The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Pista
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Dunk 'em or don't dunk 'em. Either way happy national biscuit day everyone :D

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emilystrange
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The best bet is just to eat them.
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elamanamou
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I think my favourite Biscuits are Danish Delights and Mint Viscounts
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Swinnow
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....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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Controversial tweet alert!
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abridged
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Oh come on, pink wafers and jammy Dodgers were always first to go in the Christmas biccie tins! And cookies don't exist, except in America. 😉
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abridged wrote: ↑16 Sep 2021, 08:20 Oh come on, pink wafers and jammy Dodgers were always first to go in the Christmas biccie tins! And cookies don't exist, except in America. 😉
I have to admit that, whenever i buy an assortment, I will eat the dodgy ones first to save the best till last.
Wine gums a case in point. Orange & yellow first to go. Black & red will always be left to last. ;D
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markfiend
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Weetabix? WEETABIX? What maniac voted for Weetabix as a biscuit?
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markfiend wrote: ↑16 Sep 2021, 10:06 Weetabix? WEETABIX? What maniac voted for Weetabix as a biscuit?
I'm pro-dunking but can you imagine the scenes if you tried with Weetabix? :urff:
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And Jaffa cakes aren't even biscuits. It is known.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
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emilystrange
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I'm with Steve, except for never ever willingly eating a pink wafer.
I have about 200 jaffa cakes in my classroom cupboard, donated by parents.
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See, pink wafers were quite posh over my way. Only ever seen at Christmas!
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emilystrange
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once a year is too much!
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emilystrange wrote: ↑16 Sep 2021, 20:35
I have about 200 jaffa cakes in my classroom cupboard, donated* by parents.
*confiscated from packed lunch boxes

:innocent:
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emilystrange
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indeed not! they came in a large box! :D
i don't go near children's lunch boxes, i haven't got a deathwish
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Whisky. Tango. Foxtrot? :urff:
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markfiend
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Pista wrote: ↑20 Sep 2021, 15:21 Whisky. Tango. Foxtrot? :urff:
It's what Alan Partridge might call "the worth of boast worlds".
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:lol:
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The new Sisters biography informs in a footnote that :von: and Gary were fans of fruit shortcake, the greatest biscuit of them all. Now the next question is, of course, do they dunk?!!!
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abridged wrote: ↑11 Nov 2021, 22:19 The new Sisters biography informs in a footnote that :von: and Gary were fans of fruit shortcake, the greatest biscuit of them all. Now the next question is, of course, do they dunk?!!!
Fruit shortcake is just one step away from Garibaldi. This could be either a good thing or a bad thing.
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It's quite interesting, you know, the number of biscuits that are named after revolutionaries. You've got your Garibaldi, of course, you've got your Bourbons, then of course you've got your Peek Freens Trotsky Assortment. [sings] "Revolutionary biscuits of Italy / Rise up out of your box! / You have nothing to lose but your wafers / Yum yum yum yum yum!"
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emilystrange
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Marky, are you ok? :D
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markfiend wrote: ↑12 Nov 2021, 11:47 It's quite interesting, you know, the number of biscuits that are named after revolutionaries. You've got your Garibaldi, of course, you've got your Bourbons, then of course you've got your Peek Freens Trotsky Assortment. [sings] "Revolutionary biscuits of Italy / Rise up out of your box! / You have nothing to lose but your wafers / Yum yum yum yum yum!"
You've been reading the Readers Digestive. Ahem. Sorry. :wink:
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markfiend
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Heathens! :lol: Have none of you seen the "Bambi" episode of The Young Ones?
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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eastmidswhizzkid
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i refuse to read 30+ pages about biscuits just because i am feeling left out so ive ignored all thats gone before and have only this to say:
SHORTBREAD. ;D MMMMMMMMMMMMMM-yumm-yumminy-yumm!
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