The Darkness

[emilystrange]

i'm ashamed of you.

[Candover Premiere]

I'm ashamed for you.

[emilystrange]

are you ashamed of me for me, or of you for me?

[James Blast]

I'm invisible

[Candover Premiere]

now i'm just confused. can we go back to baboons pls?

[CorpPunk]

are you ashamed of me for me, or of you for me?

That got me confused, too. Anticipate the worst.

[CorpPunk]

I'm invisible

Hello!

[Candover Premiere]

I'm invisible

such is the intangible nature of the internet, sonny.

[Candover Premiere]

No. But it was very good. The film crew set up infra red cameras to watch them as they crept into the hole, down the sides of the 10ft drop and onto the floor of the cave. It had a low ceiling and was completely dark. It ran for about 200 yards down and down to a small flat space where the troupe slept, safe from predators. Conveniently the bats who inhabited it at night left at dusk and came back at dawn, so they acted as a sort of alarm call, which was necessary in view of the darkness. It was, perhaps, the funniest TV I have ever seen and I am still laughing about it. Not obviously so, just on reflection... It was funny for one reason, and that was the fact that none of them could see where they were going. They whooped and grunted together as they played follow-my-leader down to the sleeping quarters. They all kept in close touch and didn't always get it perfectly right. They patted the floor reassuringly to feel their way along, chatting as they did so. I LONGED to speak baboon so I could get what they were saying.

Well I reckon it would have gone something like this.

B1: ok…ok…easy does it… Now then…follow me you lot I've done this befo…SH1T! That was my head. Bollox, bollox, bollox , that hurt. OK, and …OW ! Slow up at the back will you?

B2: sorry, was that you Kenny?

B3: no, Kenny's over here.

B4: Hey, who are you calling Kenny? I'm Giles.

B2: sorry. Kenny? Are you there? Kenny? KENNY! SPEAK TO ME! Hey guys WE'VE LOST KENNY!!!!!

B1: it's ok, calm down. Calm down. He's here. Kenny, make yourself known.

Kenny: ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAR

B1: OK Kenny, quit arsing around will you?

Kenny: it wasn't me. There's a lion in here.

All: What?

Kenny: joke.

B1: stop this, right now. OK? Now then, everyone moving forward slowly, aaaaaand one, and two and…

B2: Wait.

B1: HALT! What?

B2: Sorry, I thought I was going to sneeze.

B1: Oh for feck's sake.

B3: Is he?

B1: is he what?

B3: is he going to sneeze?

B4: yeah, like we've got a right to know man? WHOAH slow down at the back again, we've stopped. Mind my ass. It's kind of inflamed.

B5: Why have we stopped?

B4: B2 is going to sneeze.

B2: No. I'm ok. Carry on.

B1: Right aaaaaand forward, and …

B2: WAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

B1: oh for the love of GOD, people! Right, now let's get a move on. The bats will be back before we've even got to the sleeping quarters. And one, and two,

B4: Hey, Kenny?

Kenny: Yeah Patsy?

B4: I can see your ass.

Kenny: Yeah babe. I'm hot.

B4: you should get it seen to.

Kenny: why?

B4: it's got a crack in it.

All: hahahahahahahahahahaha GOOD ONE Patsy!

B1: SILEEEENCE! The next person to talk gets a…whoa... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh…..Thump.

B2: what happened?

B3: I dunno?

B4: where d'e go?

B2: don't know. I'll assume command. Follow
me…and one…and two…

B1: [hey guys mind the ste..]

All: Wuerrrrrrrghaaaaaaaaaaaaghh THUMP

B1: HEY GET OFF ME YOU LOT!

[CorpPunk]