The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Pista
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EvilBastard wrote:
05 Aug 2020, 15:51

But I'm afraid that I must take the gloves off. This is the final straw - clearly they're just trying my patience now, and enough is enough. Every man has his limit, and this is mine.
Heathens.
Burn them all!
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EvilBastard
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Pista wrote:
05 Aug 2020, 16:31
EvilBastard wrote:
05 Aug 2020, 15:51

But I'm afraid that I must take the gloves off. This is the final straw - clearly they're just trying my patience now, and enough is enough. Every man has his limit, and this is mine.
Heathens.
Burn them all!
Certainly burning them all would be my first choice. But then I thought, what about burning almost all of them and leaving one alive (possibly without hands so he cannot contemplate making tea in a microwave) so that when visitors gazed upon the shattered landscape, the razed houses, the burned crops, the ground sewn with salt, the vast funeral pyres that stretched as far as the eye could see, their smoke blotting out the sun while the acrid stench of charred flesh assailed the visitors' nostrils, and they wondered "what happened here?", then he can tell them. It may take a village to raise a child, but sometimes it takes an entire civilisation to be destroyed to preserve the art of proper tea-making.
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EvilBastard wrote:
05 Aug 2020, 15:51
But I'm afraid that I must take the gloves off. This is the final straw - clearly they're just trying my patience now, and enough is enough. Every man has his limit, and this is mine.
To the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee!
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Till Shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Teablighter's eye on the Last Day.
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Time to learn something very important


You're welcome :D
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Laws that keep civilization from falling: Don't use teabags. Don't put milk in tea. Don't dunk anything in said milkless tea. We really should have a Tea Police. I almost wrote we really should have a Tea Party but realised that didn't turn out very well in the US. :wink: :lol:
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Here we go
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emilystrange
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well then, so is a Kit Kat
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Pista wrote:
13 Aug 2020, 10:20
Time to learn something very important


You're welcome :D
Apparently this sign comes from miming the action of knocking the weevils out of your daily ration of ship's biscuit.

You're welcome ;D
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Nicola Sturgeon opening a can of worms here
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emilystrange
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Never mind that. Our @timsinister has been trying out Yorkshire Tea's Toast and Jam flavour.
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I ate far too many Bourbon bikkies yesterday.
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what, one?
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emilystrange wrote:
13 Oct 2020, 16:54
what, one?
Image
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emilystrange
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:lol:
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emilystrange wrote:
11 Oct 2020, 19:21
Never mind that. Our @timsinister has been trying out Yorkshire Tea's Toast and Jam flavour.
It was certainly... unusual! :eek:
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Where can a body get decent Garibaldi these days?

I went a-hunting for some a while back and all I could find was Tesco own-brand, which had too much biscuit and not enough dried fruit filling.
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I just can't keep living on dreams no more
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Was gulled into eating what looked like normal milk choc digestives. They didn't taste quite right, but put that down to them absorbing flavour from other biscuits. THEY WERE STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM ONES which is odd because they tasted orangey. They were ok, but not agaon, thanks
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I’ve just found this thread. I have some catching up to do. I shall be busy for the next day or two
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OLDFART
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Just seen this thread as well , always likes Nice biscuits and custard creams :D
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On a slight tangent. They're selling dunkin donuts in my local Spar now. The question is do the type of people exist that actually dunk them? Strikes me as even worse than the types that ruin tea by putting biscuit in it! :twisted: :wink:
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OLDFART wrote:
19 Nov 2020, 07:02
...always likes Nice biscuits...
Image
Trigonometry. It's a sin.
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:lol:
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OLDFART
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mh wrote:
19 Nov 2020, 15:30
OLDFART wrote:
19 Nov 2020, 07:02
...always likes Nice biscuits...
Image
There nice !
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