The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
Post Reply
User avatar
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21181
Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:
Contact markfiend

iesus wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:
markfiend wrote:I think the Russians' problem is that they've heard that proper tea is theft.
Careful with that joke, sir - it's an antique!
That reminds me more of French than Russians, Proudhon if i am not mistaken :lol:
Proudhon indeed. I stand corrected. ;D
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
Top
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3933
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

Even cats know that you shouldn't put this much milk in a cuppa.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Top
abridged
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1431
Joined: 08 Sep 2008, 10:27
Location: Derry
Contact:
Contact abridged

EvilBastard wrote:Even cats know that you shouldn't put this much milk in a cuppa.
People shouldn't put any milk in tea. And certainly not be dunking biscuits digestive or otherwise. :twisted: I may be a bit of a tea fascist. ;D :wink:
The Chancer Corporation
Top
User avatar
mh
Above the Chemist
Posts: 8123
Joined: 23 Jun 2003, 14:41
Location: A city built on rock 'n' roll

abridged wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:Even cats know that you shouldn't put this much milk in a cuppa.
People shouldn't put any milk in tea. And certainly not be dunking biscuits digestive or otherwise. :twisted: I may be a bit of a tea fascist. ;D :wink:
Says the man who puts blackcurrant in Guinness. :urff:

At least you have the decency to not dunk in that.
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
Top
User avatar
Tinker
Road Kill
Posts: 64
Joined: 30 Oct 2019, 18:02
Location: Slough of Despond

I'd dunk something in it. Just not a biscuit.
Monstrous hell bride.
Top
User avatar
Charlie
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1492
Joined: 27 Mar 2017, 19:12
Location: Yorkshire

Tinker wrote:I'd dunk something in it. Just not a biscuit.
:eek:
Top
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3933
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

Manx residents spend 82p a week on chocolate biscuits.

This is the kind of news we need.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Top
abridged
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1431
Joined: 08 Sep 2008, 10:27
Location: Derry
Contact:
Contact abridged

mh wrote:
abridged wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:Even cats know that you shouldn't put this much milk in a cuppa.
People shouldn't put any milk in tea. And certainly not be dunking biscuits digestive or otherwise. :twisted: I may be a bit of a tea fascist. ;D :wink:
Says the man who puts blackcurrant in Guinness. :urff:

At least you have the decency to not dunk in that.
I will convert you yet Mr. Michael! I thought a Sisters forum would be the natural home for purple Guinness drinkers! Has nobody any sense of history?! :wink: ;D
The Chancer Corporation
Top
abridged
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1431
Joined: 08 Sep 2008, 10:27
Location: Derry
Contact:
Contact abridged

Charlie wrote:
Tinker wrote:I'd dunk something in it. Just not a biscuit.
:eek:
:eek: Seconded.
The Chancer Corporation
Top
User avatar
Charlie
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1492
Joined: 27 Mar 2017, 19:12
Location: Yorkshire

EvilBastard wrote:Manx residents spend 82p a week on chocolate biscuits.

This is the kind of news we need.
There is a separate listing for ’chocolate biscuits - anything coated, fully or partly in chocolate - excluding chocolate chip'


That's a whole new debate right there - when is a chocolate biscuit not a chocolate biscuit!

:lol: :lol:
Top
User avatar
Tinker
Road Kill
Posts: 64
Joined: 30 Oct 2019, 18:02
Location: Slough of Despond

:innocent:
Top
User avatar
XidiouX
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 301
Joined: 09 Oct 2011, 02:51

Empire biscuits of course.
Top
User avatar
iesus
Overbomber
Posts: 4455
Joined: 15 Mar 2006, 11:15
Location: x-EU

abridged wrote:....
purple Guinness
...
:eek: :eek:
What is that? :roll:
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
Top
User avatar
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21181
Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:
Contact markfiend

iesus wrote:
abridged wrote:....
purple Guinness
...
:eek: :eek:
What is that? :roll:
Guinness with a shot of blackcurrant cordial.

Yes, really.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
Top
abridged
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1431
Joined: 08 Sep 2008, 10:27
Location: Derry
Contact:
Contact abridged

markfiend wrote:
iesus wrote:
abridged wrote:....
purple Guinness
...
:eek: :eek:
What is that? :roll:
Guinness with a shot of blackcurrant cordial.

Yes, really.
Nectar of the Gods. Only appreciated by the select few! :wink:
The Chancer Corporation
Top
User avatar
iesus
Overbomber
Posts: 4455
Joined: 15 Mar 2006, 11:15
Location: x-EU

Sounds interesting ;D
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
Top
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17627
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:
Contact Pista

Bring it on!

Image
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days
TheCureCommunity
Top
User avatar
Charlie
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1492
Joined: 27 Mar 2017, 19:12
Location: Yorkshire

Pista wrote:Bring it on!

Image
They do kinda look like cat turds though :lol: :lol: :lol:
Top
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17627
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:
Contact Pista

:eek:

:lol:
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days
TheCureCommunity
Top
abridged
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1431
Joined: 08 Sep 2008, 10:27
Location: Derry
Contact:
Contact abridged

Pista wrote:Bring it on!

Image
Methinks Sirrah that you have just declared war! Name your second! Pistols at dawn! :wink:
The Chancer Corporation
Top
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17627
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:
Contact Pista

abridged wrote:Name your second!
Hang on a sec...... *dials phone number*


....Hello? Mum? You free early tomorrow?.... :innocent:
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days
TheCureCommunity
Top
abridged
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1431
Joined: 08 Sep 2008, 10:27
Location: Derry
Contact:
Contact abridged

Pista wrote:
abridged wrote:Name your second!
Hang on a sec...... *dials phone number*


....Hello? Mum? You free early tomorrow?.... :innocent:
Heh. Hmmm in that case maybe a pint rather than a duel? :wink: Now can I interest you in a purple Guinness? ;D :wink:
The Chancer Corporation
Top
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17627
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:
Contact Pista

abridged wrote: Heh. Hmmm in that case maybe a pint rather than a duel? :wink: Now can I interest you in a purple Guinness? ;D :wink:
:lol: :lol:

That's one drink I won't be dunking a biccie in :D
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days
TheCureCommunity
Top
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

oh go one, just to see what happens.
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
Top
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3933
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

Oh best beloveds, the time has come to share with you the most momentous news. Are you ready for this?

FUCT is pleased, proud, and honoured to announce that, in partnership with Netflix, it is sponsoring Vir Das' comedy special, "Vir Das: for India". In recognition of this, Mr Das has included in his routine an homage, not only to tea, but to the dunking of biscuits therein. Specifically, the Parle G biscuit which, in his benighted ignorance, he claims is the best biscuit in the world (sure, we gave them independence, but there was no effing way we were going to let them get their paws on Our Noble Bourbons, dammit!). While he is of course wrong, in this assessment, we here at FUCT recognise that he has to play to his home crowd.

Anyway, should you feel so inclined I heartily recommend this show to you, not only because of the biscuit-dunking material, but also the rest his stuff isn't bad either.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Top
Post Reply

Return to “General Chat”