Latent Tendencies

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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CorpPunk
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Last night I had a very odd and very nice dream. But that's not the point.

Sometime during this dream I heard a noise outside of the dream world. Being in such a deep, dream-state sleep, I didn't immediately recognize what it was, or register its significance.

When I heard the noise a second time, it sounded like a very quiet knock. With one foot still firmly planted in REM stage, I managed to open my eyes and glance at the clock, which I understood, on a subconcious level, to display 5:00am. But I still wasn't awake.

Then I heard someone say my name, from far away, and it sounded as if she were crying. My brain suddenly screamed "Housemate in distress!" and I awoke instantly, leapt out of bed (remembering to grab my glasses cos I'm mad blind), threw open my bedroom door and demanded, "What is the problem? I will fix it!"

"Somebody's trying to break into the house," says A, cowering.

"Where? I will fix it!" says I, delirious.

"The front door--this guy was trying to break the door knob and yelling at me to let him in," says A. (This is more serious than it sounds--half our front door is composed of thin and easily-breakable panes of glass.)

Well. The guy was gone by the time I got there, and A. had already called the cops, using the phone in plain view of the weirdo like a smart girl (although the cops themselves were useless, as the cop shop is two blocks away and they took twenty minutes to arrive--pathetic mofos). I have to admit that the guy was considerate enough to shut the security gate with the broken lock on his way out. A better class of criminal, have we.

But the prospect of bodily harm and property damage is not what dismays me about this episode. Rather, it's that A.'s (quiet) knocking didn't rouse me, but as soon as she (equally quietly) called my name in the shaky-crying voice I was alert and on some sort of protective rampage. Could it be some heretofore untapped maternal instinct? Possible, but anyone who knows me would find it extremely unlikely, and I think it's kinda stupid. But on further thought, I think I've formulated a viable theory:

I have Latent Superhero Tendencies.

LSTs, my friends. I read Watchmen this weekend but I thought it was just a comic. Now I realize that Alan Moore (knows the score) was speaking to me personally. It's too late for me, but that doesn't mean I can't warn others, as one with LST would. Don't let this happen to you. Next time you feel like reading a comic book, turn on Fox news and get a taste of reality instead.

So what did we learn from this, boys and girls? Well, I now know that going to work on less than four hours of sleep makes me nauseous. And knowing it's half the battle.*




*Props to whoever gets this 80s cartoon reference.
Last edited by CorpPunk on 10 Aug 2004, 15:19, edited 1 time in total.
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Loki
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CorpPunk wrote: I have Latent Superhero Tendencies.
:lol: Lulled in an almost catatonic state by the preamble that I failed to see the punch-line coming ... :lol:
Loki was never worshiped as the other Gods,
Which is quite understandable.
CorpPunk
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I'm so glad someone has finally got the point JB!
CorpPunk
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My friend D. just told me that if I were one of the Watchmen I'd so be Rorschach. Hmmm.
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markfiend
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CorpPunk wrote:My friend D. just told me that if I were one of the Watchmen I'd so be Rorschach. Hmmm.
Couldn't stifle a snigger then sorry!
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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6FeetOver
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*Props to whoever gets this 80s cartoon reference.[/quote]

G.I.Jooooooooooooooooooooe! Wheeeee! ;D
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
CorpPunk
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Mad props to SINNY!!!

Image
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BlackBeard
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Pah G.I. Joe's a steaming poofter. , Action Man could have him easy
CorpPunk
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"Have him"?

Ew.
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BlackBeard
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In a fight, not THAT way.. Freak

although he still could
CorpPunk
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Hey, you said it, not me. And I know you were thinking it when you said it, cos I know how you think, perv.


(Loser.)
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BlackBeard
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You only know how i think cos you're a dirty ripper!!!
CorpPunk
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Fair enough, Beard Boy.
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Erudite
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CorpPunk wrote:Mad props to SINNY!!!

Image
Clearly, this is an American thing, or possibly after my time...

Still, I have at least heard of and read and enjoyed The Watchmen,
though IMO Moore has still to better Halo Jones Book III.

"They're not figs. Figs don't wear earrings."

'Nuff said.
You are what you drink - I'm a bitter man!
CorpPunk
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Really? I'll have to pick that one up.
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