GW4 - Deadline Saturday 1st September 11.30 AM

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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emilystrange
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Well, here we are again. September, when things SHOULD start. Normally at this time in the season the transfer window has caused mayhem and a few wildcards, but that's done away with now and we've got this far on our own wisdom. Steve has told us what that's lead to :lol:
This is the last GW before an international break, so if you have injuries, think about whether you need to sell or bench - you might get away with it. However, your lot might be producing a few poop balls or being vases, so feel free to dump them. No one likes a tree, either.
Points to watch - JoMo being the greatest manager of all time. Don't forget. Berahino might have a resurgence of form but he's been relegated, so you can't pick him.
This week's Games and Guesses, then:

Saturday
Leicester City 12:30 Liverpool Liverpool should win this - Vardy's out and Maguire can't win it by himself. Expect liveliness if nothing else. Salad rules.
Brighton & Hove Albion 15:00 Fulham I fancy Fulham to win this.
Chelsea 15:00 AFC Bournemouth A 3 all draw, but Chelski again made to look very ordinary.
Crystal Palace 15:00 Southampton Oh go on. Zaha will run right and Palace will get a clean sheet.
Everton 15:00 Huddersfield Town I've put Walcott in for Richarlison so he'd better step up. 655,853 other managers have done that as welll, apparently.
West Ham United 15:00 Wolverhampton Wanderers Wet Wolf. Game might be that attractive.
Manchester City 17:30 Newcastle United Lemon Squeezy. 5-0 to City, all Aguero with 5 different assists.

Sunday

Cardiff City 13:30 Arsenal It'll either be a humiliation or jubilation. For whom?
Burnley 16:00 Manchester United Burnley will bounce back from the Europe defeat. MUted are still on the way down before bouncing. Pogba will self destruct.
Watford 16:00 Tottenham Hotspur Practice for the Copacabana Cup. Lloris unlikely to play. Kane hits September without anything to prove - yet. Moura one of the most transferred in players this week. Good game for afternoon sofa surfing.

Arses in gear everyone. Injuries - check. Deadweights - removed. Captain - chosen. Luck - mislaid, best start looking.
Chocks away!
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Pista
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Yay!
Any bets on how many fags Sarri will get through this weekend?
Cheers.
Steve
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emilystrange
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I hear he's banned juice that's not freshly squeezed, if that's any help
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emilystrange wrote:I hear he's banned juice that's not freshly squeezed, if that's any help
To replace all the vitamin C he wipes out with the smokes?
Cheers.
Steve
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emilystrange
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he's a football managr, not a scientist! thank goodness...
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The press at Leicester have been given a phonetic pronunciation sheet for the team

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:lol:
Cheers.
Steve
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Alisson's new boots
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What was he thinking?
Cheers.
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Swinnow
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A win's a win though. Forza Liverpool
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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emilystrange
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what a week...
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:eek:
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Forget half and half scarves. Someone has turned up for Cardiff against Arsenal in a half and half retro shirt.

Stadium ban, surely?
Cheers.
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emilystrange
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I've heard that Etheridge, Cardiff's goalie, has put himself on the bench in his own FPL team. Lost 28 points so far!
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emilystrange wrote:I've heard that Etheridge, Cardiff's goalie, has put himself on the bench in his own FPL team. Lost 28 points so far!
:lol:

This weekend half of my starting XI have come off the bench & not done too much.
Dier's on the bench later, so that's another one. :|
Cheers.
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Mav787
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Low scoring week for everyone
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emilystrange
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Remind me why I spend ages thinking about my team when a tombola machine would do it just as well...
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Haha.
Even AVERAGE won their H2H match
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MadameButterfly
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emilystrange wrote:Remind me why I spend ages thinking about my team when a tombola machine would do it just as well...
ems let the tombola machine do your thinking.
it's all about circles and spirals
that ongoing eternity
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emilystrange
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AVERAGE has already beaten me
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MadameButterfly
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well AVERAGE we have to watch then. Mark is playing him in a few weeks.

gameweek 5 i'm against Stu Stu - The Cult Heroes...do i need to worry?
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emilystrange
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AVERAGE is the fake team we have for H2H so that there's an even number of teams in it.
All you can do in H2H games is hope, lol
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MadameButterfly
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:lol: oh the shame been beaten by a fake team. wtf

i'm still trying to make sense of it all but did another sub a few minutes ago cause one of my players wasn't to hot for wear, i think he tripped over the cat.
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emilystrange
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they're not playing this weekend anyway, Debs - Internationals.
tripping over the cat is quite common
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MadameButterfly
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yeah i do know that but was also checking to see if changes i had made had stuck.

so did what i neededto do when i saw the poor boy wouldn't be able to play so it's sorted now instead of leaving it for later and forgetting to do it.

sometimes there is a wee bit of sense in my madness.
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emilystrange
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:D Good work, Debs.
Just let us know when the next bit of sense is *runs*
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emilystrange wrote:they're not playing this weekend anyway, Debs - Internationals.
tripping over the cat is quite common
& they're dropping like flies already.
Sterling & Laiiama already pulled out of the England squad.
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emilystrange
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I decided to wait until after the internationals in case there was anything to report, and there isn't. Sorry. :lol:
Last week was Back To School. You may read into that what you will. I've also been to see some cricket to fill in, and jolly good it was too. Didn't get to see Cook bat :(
Anyway. GW4 over, International 'what the heck is this for' over. It was a frustrating week for a lot of managers. Although the highest score was 104 and the Dream Team got 120, the average was only 44. Even so, only 13 of our 33 teams got more than average. Is it bad luck, bad picks, or is it just Fantasy? Open your teams and see...
A small round up:

Saturday
Leicester City 1-2 Liverpool Liverpool did win - but not that easily. Alisson had to make four saves. Shame about the one that went in. Mane and Firmino did a lovely job for some manager, just not me. Mane has had 10 shots inside the box so far this season, which makes him very dangerous. Salad did nowt and got subbed off. Milner booked as well as an assist, but he and Robertson with the other assist are looking solid. The Reds wobble a bit but got through.
Brighton & Hove Albion 2-2 Fulham Fulham nearly lost this, but for a missed Groß penalty. Mitrovic is doing very well lately, if you need a change. 6 bookings in this games, including 2 of the three goalscorers.
Chelsea 2-0 AFC Bournemouth A good win, but I’m still not sure about Chelsea. Alonso though is proving a good buy with a clean sheet and an assist. He did get booked. Giroud I just can’t warm to in FPL - maybe his France form will inspire him a bit.
Crystal Palace 0-2 Southampton It wasn’t Palace with a clean sheet. Zaha injured on the Friday, and Palace just don’t win without him. Ings is enjoying his new life and FPL rankings! Austin missed a penalty but Hennessey’s save a highlight for Palace.
Everton 1-1 Huddersfield Town All those managers with a new shiny Walcott groaned as he was subbed off with a rib injury before 60 minutes. Lords above! Pickford made 5 saves, so luck/unluck the name of the game. Another 6 booking fixture.
West Ham United 0-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers Spam’s dismality continues at home. Well done to Wolves. 8 saves in the game, with Fabianski keeping the score to almost decent with 5 of them.
Manchester City 2-1 Newcastle United Credit to Newcastle for not getting stuffed. Lovely goals and assists from amongst the top names at last. Agüero not so hot in general but more points than other ‘must-have’ players.

Sunday

Cardiff City 2-3 Arsenal Hands up who thought Cardiff might get away with something? Some great goals, much better play from Arsenal than of late and real effort from everyone. Etheridge’s 8 saves must have made him a Bluebird favourite. Lacazette took the 3 bonus points with a goal and an assist. 7 yellows - hmm. No need, lads. You are not just playing for your club, you know. Your FPL needs you.
Burnley 0-2 Manchester United Not as predicted but Utd are beginning to do what they should have been doing all along. Pogba missed a penalty for no good reason, and Rashford comes on/gets sent off rather too quickly. Still they won, and only Hart spares Burnley’s blushes with the penalty save and 7 in total. Oh, and Lukaku scored 2. I understand that JoMo (who has kept his mouth shut for a week) ended up on his bum which was probably the most normal thing he's done for a while.
Watford 2-1 Tottenham Hotspur NOT what was on the plan, dammit. Spurs didn’t even manage to score their own goal. Lloris did not play, and as he’s admitted the drink driving he may not be available. Moura did manage an assist so he’s Spurs’ top scorer in that game! First loss, but Watford deserved the win.
Injury list includes Alli, Fellaini, Sterling and Shaw. Thankfully Shaw is ok and may even play.
To the Tables! EIB won the GW but BB&S still in the overall lead.

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The extemely famous and quite smelly Yellow Jersey is ready to be worn by Alisson's Big Gloves - I'm sure it's behaving like memory foam by now.

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The Big Shout Out bellows over to The Cult Heroes with 55

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And finally, the H2H crown with all its prongs rests with Dead Men Walking
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The table for that is

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Over to The Shed for GW, and thanks for coming. It's been lovely, but I need to open a few airshafts now. xxx
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