What randoms post on Twitter is news now?The BBC wrote:Dr Bryony Coombs tweeted: "Good morning to everyone in Edinburgh who woke in the middle of the night to huge crashes of thunder, lightning and snow."
And Edinpotter63 tweeted: "Good morning from snowy Edinburgh. Woken up at 04:40 by thundersnow!".
Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11
-
markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
- Posts: 21181
- Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
- Location: st custards
- Contact:
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
-
Quiff Boy
- Herr Administrator
- Posts: 16794
- Joined: 25 Jan 2002, 00:00
- Location: Lurking and fixing
- Contact:
if it's a catchy phrase, i guess somarkfiend wrote: ↑04 Dec 2020, 10:13What randoms post on Twitter is news now?The BBC wrote:Dr Bryony Coombs tweeted: "Good morning to everyone in Edinburgh who woke in the middle of the night to huge crashes of thunder, lightning and snow."
And Edinpotter63 tweeted: "Good morning from snowy Edinburgh. Woken up at 04:40 by thundersnow!".
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
It's been a tough year for retailers & artists but spare a thought for Nick Cave as nobody wants to buy his wallpaper
Now that wearing a mask is the considered okay in day to day activities, you might want to remember that the next time you're robbing a bank
-
EvilBastard
- Overbomber
- Posts: 3933
- Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
- Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts
One of the biking magazines in the UK (might have been Performance Bike) used to issue stickers that you could put on your bike or your lid - like a little red wedge for the top end of your rev counter that said "She'll no' take any more, cap'n!". One of the give-aways was a label to go below the visor that said "Hand over the money and no-one gets hurt".Pista wrote: ↑06 Dec 2020, 10:28 Now that wearing a mask is the considered okay in day to day activities, you might want to remember that the next time you're robbing a bank
A friend of mine had this on her lid, and late one evening pulled in to a 24-hour garage to fill up. Went to the window to pay, the spotty yoof behind the glass took her card and said "It'll just take a minute, the machine's rebooting." So she's standing there waiting, spotty yoof keeps smiling, pointing at the card machine. 3 minutes later the local plod's ARV screams onto the forecourt, lights blazing - plod leaps out, guns at the ready, yelling at her to lie down and not move.
Turns out that a week previous the garage had been robbed at gunpoint and they'd installed a silent alarm connected to armed response as a result. Spotty yoof saw the sticker on her helmet and leaped to conclusions.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Hank Moody
-
EvilBastard
- Overbomber
- Posts: 3933
- Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
- Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts
If the Biccies don't write a song called Porno Anaglypta then there's something seriously rotten in the state of Birkinhead.Pista wrote: ↑04 Dec 2020, 15:17 It's been a tough year for retailers & artists but spare a thought for Nick Cave as nobody wants to buy his wallpaper
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Hank Moody
Behold. The T.U.R.D.I.S. It's bog-ger on the inside
Big banana brightens Bournemouth man's year
Woman, furious that her garden storage hasn't been installed, unleashes on.... *shakes magic-8-ball*....... Shed Seven
-
EvilBastard
- Overbomber
- Posts: 3933
- Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
- Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts
Let's be honest and ask ourselves, who among us has not seriously desired to take a swing at one of the arseholes we have to work with during a team-building exercise (although, admittedly, none of the ones I've been unfortunate to have to attend have involved all-day drinking).
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Hank Moody
You have taken my toilet's virginity. This is a criminal act!
-
Quiff Boy
- Herr Administrator
- Posts: 16794
- Joined: 25 Jan 2002, 00:00
- Location: Lurking and fixing
- Contact:
that's fair
the last apartment block i lived in was a new-build, so i was the first person to live in that apartment
which also meant i was the first person to use that toilet
it still had the tape around it and the protective covering...
there was something deeply satisfying about unwrapping a toilet and knowing you were the first person to have a poo on it
the last apartment block i lived in was a new-build, so i was the first person to live in that apartment
which also meant i was the first person to use that toilet
it still had the tape around it and the protective covering...
there was something deeply satisfying about unwrapping a toilet and knowing you were the first person to have a poo on it
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
For all your steel-plate capped log smashing into your crotch needs, iron crotch kung fu
It could be a grenade or whale vomit. Try poking it with a hot pin to find out
-
eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
- Posts: 9876
- Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
- Location: WhizzWorld
- Contact:
lucky bastards . i never find hand grenades. that would be awesomePista wrote: ↑14 Dec 2020, 09:28 It could be a grenade or whale vomit. Try poking it with a hot pin to find out
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
Sure beats finding whale vomiteastmidswhizzkid wrote: ↑14 Dec 2020, 09:41lucky bastards . i never find hand grenades. that would be awesomePista wrote: ↑14 Dec 2020, 09:28 It could be a grenade or whale vomit. Try poking it with a hot pin to find out
-
eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
- Posts: 9876
- Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
- Location: WhizzWorld
- Contact:
Yupp Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
"Yes, what can I get you?"..."I'd like a rat please."....."Er, we don't sell rats."...."But you've got one in the window."
Son wins lawsuit against his mother for...*checks notes*......chucking out his favourite jazz mags
-
Swinnow
- Overbomber
- Posts: 3551
- Joined: 15 Mar 2005, 08:51
- Location: In the Gazebo Of Badness, just outside BD3
Initially I read this as involving a certain well known, but losing, Spurs striker.Pista wrote: ↑18 Dec 2020, 11:05 Son wins lawsuit against his mother for...*checks notes*......chucking out his favourite jazz mags
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
-
markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
- Posts: 21181
- Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
- Location: st custards
- Contact:
Twenty-five grand's worth of pr0n is quite some collection!Pista wrote: ↑18 Dec 2020, 11:05 Son wins lawsuit against his mother for...*checks notes*......chucking out his favourite jazz mags
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
-
MadameButterfly
- HL's mystical safekeeper
- Posts: 6940
- Joined: 12 Jul 2005, 09:29
- Location: in my own galaxy
oh lordy that must have made quite a mess, unless you had a poo in it instead of on it!
it's all about circles and spirals
that ongoing eternity
that ongoing eternity
Ban this this filth!