little weird-looking guy wearing some kind of official hat who takes your tea away hands you a stern note, warning about meddling with Things Beyond Your Understanding?

I'm tempted to try it in order to find out. If you wake up tomorrow to discover that the entire planet has disappeared and you are sitting on a solar-flare-swept hunk of rock 13 million lightyears from earth...yeah, sorry about that :)
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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Charlie
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Just reverse the polarity of the neutron flow before you start and you'll be fine :wink:
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Swinnow
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Is the tiny, weird-looking guy in a hat also wearing sunglasses? :von: :innocent:
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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And is he surrounded by smoke?
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
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Swinnow
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Does he taunt the adoring darklings in a mockney accent?
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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Microcosmia
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EvilBastard wrote:
So...if you dunk an Early Grey biscuit in a cup of Earl Grey tea, does it result in an Anomaly? A Singularity? A rift in the fabric of time and space itself? Out of which pops a tiny little weird-looking guy wearing some kind of official hat who takes your tea away hands you a stern note, warning about meddling with Things Beyond Your Understanding?

I'm tempted to try it in order to find out. If you wake up tomorrow to discover that the entire planet has disappeared and you are sitting on a solar-flare-swept hunk of rock 13 million lightyears from earth...yeah, sorry about that :)
:lol:

It might be a soggy antimatter biscuit quandary.

And all along I thought that the universe was made up of wafers covered in smooth dark matter.

Another myth dunked.
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EvilBastard
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Microcosmia wrote:[It might be a soggy antimatter biscuit quandary.

And all along I thought that the universe was made up of wafers covered in smooth dark matter.

Another myth dunked.
The universe as a plain-chocolate Kit Kat? I could go along with that. Assuming that it was one of the regular 4-bar versions (in the old-style foil wrapper, natch), and not one of these new-fangled and frankly ungodsly "chunky" Kit Kats.

You can dunk them, and they're way better than Tim Tams in that respect.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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