Gimme Shelter

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
Post Reply

Do estate agents and conveyancers serve any worthwhile function in society?

Yes
3
18%
No
14
82%
 
Total votes: 17
User avatar
andymackem
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1191
Joined: 17 Dec 2003, 10:11
Location: Darkest Durham

Is there any law that prohibits the killing of estate agents? I'm currently at the bottom of a six-property chain to buy a flat (my first time, I'm a bit nervous) and it's driving me nuts.

The first completion date I had was six weeks ago, but was pulled at the 11th hour (not that anyone told me or my solicitors officially, you understand). We were told there was a further four-week delay.

Six weeks on, still waiting.

What exactly is it that all the hundreds of people who get paid to interfere with this transaction actually do? From what I can see it involves sitting on their lardy backsides counting my money and not answering my phone calls.

Much seething going on here. I need a date, ideally before I go to Moscow next month.
Names are just a souvenir ...
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
Top
User avatar
Silver_Owl
The Don
Posts: 7498
Joined: 27 Sep 2003, 18:52

They are an absolute waste of space, as are solicitors.
We've just taken our house off the market cos I'm sick of dealing with such fcukwits.
We forgive as we forget
As the day is long.
Top
User avatar
Karst
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1452
Joined: 04 Nov 2002, 00:00
Location: Belfast

Think they should use the Scottish system - seems towork better?
Top
Spiggy's hat
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 662
Joined: 31 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: East Yorkshire

andymackem wrote:Is there any law that prohibits the killing of estate agents? I'm currently at the bottom of a six-property chain to buy a flat (my first time, I'm a bit nervous) and it's driving me nuts.

.
Those chains have got to be a nightmare.

Luckily both times we bought a house, the sellers were moving into a brand new house, so there was no chain as such.

I have a friend who was due to move a couple of years ago, on Christmas eve. He had everything packed in boxes the day before, removal lorry booked etc. Then he got a call saying it's all off, as someone in the chain had decided they didn't want to move before Christmas!
Give me one good reason
Top
User avatar
Thrash Harry
Utterly Bastard Filthy
Posts: 1577
Joined: 13 May 2003, 20:56
Location: Over The Hill And Far Away
Contact:
Contact Thrash Harry

In my experience, estate agents do fnck all, but then that's because they have fnck all to do. The conveyancing is the key. If this one's an idiot as well, you're doomed. If possible, try and get a woman for both. They're much better at shouting at people.
Go to sleep now, Francis.
Top
User avatar
andymackem
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1191
Joined: 17 Dec 2003, 10:11
Location: Darkest Durham

I fear the problems lie further up the chain, which suggests I'm doomed whatever happens.

Hey ho. Back to bitterness, I guess.
Names are just a souvenir ...
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
Top
User avatar
Almiche V
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1385
Joined: 23 Apr 2003, 21:01
Location: Outta sight

I can't wait to experience all of this. Although at the moment I'm going through the 'car insurance claim' experience. Mmmmmmm :roll:
To not know and to ask a question is a moment of embarrassment; to not know and not ask is a lifetime of shame.
Top
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

A Jock speaks-
The 'chain' system, to me, smacks of some freemason like, arcane order.
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Top
User avatar
Petseri
Overbomber
Posts: 4579
Joined: 15 Apr 2002, 01:00

Karst wrote:Think they should use the Scottish system - seems towork better?
What is the Scottish system? :?:

Martin
Top
User avatar
Gary
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 519
Joined: 28 Mar 2002, 00:00
Location: Manchester

snubnoseuk wrote:I can't wait to experience all of this. Although at the moment I'm going through the 'car insurance claim' experience. Mmmmmmm :roll:
I've been through that one already, great fun isnt it! not...
Top
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

Petseri wrote:What is the Scottish system?
You see a house you like, you get it surveyed, if it has a good survey, you put in an offer. At the closing date for offers, highest bidder wins.
Gazumping is not allowed, by law, in Scotland.
We still have the Not Proven Verdict tho.

We only get it right sometimes. :cry:

Ach! well, sometimes is better than never.

You'd better ask some of our Southern Sistern about The Chain?

James
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Top
User avatar
andymackem
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1191
Joined: 17 Dec 2003, 10:11
Location: Darkest Durham

Don't get me started on car insurance ....

How does the Scottish system get round the fact that when someone sells a house they cannot move on until they have somewhere to go to?

That's how my chain has built up - we're all waiting on person or persons unknown to get off their arse(s) and get their solicitors busy.

The answer to this may be screamingly obvious - I'm a bit drunk and have been laughing at Newcastle's defence all night.

The no gazumping thing sounds good, though so far I've not had any trouble with that and don't anticipate it now. My only reservation is that surveys are quite expensive, and the thought of making three or four surveys before putting in unsuccessful offers is not attractive. I assume there's no compensation for a survey which doesn't lead to a purchase?
Names are just a souvenir ...
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
Top
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

andymackem wrote:How does the Scottish system get round the fact that when someone sells a house they cannot move on until they have somewhere to go to?
Not up here Andy.

Personal experience#1
Saw an hoose, got favourable survey, bid, Won!
Took a month to sell the auld hoose at a decent price.

Personal experience#2
The Bridging Loan for that month was not crippling, like I'd heard.
£85, this was 8 years ago, mind.
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Top
User avatar
Dave R
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 513
Joined: 17 Oct 2003, 22:53
Location: awol

This appeared in the Wolvo express and star some years ago:-

for your reference there is an old byelaw in Hereford that allows you to kill a welshman ONLY with a bow and arrow ONLY on a sunday, and ONLY in the cloisters of Hereford Cathedral.....the law has never been scrapped and is legally binding even to this day....(2001)

And the reason I share this gem??? :eek:

There HAS to be a byelaw covering the sellers and traders of dwellings in old english law that allows for the Termination of the lowest form of life (second only to accountants) - the Damned Estate Agent....

while your waiting in your chain...use google...go search... :wink:

Search and Destroy!!!!!!! :twisted:
M . I . A .

On Patrol..............?
Top
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

doktor wolf wrote:kill a welshman ONLY with a bow and arrow ONLY on a sunday, and ONLY in the cloisters of Hereford Cathedral
Please don't let Andy see this.
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Top
User avatar
andymackem
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1191
Joined: 17 Dec 2003, 10:11
Location: Darkest Durham

Red Sunsets wrote:
doktor wolf wrote:kill a welshman ONLY with a bow and arrow ONLY on a sunday, and ONLY in the cloisters of Hereford Cathedral
Please don't let Andy see this.
Too late. MWAHAHAHAHA.

I'm reminded of a similar byelaw concerning Scots in York, if they are within the city walls. Sadly you have to be a "son of York born" before you can get away with it, and I'm not.

As for lowest form of life, that may stretch a point slightly. But then again, I work in Basildon, which could open up a whole new realm of sub-life.

Does anyone else get the impression I'm a filthy mood this week?
Names are just a souvenir ...
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
Top
User avatar
Hojyuu-obi
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 634
Joined: 10 Feb 2004, 23:26
Location: 2000 Antwerp 4

andymackem wrote:
Red Sunsets wrote:
doktor wolf wrote:kill a welshman ONLY with a bow and arrow ONLY on a sunday, and ONLY in the cloisters of Hereford Cathedral
Please don't let Andy see this.
Too late. MWAHAHAHAHA.

I'm reminded of a similar byelaw concerning Scots in York, if they are within the city walls. Sadly you have to be a "son of York born" before you can get away with it, and I'm not.

As for lowest form of life, that may stretch a point slightly. But then again, I work in Basildon, which could open up a whole new realm of sub-life.

Does anyone else get the impression I'm a filthy mood this week?
I think he meant AndyTheGoth who is a Welshman.
Top
User avatar
andymackem
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1191
Joined: 17 Dec 2003, 10:11
Location: Darkest Durham

I realised that almost as soon as I posted, but I'm too idle to edit. Ho hum.
Names are just a souvenir ...
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
Top
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

No harm done. :innocent:
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Top
User avatar
Thrash Harry
Utterly Bastard Filthy
Posts: 1577
Joined: 13 May 2003, 20:56
Location: Over The Hill And Far Away
Contact:
Contact Thrash Harry

andymackem wrote:I'm reminded of a similar byelaw concerning Scots in York, if they are within the city walls.
That was voted for by British Rail travellers during the 80s when the only beer their buffet carriages stocked was tins of McEwans.
Go to sleep now, Francis.
Top
User avatar
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

Thrash Harry wrote: buffet carriages stocked was tins of McEwans.
Whiiit! :eek:
nae Scruttochs Olde Diridgable, with the bits of beak and twig in?
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Top
Post Reply

Return to “General Chat”