Goodbye

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Candover Premiere
Road Kill
Posts: 99
Joined: 29 Jan 2004, 17:06

So, 100 again, and time for Candover Premiere, Candy to his favourite sinful sister, to declare his innings at the magic number.

A confused child of even more confused parentage, Handover was conceived at a time when all on the forum lived in fear of the mighty apostrophe. This did not bode well for Handover, who, coming from Belgium, was perhaps less well versed in the basics of English grammar than some of the other posters on heartland.

However, Candovery was a fast learner, and quickly learnt the linguistic errors in phrases such as "balls of a dog" and "A woman can be beautiful but she is much more beautiful if you meat her talk to her and find that you like what you meat", culminating in a heartwarming and touching tribute to the newly bowdlerized James D Ritchie the Third and the girl with the trellis dress to the tune of My Way.

In musical tastes, Handy Candy pushed the cause of Crowded House with little success on the forum, but met with a warmer reception when he revealed, in his mid twenties (posts), that he owned a rose of avalanche and new model army album. Some say that this good work was undone when he mixed the lyrics of 225 with those of insania, a song by another rock icon of our age. As a consequence, Carrie Poppins vowed never to listen to Thunder and Consolation again.

In his spare time, Legover could often been found dining at the table of his Belgian friend and heartland masterchef, Randdebiel. There eating belgian frites (which languish somewhere between the fat, but smugly self-assured, english chip and the thin, flakey french fry) and supping a Maes Pils poured by Red Sunsets he would regale the assorted crowd with stories of his latest adventures with his constant companion, Dyson DC07, the prime hoover.

In his later years (posts) Candy Pandy contented himself with enquiry as to the nature of the darkness, reminiscing over great 20th century authors with Ms Strange (Enid Blyton, Claudine at St Clares), speculating over the behaviour of baboons in the dark (a sadly underrated post, one of his finest) and seeing how many times he could get Black Horizon to call him a crazy b*stard (only twice).

Lips sealed to the last, Candover Premiere leaves few in mourning at his departure, save the private equity house whose name he took and the beautiful corporate punk whose initials he stole together with a few precious moments in another world.

As foretold in an earlier post, his much anticipated death came from the great blackberry in the sky, which will be coming to get all of you in time. And then you will never be free again.

http://www.blackberry.com/

Goodbye.

.
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markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21181
Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
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:notworthy:
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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Scardwel
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1096
Joined: 28 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: York

see you next time then, when you've "regenerated" Dr Who style. :notworthy:
The Scene won't save you...
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Thrash Harry
Utterly Bastard Filthy
Posts: 1577
Joined: 13 May 2003, 20:56
Location: Over The Hill And Far Away
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There ain't 'alf been some clever bastards...
Go to sleep now, Francis.
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Silver_Owl
The Don
Posts: 7498
Joined: 27 Sep 2003, 18:52

lucky bleeders...lucky bleeders......
We forgive as we forget
As the day is long.
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Mrs RicheyJames
Overbomber
Posts: 4128
Joined: 10 Feb 2003, 00:33
Location: Rick Astley's house. Trying to find out why he chooses to look like Timsinister.

:notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy:

Bye then...................
Only a paand.
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Black Shuck
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 848
Joined: 05 Feb 2003, 14:02
Location: Sitting in a sleazy snack bar, sucking sickly sausage rolls
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(Adopts Jimmy Somerville voice) "Don't leave me this way..."
Gazza for England manager
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andymackem
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1191
Joined: 17 Dec 2003, 10:11
Location: Darkest Durham

Self indulgent? Toi?

Looking forward to the next one :)
Names are just a souvenir ...
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
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6FeetOver
Childlike Empress
Posts: 7683
Joined: 25 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: way on down south, New London town...
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andymackem wrote:Looking forward to the next one :)
Ditto. :twisted:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Jim
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1043
Joined: 28 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Temporarily detained in Yorkshire
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How many's he on now? 400? 500?
"You do realize you're talking to a man with a human head in his hands who has every intention of using it to beat these people to death?"
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James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

I thought using multiple names was a no no...... KewBee?
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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Mrs RicheyJames
Overbomber
Posts: 4128
Joined: 10 Feb 2003, 00:33
Location: Rick Astley's house. Trying to find out why he chooses to look like Timsinister.

He's not using them at the same time. I think that's the difference. Could be wrong!!! (prob am!!)
Only a paand.
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Black Planet
Andrew's Love Goddess
Posts: 2170
Joined: 02 Jun 2003, 20:16

Jim wrote:How many's he on now? 400? 500?
Probably. Nice to see you again Jim.
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RicheyJames
Bad Tempered Young Man
Posts: 1098
Joined: 02 Jun 2002, 01:00
Location: far beyond the pale

Red Sunsets wrote:I thought using multiple names was a no no...... KewBee?
i think that's entirely at the discretion of our very own benevolent dictator.
"contradictions are meaningless, there's nothing to betray"
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Quiff Boy
Herr Administrator
Posts: 16795
Joined: 25 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Lurking and fixing
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Sexygoth wrote:He's not using them at the same time. I think that's the difference. Could be wrong!!! (prob am!!)
that is certainly an important factor.

it also helps if you don't hide the fact that you are the same person :roll:
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
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Mrs RicheyJames
Overbomber
Posts: 4128
Joined: 10 Feb 2003, 00:33
Location: Rick Astley's house. Trying to find out why he chooses to look like Timsinister.

Quiff Boy wrote: that is certainly an important factor.
You sound like a teacher :lol:
Can I have a gold star please? oh no in fact, can you make it a silver one please? Gold doesn't suit me and it's not very goth is it? :lol:
Only a paand.
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6FeetOver
Childlike Empress
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Quiff Boy wrote:it also helps if you don't hide the fact that you are the same person :roll:
LOL! Exactly. Some might wish to take note... :von: :roll:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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6FeetOver
Childlike Empress
Posts: 7683
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Sexygoth wrote:Gold doesn't suit me and it's not very goth is it? :lol:
Correct. Gold is tacky and horrid and looks *arse* with g*ff attire. :x :von:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Mrs RicheyJames
Overbomber
Posts: 4128
Joined: 10 Feb 2003, 00:33
Location: Rick Astley's house. Trying to find out why he chooses to look like Timsinister.

SINsister wrote:
Sexygoth wrote:Gold doesn't suit me and it's not very goth is it? :lol:
Correct. Gold is tacky and horrid and looks *arse* with g*ff attire. :x :von:
apart from if it's lettering on a special sisters DVD that was made just for me :D 8)
Only a paand.
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CorpPunk
Pirate of Penzance
Posts: 882
Joined: 29 Sep 2003, 05:48

:P
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Padstar
Utterly Bastard Smurph
Posts: 1800
Joined: 26 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Purplerainsville, UK
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Candover going ???? Im a broken man..... no really!

;)

Paddy
Still playing guitar - sometimes weird shaped ones.
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Mrs RicheyJames
Overbomber
Posts: 4128
Joined: 10 Feb 2003, 00:33
Location: Rick Astley's house. Trying to find out why he chooses to look like Timsinister.

<In a really gay voice> ooh Paddy, you bitch
Only a paand.
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