Karaoke - HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Black Shuck]

Aaaargh! this friday I'm going to a mate's birthday party at a Karaoke bar in Manchester.
It's a proper authentic Japanese establishment, a very nice, quite classy place.

But.... My mate has told me that she'll CRY if I don't perform at least two songs!!!!

The thing is, I can't sing. at all. I'm not being modest I'm being serious. So I was wondering if any Heartlanders had any advice on which songs to 'do'? Have any of you lot done Karaoke before? (drunken singalongs after closing time don't count).
Songs that are quite easy to sing- I want to sound as unfoolish as possible.

Or should I just go over the top, and sing a really camp, slow-burner like 'Nobody does it better'?

I'm not just posting this to raise a smile- I genuinely am panicking like mad, and any help would be HUGELY appreciated (I'll dedicate one of the songs to you!)

Please bear in mind that the place is unlikely to stock any Sisters records, or the tunes of any other obscure 80s goth bands, before you all rush to suggest Christian Death, or someone.

[emilystrange]

'I will Survive'. everyone will join in and drown you out.

[Ed Rhombus]

Don't do 'Angels'!!!!!!!


A bit of Frank goes well.

Also as you're supposed to croon the song, you can change the tune and speak bits without it being a problem

[markfiend]

Ask if they've got "My Way" and do it Sid Vicious stylee. They won't ask you to do another song

[hallucienate]

French Kissing In The USA
Kiss Them For Me
Kiss The Carpet
The Perfect Kiss

[Loki]

Agree with Ed's Frank crooning. Also an Elvis ballard, 'Always On My Mind' or 'Wonder Of You' can also be spoken. Just remember to turn up your upper lip. Everyone will singalong with the chorus anyway.

Or a Vic Reeves lounge singer stylee and you can sing anything. And no-one's any the wiser.

[sisxbeforedawn]

@BS which bar in Manchester are you going to be at? I'm out in Manchester on Friday night as well, I could always pop in and have a listen. I can't sing either and usually hide in the toilets when they try and get me up.

But GOOD LUCK

[wintermute]

if it's a genuine japanese bar they'll be used to indifferent vocals anyway, and your mates won't care, so why worry

pick songs that you know reasonably well, you won't have to think about how the words fit the music then.

i'd think that the more up tempo elvis - jailhouse, blue suede shoes, king creole - might be easier to get away with if you haven't done much public singing or are nervous

you could always ring and ask what they have in advance .....

[Black Shuck]

'I will Survive'. everyone will join in and drown you out.

Hmmm, interesting.

Don't do 'Angels'!!!!!!!

Don't worry. (shudder.)

A bit of Frank goes well.

Hmm, interesting.

[Quiff Boy]

wonderwall

[Izzy HaveMercy]

Ask if they've got "My Way" and do it Sid Vicious stylee. They won't ask you to do another song

We had a Karaoke-bar here that played this song almost every week-end, so that after a couple of months they bought the Sid Vicious-version just for us . It was the only thing we could sing in those days...Due to the booze, I have to admit

Other suggestions:

Whitney Houston 'I will always love you' --> SHE can't sing it right in the first place, so why don't YOU have a go at it?

'You'll never walk alone' -->A hundred thousand football fans can't sing it right, so why don't YOU...etc...etc...

And you can NEVER go wrong with Elvis...

IZ.

[emilystrange]

if you do 'I believe in a thing called love', I want the tape.

[Loki]

Spooky! Just received a spam email from @elvis.com. Deleted automatically buy maybe he was trying to have some input.

[christophe]

You will Never Never, Never see me sing in a Karaoke bar.
NEVER I tell You.
we had a Karaoke night at my favorite bar some months ago. I don't think there gone have it again. I don't want to scare You but. oh boy.
poor guys

[rian]

You will Never Never, Never see me sing in a Karaoke bar.
NEVER I tell You.
we had a Karaoke night at my favorite bar some months ago. I don't think there gone have it again. I don't want to scare You but. oh boy.
poor guys

Same here. Done it once when I was really REALLY drunk. Never again.

[emilystrange]

I'm with christophe on that.

[Francis]

Same here. Done it once when I was really REALLY drunk. Never again.

Ditto. Was dragged up on stage by my neighbour's 16 year old daughter. Pam dragged me back down again pretty rapidly before I had a chance to do anything inappropriate.

[Ed Rhombus]

How about a Meatloaf track?

A fourteen minute piece of rock opera nonsense always works well between 'Grease Lightning' and 'Summer of 69'

[rian]

Same here. Done it once when I was really REALLY drunk. Never again.

Ditto. Was dragged up on stage by my neighbour's 16 year old daughter. Pam dragged me back down again pretty rapidly before I had a chance to do anything inappropriate.

Do you remember what track it was? Mine were a ZZ-Top song

[Francis]

Do you remember what track it was? Mine were a ZZ-Top song

It was a duet. Can't remember which. Whatever it was, the audience would never have recognised it.

[Mrs RicheyJames]

Let your friend cry.

[Almiche V]

Manamana

[Black Shuck]

@BS which bar in Manchester are you going to be at? I'm out in Manchester on Friday night as well, I could always pop in and have a listen. I can't sing either and usually hide in the toilets when they try and get me up.

But GOOD LUCK

Thanks! I'm not sure what the bars actually called- it's in the centre of town; I'll ask my mate tonight and let you know it's name.

'You'll never walk alone' -->A hundred thousand football fans can't sing it right, so why don't YOU...etc...etc...

You DO know I'm an Everton fan, don't you?

Let your friend cry.

She'll probably be in tears by the end of the song...

[hallucienate]

The Informer

[pikkrong]

The Informer

Hal, how can you be so cruel?