Heartland

Scotty, PhD? Masters in PURE FILTH?!

Havent you lot got any sitting around on the sofa in your pants to be getting on with?

Hey, told ya I'm bonkers.
And a bonkers Italian is quite a thing

Bonkers??

Bonking would be quite a thing.

@PD. I see you trespassed on the pot pourri/ cakes & hoovering thread.
Tsk tsk.

I trespassed on here too. Sue me.

All who think Planet Dave is being told what he can and what he can't say on this thread by an outside influence say 'Aye'..


AYE!!



Ahhh, another night of the lads coming round for a cheeky smoke , some cold ones and the game on the big screen LCD all inglorious surround sound...

Heaven can't be to far from this perfect scenario..just swap 'the lads' for 'kate beckinsale and Charisma Carpenter.

Alright ladz, everything's sorted, we can stop looking now. Just whip her off to the local hospital for a quick ultrasound scan and bingo!

Syberberg wrote:Alright ladz, everything's sorted, we can stop looking now. Just whip her off to the local hospital for a quick ultrasound scan and bingo!

How does a Man make a Woman cum?

















































Who fuckin' cares!!

italians scientists found it? ....ppppfffftt....in Italy every man knows where it is











....and every woman in the world knows it

Marco - HL's resident luuuuuuuuuurve machine!

@ me












ask the ladies

psichonaut wrote:italians scientists found it? ....ppppfffftt....in Italy every man knows where it is
....and every woman in the world knows it

Oh puh-leeeeeeeeeze! It's only because the italians have better PR than the rest of us! We all know where it is, it's only the italians who have been able to convince the birds that they care where it is!
Complete and utter bol!ocks - italian men are just like the rest of us: roll after afterwards, fart, steal the covers, and fall asleep.




and may Marco strike me down if it is otherwise

EvilBastard wrote:

psichonaut wrote:italians scientists found it? ....ppppfffftt....in Italy every man knows where it is
....and every woman in the world knows it

Oh puh-leeeeeeeeeze! It's only because the italians have better PR than the rest of us! We all know where it is, it's only the italians who have been able to convince the birds that they care where it is!
Complete and utter bol!ocks - italian men are just like the rest of us: after afterwards, fart, steal the covers, and fall asleep.

aye......roll after afterwards, fart, steal the covers, and.........start the second half

What's the Scottish version of foreplay?





































"brace yourself"

How about "are you awake?"

mh wrote:How about "are you awake?"

wrong thread......the 3 words you'd never say is on tjhe other side

psichonaut wrote:

EvilBastard wrote:

psichonaut wrote:italians scientists found it? ....ppppfffftt....in Italy every man knows where it is
....and every woman in the world knows it

Oh puh-leeeeeeeeeze! It's only because the italians have better PR than the rest of us! We all know where it is, it's only the italians who have been able to convince the birds that they care where it is!
Complete and utter bol!ocks - italian men are just like the rest of us: after afterwards, fart, steal the covers, and fall asleep.

aye......roll after afterwards, fart, steal the covers, and.........start the second half

You take a half-time break between foreplay and penetration? I know footie leads to obsessive behaviour, but that's going a tad far.

Syberberg wrote:

psichonaut wrote:

EvilBastard wrote: Oh puh-leeeeeeeeeze! It's only because the italians have better PR than the rest of us! We all know where it is, it's only the italians who have been able to convince the birds that they care where it is!
Complete and utter bol!ocks - italian men are just like the rest of us: after afterwards, fart, steal the covers, and fall asleep.

aye......roll after afterwards, fart, steal the covers, and.........start the second half

You take a half-time break between foreplay and penetration? I know footie leads to obsessive behaviour, but that's going a tad far.

not between the foreplay and the penetration, but just a sigarette between the 1st and the 2nd

psichonaut wrote:

Syberberg wrote:

psichonaut wrote: aye......roll after afterwards, fart, steal the covers, and.........start the second half

You take a half-time break between foreplay and penetration? I know footie leads to obsessive behaviour, but that's going a tad far.

not between the foreplay and the penetration, but just a sigarette between the 1st and the 2nd

That's alright then.

I'm not allowed to have a ciggy in the bedroom, so I go and have a drink, then return when the half time entertainment is well underway.

Planet Dave wrote:I trespassed on here too. Sue me.

..and for your trespass there, MB will turn you into Planet Daphne..
(I admit I was considering to commit that very trespass with a new user named "eotrudy", but then felt that was too silly even for my standards..)

Oh, and for that G-spot topic: I guess most ladies think the italian chaps are their G-spots.

Meanwhile, the girls in the other room are being so deep... I can't believe how shallow you guys are ! And the fact that you're talking about penetration all the time doesn't make it any better !
Are guys simply incapable of being any deep ? Are they afraid ? Are they shy ? Are they stupid ? Are they hiding their true nature ? Are they... all that and then some more ?
But the real issue is : who gives a rat's ass ? It's girls I want to understand (yeah, yeah, it's a really interested kind of understanding, I know). What goes on in a guy's mind, I couldn't care less !

Ramone wrote:All who think Planet Dave is being told what he can and what he can't say on this thread by an outside influence say 'Aye'..


AYE!!



Ahhh, another night of the lads coming round for a cheeky smoke , some cold ones and the game on the big screen LCD all inglorious surround sound...

Heaven can't be to far from this perfect scenario..just swap 'the lads' for 'kate beckinsale and Charisma Carpenter.

I'd call the voices in my head 'inside influence' personally. But I'm with Eric on this, if this is even a vague cross-section of manliness then i'm off for the op. Wonder if you can get a brainectomy on the NHS?

I think you guys should all take a look at SINsister's last post from the other side. She has a good point.

well i wear off my shoes.....can i?

Badlander wrote:I think you guys should all take a look at SINsister's last post from the other side. She has a good point.

Don't tar us all...