Lunchtime drinking

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Thrash Harry
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... does wonders for your creativity. A subsidiary of the company I work for has recently launched a magazine about cricket. My boss was asking me the other day about some work I had done linking our supplier payments through to the BACS system (bear with me, the puncline's worth it) cos they want to set up a subscriptions database using BACS to collect direct debits. As this magazine is the brainchild of our MD (the guy who owns the whole shebang) and our Finance Director (my boss' boss), I was reluctant to say those immortal words: "Sounds like a piece of p!ss. When do they want it by?" But one pint of Beamish later...

Assuming I can think of a half plausible reason to come up with the acronym BAT, some fun could be had. They'd buy the name as it's obviously crickect related. And in a few weeks time I'd be able to email the office:

Could everyone please ensure they log out correctly tonight as we are going to release the BATs.
Go to sleep now, Francis.
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markfiend
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BACS automatic transfer (system)?
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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Black Dahlia
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BACS is the Devils work ! :lol:
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Quiff Boy
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Black Dahlia wrote:BACS is the Devils work ! :lol:
its what gets my money from my employers into my bank account every month, and for that i like it 8)
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
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Purple Light
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I used to work for Bacs as it happens (useless info for U)

I managed to get 3 pints down this lunchtime.
Nobody at work apart from me pretty much though, its boring.
Brought it a few CD's to listen to though.
Currently on Bowie's Greatest Hits!
“I got lost in the mirror, wondering what could have been, I couldn’t help but kill her, but I couldn’t kill the dream.”
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Mrs. Snowey
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Thrash Harry wrote:... Assuming I can think of a half plausible reason to come up with the acronym BAT, some fun could be had. They'd buy the name as it's obviously crickect related. And in a few weeks time I'd be able to email the office:

Could everyone please ensure they log out correctly tonight as we are going to release the BATs.
Banking Automated Transaction mate. Because even though I'll never read your email, I would love for you to be able to send it :D

Let us all know if you convinced them :lol:
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Thrash Harry
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Black Dahlia wrote:BACS is the Devils work!
Indeed. We recently received a letter from one of our smaller suppliers excusing their inability to comply with our request to send their invoices to us electronically because (and I paraphrase):

We do not use computers, much less the internet, since the Bible tells us that in the period leading upto the Judgement Day, there will be terrible advances in communications which the Devil will use to further his own ends.

I kid you not.
Go to sleep now, Francis.
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Thrash Harry
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markfiend wrote:BACS automatic transfer (system)?
Mrs. Snowey wrote:Banking Automated Transaction
Well, yes, but BACS itself stands for Bankers Automated Clearing Services and I was thinking more of a name for the subscriptions database. I'm erring towards Billing And Ting...
Mrs. Snowey wrote:Let us all know if you convinced them
My boss seems to think it will distract us from more important work, but I won't let it lie!

I'm also chasing the job of stand in Unix system administrator, so I can issue the warning:

The Sun machine is coming down...

Edit: going/ coming :oops:
Go to sleep now, Francis.
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Andy TG
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Thrash Harry wrote:
Black Dahlia wrote:BACS is the Devils work!
Indeed. We recently received a letter from one of our smaller suppliers excusing their inability to comply with our request to send their invoices to us electronically because (and I paraphrase):

We do not use computers, much less the internet, since the Bible tells us that in the period leading upto the Judgement Day, there will be terrible advances in communications which the Devil will use to further his own ends.

I kid you not.
@ Thrash Harry

To Semi-Quote "Monty Python"

"Bloody Christian's, Having Bloody Children, They Cant Afford To Bloody Feed! ;-) (Meaning Of Life - Glasgow Scene)

(Not offence meant to anyone - in particular Squirrels!)
This Is Not Ordinary S & M
This Is M & S S & M
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Thrash Harry
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Andy, do the orgasmic calculations in your by-line assume one each or mutiples for the ladies? Or are they more disappointingly realistic than that? Where are the mathematicians when you need them?
Go to sleep now, Francis.
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Andy TG
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Thrash Harry wrote:Andy, do the orgasmic calculations in your by-line assume one each or mutiples for the ladies? Or are they more disappointingly realistic than that? Where are the mathematicians when you need them?
My Calculator is Dead, My Batteries are Flat, and I just cant think about AC/DC :eek:
This Is Not Ordinary S & M
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James Blast
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My House of Pain contracted our 'corporate' printing to an outfit of Plymouth Brethren. For some bizarre reason (said outfit), will use the landline, but not fax, computers or mobiles.

OK, you figure that one out?

Their printing is flawless, but it takes 5 times longer to reach us.
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
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