Posted: 07 Apr 2009, 14:52
howeversultan2075 wrote:Yeah. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, etc.abridged wrote:Like QB says. Reading way too much into it.
howeversultan2075 wrote:Yeah. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, etc.abridged wrote:Like QB says. Reading way too much into it.
Ah, yes, that's the one - I've got the audio version - somewhere...Should have known he'd have a transcription!copper wrote:Stumbled upon it.
Erm, I don't see any allusions to sexual abuse specifically, and didn't intend anyone to make that connexion by my earlier remark. The comments he's made about there being a necessary element of violence in sexual relationships may have absolutely nothing to do with any childhood experiences - or may be associated with any sort of pleasurable/affectionate interactions, if he indeed suffered physical abuse from loved and/or trusted adults. On the other hand, there are other factors to be considered. (Look out, here comes my Cultural Relativist aspect...) Assuming this was 'torture' may be way off the mark if it was, indeed, the Chinese nurse who was responsible.And also wrote:Not a pretty sight, all n' all, with allusions to sexual abuse at the age of four - as well as physical parental torture.
All logical and thereby possible. None provable - and he sure isn't going to confirm it one way or the other. No doubt this sort of thing is precisely why he tends to be so close-mouthed about his interpersonal relationships...And also wrote:Not trying to sound like a shrink, but such experiences generally lead to children growing with a lasting sense of insecurity in some levels, which tends to make them a bit 'guarded'. Some of Von's decisions and attitudes in relationships (both working and personal) would obviously be colored by such memories. And when you're a bit of a lone wolf to begin with, that sort of combination doesn't exactly amount to the most accessible person on the planet.
In my experience, it's a pretty common reaction. It doesn't by definition follow that everyone who chooses that lifestyle is doing it exclusively for those reasons, but it certainly can be a factor.Debi wrote:it makes me wonder whether - for instance - in andrews case - studying something quite off the wall, taking drugs and expressing himself via the music and image - was and maybe still is a cry for help, love and attention that he lacked when young?
John Gardner famously said essentially the same thing about being a writer:Von wrote:You’ve got to have something twisted in you somewhere – not to want to be a rock star, ‘cos I never really wanted to be one – but to fuel you...
This doesn't necessarily mean his parents were monsters, of course - all that's necessary to cut off communication is an essentially lack of sympathy. (If my own mother weren't so in denial about the fact that she knows virtually nothing about who I am, she would probably have disappeared out of my life years ago.) But it does provide the emotional basis for creative process a lot of the time. A lot of the time...A psychological wound is helpful, if it can be kept in partial control, to keep the novelist driven.
My thoughts exactly.Quiff Boy wrote:i think you're all reading faaaaar too much into it
Too true - of course you could also say that the fact that he is so close mouthed about his personal life and relationships is exactly what leads to this sort of thing anytime the smallest tidbit of information is revealed. Not that I blame him - if I was in his position I'd probably do the same. People I know IRL have said I'm a very hard person to get to know, being the quiet introverted type so I understand hesitating to reveal too much about yourself. Certain things, anyways, until I feel comfortable enough with someone (which takes a lot...of course I'm sure I say too much online, hiding behind a computer is another story )7anthea7 wrote:No doubt this sort of thing is precisely why he tends to be so close-mouthed about his interpersonal relationships...
Oh boy - I'm actually pretty close to both of my parents (divorced, mother remarried) but definitely have my issues with both of them, separately. And while I adore my mother's family, I would be perfectly happy to never see my father's family ever again. I do the minimum of keeping in touch with them (going to family functions, holidays, etc) for my dad's sake, otherwise, yeah, cutting off all communication would be no problem for me - won't go into detail, this really isn't the place, as stated above. But I totally agree - a lack of sympathy, for whatever reason, is really all it takes to cut everything off, they don't have to be terrible people. I have no such sympathy for my dad's family, but I do for my dad, otherwise I already would have cut myself off from them.7anthea7 wrote:all that's necessary to cut off communication is an essentially lack of sympathy. (If my own mother weren't so in denial about the fact that she knows virtually nothing about who I am, she would probably have disappeared out of my life years ago.)
The personal things are not exactly public buisness anyway, are they? I guess a public person from the music buisness needs some kind of social firewall, or a private life becomes impossible.Nicole wrote:Too true - of course you could also say that the fact that he is so close mouthed about his personal life and relationships is exactly what leads to this sort of thing anytime the smallest tidbit of information is revealed. Not that I blame him - if I was in his position I'd probably do the same. People I know IRL have said I'm a very hard person to get to know, being the quiet introverted type so I understand hesitating to reveal too much about yourself. Certain things, anyways, until I feel comfortable enough with someone (which takes a lot...of course I'm sure I say too much online, hiding behind a computer is another story )7anthea7 wrote:No doubt this sort of thing is precisely why he tends to be so close-mouthed about his interpersonal relationships...
Apart from the cigarette burns, which he blames squarely on his parents. Not sexual, as I said, but definitely physical. Of course, he could be joking) I wouldn't put it past him) but that would be pure conjecture.Quiff Boy wrote:"one black night in 1963" is a throwaway comment.
as interesting (& even unique in its tone and content) as that interview segment is, i think you're all reading faaaaar too much into it
you don't have to have been raised by hindley & brady to not want much to do with your folks. as you grow up you forge your own sense of self, and quite often this is very different to that of your kith & kin, to the point where you dont have much in common with them. no malice, no great event acting as a turning point, just a gradual growing up and growing apart.
everything else is pure conjecture, and imho off the mark.
Quiff Boy wrote:howeversultan2075 wrote:Yeah. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, etc.abridged wrote:Like QB says. Reading way too much into it.
why thank you - i shall have to book mark your comment as usually my posts come across totally incoherant!!!stufarq wrote:Yes, that's really what I meant when I said he could be joking but you put it better.
HereNadia81 wrote:Somewhere (?) here on this forum,there's a thread about the song Suzanne.IIRC there is a reference to an interview in which AE says "my mother,always the curious one in the family,asked me who Suzanne is".This means his mum heard Suzanne and it's not as if she could've heard it on the radio...I think when AE says his family is irrelevant,he means his family is irrelevant to us.
So the original source and exact wording are still unconfirmed.The Green Lantern wrote:Have you heard, can't remember when and where, where Von talks about Suzanne. "Last night my mother, who is the most curious amongst the family, called and asked 'so, who is Suzanne?'" Or something like that. He then states that "Suzanne is ether."
Hey, I'm amazed you recalled it as well as you did - it was sheer luck that it was a topic that didn't turn up 5000 threads in a search...Nadia81 wrote:Thanks for locating that ,Anthea.Here I thought I was such a smarty-pants and all I remembered was someone else's memory.Silly me.
7anthea7 wrote:Which doesn't negate the idea the his family is 'irrelevant to us'. But IThe Green Lantern wrote:Have you heard, can't remember when and where, where Von talks about Suzanne. "Last night my mother, who is the most curious amongst the family, called and asked 'so, who is Suzanne?'" Or something like that. He then states that "Suzanne is ether."
suspect it's pretty irrelevant to him as well.
long since ineligible.timsinister wrote:Too true, but not all Brits abroad are the Club 18-30 generation.