Why are men so freaking fickle?

[Black Biscuit]

I have romantic interests from one end of town to the other - and I'm not boasting.

One girl, who I have been seeing a bit of, but not in recent weeks, sent me a text message last night after I texted her.

I had asked, "Doing anything over this weekend?"

She replied, "Uh, sort of - tomorrow's my 30th birthday. My sister is putting on a barbecue at lunchtime and then I'm drinking with Nina in the evening."

Recognizing that turning 30 is no trivial matter (!), I shot back a text saying: "You didn't think to invite me to all of this, did you - LOL!"

And she didn't write back to that. Not to worry. Chatted up another girl at the ice rink today. Seeing her again next week. And it's Saturday night as I write this. And I met the hottest girl in a club last weekend - and I'm sure I'll see her again soon.

I think you should all look at my Carl Marcus post in this forum for the final word on all of this sort of stuff....

[Erudite]

Without trying to sound too gothic (should that be go thick?) sooner or later everyone leaves or dies.

As a better writer than I once observed:
"Life [and love, for that matter] ends. That's what gives it value."
Parenthesis author's own.


I've been treated badly on occasion, but then again my own actions have not always been as honourable as I would have liked.

However, as one fortunate enough not to be breaking up at the moment, I'm taking my marriage one day at a time and reminding myself not to take Mrs E for granted.

My advice to the lonely hearts out there is that he/she probably wasn't worth it. Find someone who is (I know that's far easier said than done)
and enjoy it as long as it lasts.
And don't worry, it's not as though life's permanent!

PS
This is probably not worth the pixels it's represented by.
Saturday night - get out and party!

[James Blast]

My advice to the lonely hearts out there is that he/she probably wasn't worth it. Find someone who is (I know that's far easier said than done)
and enjoy it as long as it lasts.

or become a stalker

[andymackem]

So, basically, people just ain't no good. In the words of Nick Cave.

Been through this one myself this week, because I'm "impractical", apparently. Bah!

Grab another one and see what happens. Perhaps. Or sit in and watch Will and Grace to the accompaniment of beer, bangers and mash. Homemade mash, to the highest and most exacting of butter, cheese and mustard standards. With gravy.

Does the Hammerette feature ..? I do read your posts and I'm just curious ... and I'm coming for tea next friday.

Earl Grey do you?

The Hammerette is a convenient cover: she's not my type, I'm not her type. We get on, but that's about it. We serve to remind one another that we are not wholly incapable of communicating with the opposite sex, but would probably be a notch below dating. Mutual confidence boosting, and the (future) knowledge that the rocking chair and the cats really were a choice, if you see what I mean.

The "impractical" one would still be first choice (maybe first equal, but reality intervenes at some point), and since she returned from Germany this weekend will be offered the opportunity for crisis talks (in which the Hammerette will not feature, obviously). This may produce a satisfactory resolution: since she's been away I've refrained from sending her any e-mails (a very good thing, I'm vitriolic when angry) and had time to reconsider my initial irritation. So now at least I'm reasonably controlled and won't resort to making her feel bad just to boost my ego, which gives me a chance of saving something.

Odds-on she takes the opportunity to kick me in the emotional goolies, though.

Stalking has its attractions, but I'm far too lazy. Could I pay someone to stalk on my behalf?

[lucretia]

Well at least he had the decency last night to compose a two page email to me, explaining the whole thing and he was as sincere, honest, thoughtful and considerate as only he could be. Yep, my poor old heart is broken again but at least I know that I did mesmerise him for a while and I suppose, in the end, that's all that counts.

[lucretia]

Oh and I'm not drunk tonight ...

[James Blast]

Cheers lucretia clinky!

[Francis]

Bastards the lot of 'em.

[James Blast]

we are too level headed and simplistic for womankind

FACT!

[Lamia]

we are too level headed and simplistic for womankind

FACT!

Women dont want level headed and simplistic - we want mysterious and complicated!!!

Least Lamia does anyway!!!

[Francis]

we are too level headed and simplistic for womankind

FACT!

Women dont want level headed and simplistic - we want mysterious and complicated!!!

Least Lamia does anyway!!!

I'm with JimBob on this one. I tried mysterious and complicated but just ended up with a chip butty and a cup of strong tea.

As I stood at the bar wondering how the Noel Edmonds look-alike who had just taken my money at the door was now pouring me a pint, the by-now-vaguely-familiar sound of The Cramps filled the dancefloor. Over the next 18 months, I was to tread those boards in answer to the call of the anthems of the underground. Iggy Pop – The Passenger. B52s – Rock Lobster. Bauhaus – Kick In The Eye. Billy Idol – White Wedding. Pete Shelley – Homosapien. Joy Division – Novelty. Cabaret Voltaire – Just Fascination. Simple Minds – Changeling. Human League – Empire State Human. Theatre Of Hate – Original Sin. Spear Of Destiny – Liberator. Siouxsie And The Banshees – Happy House. But that first night, I just stood and watched. The clientele was mainly white, attire predominantly black, hair generally punk’d. Perhaps I needed to review my wardrobe if I was going to make this my regular haunt. But even though I didn’t exactly look the part, no-one seemed to notice, let alone care. I liked that. It felt very comfortable. Relaxed. No hassle. Afterwards, we went to Terry’s all-night café, where I had my first communion of chip butty and strong tea.

[lucretia]

Hell yeah!
A Chip Butty and strong tea ...!
Sounds just like it would hit the spot right now.

[_emma_]

From my experience, it feels much better when you are the one who dumps, not the one who is dumped. Still, as far as our mental health is concerned, rocking chair and cats are even better, indeed.

[Quiff Boy]

its a rather unsavoury thing to admit, but when you're the one thats been dumped you can have the moral high-ground and play the martyr for all its worth...

its extremely annoying to witness your ex else doing this, and its not partucularly healthy if its you thats doing it either (i've been on both sides) but my experience is that its not uncommon behaviour for at least one half of a broken relationship...

when you've done the dumping its easy for you to be seen as the villain, especially if you carry on with your life. if you dont get on with the business of living its too easy to lose yourself in regrets and thought like "why did i do that?" and "i want her back"

its never easy whatever side you're on and the feelings and motives of the dumper (rather than the dumpee) are often overlooked

oddly enough, there are very few relationships that i've ever wanted to get back in, and they were always the ones that i didn't end luckily i've always managed to get myself together relatively soon after (some longer than others however ) and look "forward"...

however, there is a saying that goes "the best way to get over a woman is when you're over a woman"

[Almiche V]

@Quiff Eloquently put.

[Quiff Boy]

@Quiff Eloquently put.

what? the last bit?

[lucretia]

its a rather unsavoury thing to admit, but when you're the one thats been dumped you can have the moral high-ground and play the martyr for all its worth...

its extremely annoying to witness your ex else doing this, and its not partucularly healthy if its you thats doing it either (i've been on both sides) but my experience is that its not uncommon behaviour for at least one half of a broken relationship...

when you've done the dumping its easy for you to be seen as the villain, especially if you carry on with your life. if you dont get on with the business of living its too easy to lose yourself in regrets and thought like "why did i do that?" and "i want her back"

its never easy whatever side you're on and the feelings and motives of the dumper (rather than the dumpee) are often overlooked

oddly enough, there are very few relationships that i've ever wanted to get back in, and they were always the ones that i didn't end luckily i've always managed to get myself together relatively soon after (some longer than others however ) and look "forward"...

however, there is a saying that goes "the best way to get over a woman is when you're over a woman"

I don't consider myself a martyr, I'm too whacked in the head. What will be will be ... and this (relationship) won't BE anything. So I guess I should just pick myself up, eh and get on with it. Crying into my beer only waters it down and that's a corporal crime. The chip butties definitely helped, btw.

[lucretia]

And QB is a sweety pie.

[straylight]

I have never given anyone the opportunity to dump me. Long may this remain the case. Not because I am evil or anything, I just avoid the whole shooting match. Too much pain & too little gain.

Neither gender comes out of this stuff well- we're all just people.

[andymackem]

Well, the phone call didn't eventually happen. A few politely amicable e-mails have been exchanged. I'm guessing that a phone call later in the week will end in an argument.

My quiet suggestions that stringing me along wasn't going to make me very happy have not be well received, so I look forward to the arrival of the heavy artillery by the end of the week.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM, as Baldrick once said!

[lucretia]

Well, the phone call didn't eventually happen. A few politely amicable e-mails have been exchanged. I'm guessing that a phone call later in the week will end in an argument.

My quiet suggestions that stringing me along wasn't going to make me very happy have not be well received, so I look forward to the arrival of the heavy artillery by the end of the week.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM, as Baldrick once said!

Ah, the muddles of love and the puddles we find ourselves in.
I think I'll start pouring all my love into me car.

[Brideoffrankenstein]

however, there is a saying that goes "the best way to get over a woman is when you're over a woman"

another saying-
the best way to get over a man is to get under another one.
worked for me

[Loki]

Jeez, in this day and age everyone's still showing Victorian prudedence when dealing with the frightfully unmentionables and sticking with the missionary position.

Krazee, krazee kids ...

[James Blast]

Beard Surfing

[Quiff Boy]